delegates - Wonkette

Posts Tagged “delegates”

failed strategies

Mark Penn Is Dumber Than Everyone

Hillary's election strategy is legendarily flawed, what with it making her lose and all. Look at the classic fable of New Jersey and Idaho on Super Tuesday: Hillary puts all her time into winning the big state, ignores Idaho, while Obama holds one mega-rally in Boise. She wins New Jersey's delegates 59-48 (+11, for those of you who hate Elite Math) while Obama win's Idaho's delegates 15-3 (+12). Was it just stubbornness, or did she think she would win New Jersey by a larger amount? A new Time article reveals that this poor strategy stemmed from the simplest possible explanation: Chief Strategist Mark "Bowser" Penn had no idea what "apportioned delegates" were. He literally did not know the rules of the Democratic party's nominating process. More »

2:29 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By Newell
5,146 views, 49 comments

Latest by IrasGlasses: + Watch video Mark Penn Should Take Responsibility For Clinton's Loss more »

elite math

How Hillary Clinton Will Win The Nomination Now

So Hillary Clinton has announced that she will stay in the presidential race until there is a nominee. By most measures, there already is one, so she is stupid. But Elite Math still says that she has a chance of winning this thing, as the above scenario from CNN's thrill-a-minute delegate counter shows. In this one, she will clinch the nomination (with one extra delegate!) by winning 45% of undecided superdelegates and 100% of remaining pledged delegates. Yes She Can! What other possibilities are there for Hillary to become president, according to this fun CNN game? More »

2:34 PM on Wed May 7 2008
By Newell
8,774 views, 114 comments

Latest by inchdeepmilewide: When i first started reading what you all had to say, i was hugely impressed. I thought you were all immensely funny and smart. Now i am beginning to suspect you are no more than a bunch of wannabe intellectuals, more »

michigan can't catch a break

Jennifer Granholm's Medical Emergency Drama!

Yoiks! Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm, the woman who could be president someday if she weren't a secret Canadian, has undergone emergency surgery to remove "a bowel obstruction." We don't know much about bowel obstructions except that labrador retrievers get them when they eat pantyhose. The governor's problem seems to stem from a 1993 car accident. But what will this mean for Michigan's Democratic delegate mess? More »

10:36 AM on Wed Apr 30 2008
By saraksmith
1,639 views, 26 comments

MICHIGAN DEMOCRATS COME UP WITH NEW PLAN THAT WILL FAIL: The Michigan Democratic party has yet another new proposal to figure out its horrible situation: Give 69 delegates to Hillary and 59 to Obama. SOUNDS GOOD OVER HERE. But a little 69 action may not be good enough for Hillary. [Marc Ambinder]

86 comments

good lord

Here's a Solution: Sell Florida And Michigan To Paultards

Jiminy crickets, the DNC is going to have more hearings on May fucking 31 to decide the status of Michigan and Florida's delegates. They are going to sit around in a stack of burning hobbit carcases and drink Sprite and think about whether they should seat the states' superdelegates and half of their plebeian delegates. The delegates have declared that standing room will not suffice. [Ben Smith]

4:58 PM on Fri Apr 25 2008
By Newell
1,105 views, 36 comments

he cheats with his libelous delegates

Obama Supporter Who Calls Black Children 'Monkeys' Will Not Step Down!

Linda Ramirez-Sliwinski, an Illinois delegate to the Democratic National Convention for Barack Obama, recently got a $75 disorderly conduct ticket from local police "for calling some African-African neighborhood children 'monkeys' as they were climbing a tree." It is clear that she must be one of those secret delegates for Clinton who will switch her vote on the third nominating ballot! More »

4:53 PM on Wed Apr 9 2008
By Newell
2,557 views, 47 comments

moving targets

Whose Side Are You On, Pelosi?

This Nancy Pelosi character is a real piece of work. The Speaker of the House keeps offering opinions on what to do about the Democratic nomination for president, and every time it's some version of "Oh well, things will work themselves out P.S. VOTE FOR OBAMA. OR CLINTON, IF YOU WANT." First she says she doesn't think Democratic superdelegates will go against the popular vote at the convention — meaning that Pelosi is just another Obama freak riding the Hope Express all the way to President McCain's inauguration day. But then today on Good Morning America she says pretty much the opposite thing! More »

10:00 AM on Tue Apr 1 2008
By saraksmith
2,061 views, 46 comments

Latest by Miss Perception: Don't mind Pupster. She is just angry because her "agency" just reduced her from three diamonds to two diamonds because of lack of demand. more »

the primacaucus lives

Barack Obama Wins Texas Primacaucus Nightmare!

Oh you thought Hillary Clinton won Texas on March 4? Think again! Instead of a normal voting system, Texas has a vast and specially designed labyrinth of despair that prevents all but the most froth-mouthed true believers from ever emerging with something called a "vote" — so upon second inspection, it looks like the latest round goes to Barack Obama. More »

11:35 AM on Sun Mar 30 2008
By saraksmith
5,935 views, 49 comments

white male restoration

Could Liberal Elitist Al Gore Win Nomination?

