Remember that time yesterday when Barack Obama acted like a Texas waitress and called that young female reporter "sweetie"? Well, he left her a contrite voicemail promising never to call her that terrible word again. The full transcript after the jump.
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The young lass who just a few short years ago wowed the world by dodging sniper fire in Bosnia will not be able to deliver a repeat performance dodging bombs in Puerto Rico because people in the Navy are mean.
Barack Obama is going to win in Oregon as big as Hillary won in West Virginia, but it will count for twice as many delegates. Also, he won the nomination. Still, he has to keep campaigning because Hillary will never ever quit the race, so he had to do this depressing Q&A with one of the "alt-weekly" papers in Portland. If you thought alt-weeklies were the last refuge of aging grunge losers, this interview really isn't going to change your view.
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Mary Lou Retton also hails from the fair state of West Virginia. And if Hillary Clinton were an athlete, she would be Mary Lou Retton in a fetching flag-themed leotard. What does Mary Lou Clinton have to say to the voters of West Virginia? Click the clicky and find out!
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Who's that to our left? Why, it's famous West Virginian Don Knotts, pictured here outside a typical hometown polling place. Don Knotts would be rolling in his grave, and drinking shots with Terry McAuliffe's dad in Heaven, if he knew about all the Divisions and Distractions in the Democratic Party these days. Drink a shot with Wonkette in CNN Hell as we watch Wolf Blitzer and company talking about very little until the polls close!
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Nope, the primary season still isn't over — and tonight the Democrats' Death March to the White House leads straight through West Virginia, whose oppressed citizens only get to vote once a day. Grab a liter of grain alcohol, a six-pack of Grape Nehi, some squirrel jerky, and your favorite semiautomatic firearm on your way home from work and we'll see you back here tonight.
Hillary Clinton's team of hard-working white Americans wrote a memo today. It is all about the importance of her winning the primary in the "key swing state" of West Virginia, which John McCain will win in a landslide in November. Read the memo in full after the jump.
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And now they will have that to live with for the rest of their life. [AP Photo]
According to learned graphology experts, Hillary Clinton is rigid and disciplined; John McCain has a fiery temper; and Barack Obama communicates well. These deep insights arrived after careful consideration of a few writing samples of each candidate, although any five-year-old who watches the news for two minutes might reach the same conclusion.
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