Thank you, Democratic National Committee, for finally wrapping up this dumb primary season. The last primary in Puerto Rico had been scheduled for June 7 but has been moved to June 1, so now Montana and South Dakota will get the last say on June 3. Jubilant Americans are flooding the streets to shout this primary season’s new motto, “FOUR LESS DAYS!” The DNC’s finally done something right, you say? That’s only because they were correcting something pathetically wrong: “Puerto Rico’s original plan called for selecting delegates at caucuses June 7. However, after the DNC approved the plan in December, it was discovered that the date was typo and should have read June 1, DNC officials said.” [AP/Google]

A seven-figure book deal for telling “exuberant, in-your-face” tales about how he convinced state chairmen to share their voter lists? Yes, former DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe truly is a “fundraiser extraordinaire.” But according to an operative who was exuberantly draining bottles of Argentinian red with McAuliffe at Olive’s the other night, his anecdotes are pretty entertaining. Herewith, a rough transcription of a typical McAuliffe monologue:

Wednesday night at the convention, sitting in my box, all of a sudden I hear a scuffle behind me, yelling and screaming. My security guys were getting into a scuffle with P. Diddy, who was in the box. One of the political operatives had said he should put a coat on over his “VOTE OR DIE” T-shirt, and he wasn’t happy about it. MORE »

Times are clearly slow at the Democratic National Committee. (As they are here, granted) First, we hear that Dean’s taking time off from his busy schedule of making steam come out of his ears to kick off a marriage, came this press release, which contains what we think may be the surest sign of Democrat desperation since Hillary:

BUSH IN SUPERIOR HEALTH, BUT AMERICA’S YOUTH NOT

Hey, that was easy. And now that they’ve discovered this trope, there’s really no end to where they can take it: MORE »