It’s even more fun when he yells at the Senate, and its Democrats! We’re sure Fox showed all of this one. However: no one is allowed to watch Fox anymore! Or CNN, or MSNBC. (Ha ha thank god he called out MSNBC by name; hilarious defensive Keith Olbermann Special Comment in 3…2…1…) Also, he says, turn off the blogs. Well, you heard the man, get out of here. NAVIGATE AWAY. What are you still doing here? Turn off this blog. Go away. [YouTube]

Everybody was so excited about President Obama doing a limey-style Q&A with Republicans that now he’s doing it again, with Democrats! And it’s at the Newseum, the most famous building in all of Washington. This momentuous event clearly calls for a liveblog, so let’s have at it. MORE »

Chuck Schumer has reached out to America’s 101st Senator, Lou Dobbs, to help him write a bill about Mexicans. Now that Health Care is dead, Democrats have to find some other piece of legislation for Republicans to sink with their negative-18 vote supermajority. Immigration reform might do the trick, HENNGGHHH???? Especially with the implicit support of an orange-headed space mummy who was recently dumped by his boyfriend (ALIPAC) for hating Mexicans with newly insufficient zeal! MORE »

WELL THAT SUCKED, with all the jokes and the clapping! Poop all over that! Let’s see how horribly this went, by finding out what Wolf Blitzer and Chuck Todd and hmm, maybe Brit Hume think? Oh wait Brit Hume is dead, or at least retired, which is a slight to all Americans who won’t be able to retire until they’re 90, after President Obama’s Budget Commission is done eviscerating Social Security. MORE »

God, Keith Olbermann hates the word Zeitgeist so much, and yet he keeps using it because he has to! This is exactly like the president always borrowing the money from the Chinese, to keep Wall Street happy. Let’s see what pathetic excuses he has for his terrible failure to solve all the problems in America instantly, or at least in the last 12 months. MORE »

Wee hew, it has been nearly one whole year since newly minted President Barack Obama gave a Not-State-of-the-Union speech, in which he discussed how “resolve” and “green energy” were going to save our economy. Remember this speech, when everybody still sort of had hope, and thought maybe they could get a “job” with the Obama Administration, just like 350,000 of their closest friends? Those days are gone, now that health care is dead and the economy is dead and Ted Kennedy is also dead, and our sullen failure of a leader has to haul his carcass before a collection of angry jackals (Congress) to explain how it only took 12 months to ruin the country when it took George W. Bush eight whole years. MORE »

Are you feeling nostalgic for Election Night 2008? This is almost exactly like that night, with a few small differences. For one, it’s again illegal to be black in America, so go back to Socialism-land, Rahm! Also, Andrew Sullivan may move back to Canada, he’s so bummed. There’s also a very good chance the beloved Health Care Reform will be passed. But still, SO SAD, right? MARTHA COAKLEY IS AMERICA’S BIGGEST LOSER. Let’s enjoy the final liveblog of the final night of the final election of Soviet America, because life is going to be awesome once the Republicans use their complete control of the White House and Congress to send you back to prison, hippie. MORE »

New York Governor David Paterson was spotted over the weekend having lunch at a New Jersey restaurant with some non-wife woman, which is, if not downright illegal, then certainly in poor taste! Where does this man get off, having lunches in New Jersey all the time? MORE »

Ugh, Harold Ford Jr. Remember this guy? Lost his senate bid in Tennessee because of the terrible racist ad that suggested he spent all his free time cavorting nude with loose white women, and then became head of the DLC, at which point everybody realized it was maybe not so bad he had not become a senator? And now he just goes on the cable news sometimes and affably mumbles whatever crap is required to get to the next commercial break? He is thinking about running for the Senate again — this time from the state where all ambitious politicians move and run for senator! MORE »

At about 7 a.m. on this holiest of days, the “Day Before Xmas,” 60 senators who got a bribe from Harry Reid are expected to do some final procedural vote on health care reform, hooray! Your editor is on the West Coast trying to “enjoy the holidays,” and he is NOT getting up at 4 a.m. So, here’s a magical “scheduled post.” If something happens, yay. If something doesn’t, yay? [Washington Post]

Republican senators all want ancient Robert Byrd to DIE before Christmas Eve, so he can’t vote for Health Care Reform — this is not a jokey exaggeration, but documented fact. Democrats, on the other hand, just want Americans to honor Byrd’s half a century in the Senate by remembering his many legislative maneuvers and triumphs or whatever. Just kidding, they just want you to know Byrd is still, technically, alive. MORE »

Ha ha, those old people had to stay at work until 1 a.m. this morning after being stuck in the smelly old Senate for the entire snowbound weekend, and now Health Care Reform is just another three 60-vote procedural operations from becoming a real true Senate law the House can screw up. YIPPEE! MORE »

After being told that his beloved Nebraska would become the nation’s new raw-sewage & nuclear waste repository, Senator Ben Nelson suddenly decided he “likes the health care bill a super-whole lot!” So now maybe it has 60 votes, hooray! Libtards everywhere are preparing to spend the holidays chooching, as the current revised version of the Senate bill “would expand coverage to about 94 percent of eligible Americans under age 65.” [New York Times/ABC News]

Have you heard? Gays are, apparently, allowed to run for political office in Texas! One such gay actually won the mayoralty of Houston this weekend. Let’s learn a little bit more about Mayor-elect Annise Parker, who offers a winning combination of fiscal management skills and lesbianism. MORE »