Yes, absolutely, no doubt, because that is precisely what Time's Joe Klein says and that makes it true. You see, back in the old days, the national nominating conventions were very important. Since humans had no means of communicating long-distance until 1994 or so, each party's leaders would gather in some fancy saloon in, say, Ohio, and smash whiskey bottles over each other's heads until they decided on a good presidential nominee. And this is why Al Gore will finally win the presidency at this year's Democratic National Convention. More »

2:52 PM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Newell
3,193 views, 37 comments

Latest by ARCADIA: Joe Klein obviously gets paid for his columns, regardless of whether they make a sense. more »

They are reaching another Deal to have a primary in that state! Colorado? No, Michigan! A statement from Party Officials, via the New York Times: "At this time we are focusing on the possibility of a state-run primary in early June, which would not use any state funding. This option would require the passage of legislation by the State Legislature, and we look forward to working with the members of the Legislature in the coming days to see if this option can be made a reality." Ooh, a state primary that Jesus and the Mexicans pay for — that's the best solution yet! Watch it fail. [NYT]

32 comments

florida and michigan forever

Would Barry Accept Possible Back Room 'Deal' Over Florida and Michigan Delegates?

The Florida Democratic party has issued a draft memo for a possible mail-in do-over primary vote that will likely never happen, because it costs money. It would also require effort, and everyone in Florida is a retired police officer. Who wants to piece that half-baked bastardization of Democracy together? The various alligators? No, no one wants this... this... "mail-in" faux primary. Fortunately the Democratic party "elders" may be cooking up something that requires no effort and everyone would accept, but maybe not Barack Obama. More »

4:46 PM on Thu Mar 13 2008
By Newell
3,942 views, 68 comments

Latest by Gunner: I believe the deal was: if you schedule your primary too early, your delegates don't get seated at all. Any compromise has to have at least as much bite as that. Anything less will just encourage states to do this more »

suck it, hillary

Senator Clinton's Iron Grip On Texas Loosens

Hillary is about to lose the state of Texas and also the nomination for President, because nobody likes a failure. If Barack Obama gains four thousandths of one percent of the primary vote in Texas' Senate District 19, where 14 precincts have yet to report, Hillary Clinton's overall primary delegate count will slip to 64 versus Obama's 62. In other words, she will lose by not winning enough. More »

4:10 PM on Wed Mar 5 2008
By saraksmith
4,035 views, 47 comments

all the way to the convention from hell

What EVIL Tactics Will Clinton Employ Now?

Hooray for Hillary — she won Texas and Ohio yesterday but made absolutely no inroads into Obama's insurmountable pledged delegate lead! What's next? According to everyone's favorite senior adviser Harold Ickes, pledged delegates don't matter, because they are not bound and will vote for Clinton when Obama is revealed to be behind 9/11 & terror. More »

3:01 PM on Wed Mar 5 2008
By Newell
2,745 views, 47 comments

walnuts!

John McCain Is President of Republicans!

MSNBC and the AP and most other people are projecting that with tonight's victories, John McCain will top 1,200 delegates. Since the Republican nominee only needs 1,191 delegates, John McCain has won the Republicans who hate him. Congrats to WALNUTS! We loathe you.

9:05 PM on Tue Mar 4 2008
By Newell
501 views, 18 comments

stealing

Hillary Denies Stealing Obama's Pledged Delegates, May Be Lying

Hillary spokesman Phil Singer denies that the Clinton campaign will steal all of Barack Obama’s hard-earned national treasure and pledged delegates. As he tells TPM, “We have not, are not and will not pursue the pledged delegates of Barack Obama. It’s now time for the Obama campaign to be clear about their intentions.” Who does he mean by “We,” however? Singer and his dog, maybe — they will not pursue Barack’s pledged delegates? [TPM Election Central]

12:45 PM on Tue Feb 19 2008
By Newell
1,186 views, 31 comments

Latest by PutinMuscles: @Demtard: do you mean anal beads? more »

supernatural delegates

Clinton Secures Endorsement From The Dead

Speaking to an audience in Texas yesterday, Senator Hillary Clinton disclosed that she had finally nailed down the support of two very influential Texans who together might tip the balance in her favor on March 4. These high-profile political leaders from the Lone Star State made tremendous inroads for women in their many years of service to state and country. And now they’re dead! More »

9:27 AM on Thu Feb 14 2008
By saraksmith
3,974 views, 54 comments

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR HILLARY?: The ever-brilliant Chuck Todd on MSNBC says Hillary will have to win 55 to 60 percent of pledged delegates starting with the Texas and Ohio primaries on March 4. Chuck Todd says this will be hard! What else did Chuck Todd say? Many things. Andrea Mitchell also says the polls prove that “white men can jump, to a black candidate.” Granted, she has sex with Alan Greenspan.

12 comments

secret back door deals

Howard Dean To Decide Democratic Nomination!

Howard Dean never became president, but now he might be able to pick one! He said yesterday that the DNC would like to have a nominee by mid-March or April. But he will NOT have him some kind of brokered convention if that doesn’t work. Oh yes, he went there: an “arrangement” might be in order. More »

4:20 PM on Wed Feb 6 2008
By Newell
4,556 views, 59 comments

Somebody Painted Their Car To Look Like Hillary Clinton

Posts Tagged “delegates”