Rod Blagojevich, the fifth Beatle, was arrested just three days ago for being a comical idiot who got caught on tape swearing his face off while plotting to sell Barack Obama’s vacated Illinois Senate seat. But he’s not letting anything like an arrest and national humiliation get him down, oh no! He is upbeat and positive about, uh, ignoring all the polls that say he should resign, because a terribly disgraced and effectively powerless governor has many important things to attend to — things he cannot possibly hope to affect in the slightest! MORE »

Who would’ve guessed just a year ago that “regular Americans” hated Rudy Giuliani as much as, say, Wonkette? Republican or Democrat, Black or White, Kenyan or American, we are all united in this post-racial era of thinking Rudy’s a complete creep.

Today, our weirdest and most politically dangerous state will choose a GOP candidate. And if the good people of Florida continue to despise Rudy as much as normal people — polls show him tied for third with Mike Huckabee — our grand hero of 9/11 may be back on the corporate-retreat lecture circuit for good. Asked if he’ll finally drop out of the race and quit embarrassing our nation, Giuliani said, “Wednesday morning, we’ll make a decision.” [ABC News, Miami Herald]

Loathsome ratface Rudy Giuliani is still in England, hanging around what’s left of Maggie Thatcher and making bizarre outlandish claims to the British, because he thinks they’re all idiots, too. This is what he told reporters yesterday: “I’m probably one of the four or five best known Americans in the world.” Rudy’s such a delusional pompous asshole that he probably believes this, but of course he couldn’t be more wrong. MORE »