Tag Archives: delusions

  trigger warning: schadenfreude

Come, Drink In Delusional Mitt Romney’s Election-Night Sadness With Us

Oh boy, we have now reached our favorite part of the election cycle: the end! It’s great because (a) the stressful part is over and (b) all the low-level staffers for both campaigns start telling secrets to the reporters that they most want to sleep with. And so it was that the lucky folks at CBS, America’s old-person network, got the scoop on the tragic emotional landscape of the Romney-Ryan campaign’s final night, when everyone’s sincere belief in their inevitable victory ran head-first into reality. Join us for a gleefully annotated summary, after the jump! Read more on Come, Drink In Delusional Mitt Romney’s Election-Night Sadness With Us…
  it'll be a landslide

Mitt Romney: If We Can’t Win Latinos, How Did We Win Puerto Rico, HENGHHH?

Mitt Romney, bless his heart, has reached the “delusion” portion of the campaign trail. “Those people who don’t think that Latinos will vote for Republicans need to take a look at Puerto Rico and see there that conservative principles and Latino voters go together,” he said, listing interests Latinos shared with other voters, like jobs. “I intend to become our nominee, and I intend to get Latino voters to vote for a Republican and take back the White House.” Read more on Mitt Romney: If We Can’t Win Latinos, How Did We Win Puerto Rico, HENGHHH?…
 

Rick Perry Still in This Thing, Because Governing Texas Is So Last Summer

The night after finishing fifth place in Iowa, ahead of now-quitter Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, one of the most subdued dudes (subdudes!) ever, was up running around a lake in serious winter running gear, his hair as unkempt and fluffy as a lamb’s. He tweeted something about training for a marathon? And it included this photo, complete with a thumbs-up sign, which is what people do when things aren’t good enough that they can just stand there looking cocksure. Actually the marathon is the race for the Republican presidential nomination, which he is still running in, get ittttttttt. The lieutenant governor of Texas must be thrilled. Read more on Rick Perry Still in This Thing, Because Governing Texas Is So Last Summer…
 

Say Goodbye To Rudy Giuliani, America’s Loser

Who would’ve guessed just a year ago that “regular Americans” hated Rudy Giuliani as much as, say, Wonkette? Republican or Democrat, Black or White, Kenyan or American, we are all united in this post-racial era of thinking Rudy’s a complete creep. Today, our weirdest and most politically dangerous state will choose a GOP candidate. And if the good people of Florida continue to despise Rudy as much as normal people — polls show him tied for third with Mike Huckabee — our grand hero of 9/11 may be back on the corporate-retreat lecture circuit for good. Asked if he’ll finally drop out of the race and quit embarrassing our nation, Giuliani said, “Wednesday morning, we’ll make a decision.” [ABC News, Miami Herald] Read more on Say Goodbye To Rudy Giuliani, America’s Loser…
 

In Rudy Giuliani’s Mind, He’s ‘One Of The Four Or Five Best Known Americans In The World’

Loathsome ratface Rudy Giuliani is still in England, hanging around what’s left of Maggie Thatcher and making bizarre outlandish claims to the British, because he thinks they’re all idiots, too. This is what he told reporters yesterday: “I’m probably one of the four or five best known Americans in the world.” Rudy’s such a delusional pompous asshole that he probably believes this, but of course he couldn’t be more wrong. Read more on In Rudy Giuliani’s Mind, He’s ‘One Of The Four Or Five Best Known Americans In The World’…