Tag Archives: delegates

  hillary in the house

HILLARY CLINTON WILL BE FORMALLY NOMINATED AT DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION: “Reports of strife between negotiators for Sen. Hillary Clinton and Sen. Barack Obama are exaggerated and the two sides are nearing an agreement on how Clinton’s delegates will participate in the formal nominating process at the Democratic National Convention, according to advisers to both Democrats.” [Marc Ambinder/The Caucus] Read more on …
  aww

Dejected Clinton Delegate Expresses Sadness With Pretty Letterhead

Here’s the first page of a real letter from some sad panda named Marvin D. Wells, one of 28 pledged Hillary Clinton delegates from Washington State who will still cast his vote for her at the national convention in August. He still hopes that Hillary can pull off a coup at the convention, you see, because without her he’s “Just A Nobody.” We know this because it’s written in large purple fairy-tale font atop the letter. Why must Barack Obama hurt this adorable Microsoft Word ’97 artist’s feelings? WHY MUST BARACK OBAMA MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE A NOBODY? [PDF Letter via Slog] Read more on Dejected Clinton Delegate Expresses Sadness With Pretty Letterhead…
 

Lanny Davis Continues Remarkable Streak Of Douchebaggery

Lanny Davis, the staunch Clinton ally and textbook definition of why our society hates lawyers, has spent the last month or two or sixteen making a fool of himself as he tries to ruin Obama’s chances in November. During the Pennsylvania primary he noted how pathetic a candidate Obama is; he comically melted down on national teevee during the Indiana primary, while explaining how Obama’s lead is illegitimate; he fueled the rage Clinton backers were fake-feeling by chastising Obama for mentioning Bill Richardson as a potential VP; he decided it would be fair to give Hillary 77% of Michigan’s delegates, and when that didn’t happen, he ran around the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee meeting like a 12-year-old. After treating Obama and the entire world so fairly, he is now circulating a “petition” for Obama to name Hillary his vice president. Somehow, he will find a way (or four) to sue when Obama doesn’t pick her. [CNN] Read more on Lanny Davis Continues Remarkable Streak Of Douchebaggery…
 

Is Our Hillary Going To Drop Out Or Not? Someone Find Out!

Can Obama do it? Can Hillary force herself to lose? Every reporter in the country is scanning e-mails, harassing sources, divining from “expense reports,” following travel schedules, monitoring clandestine superdelegate meetings, et cetera et cetera and so forth, to see what’s gonna happen tomorrow. Here’s a bulleted list of tea leaves being read. Our guess? Hillary herself has not even considered making a plan yet. Read more on Is Our Hillary Going To Drop Out Or Not? Someone Find Out!…
 

More Coverage of the DNC RBC Meeting!

“The Democrats are throwing the election away. And for what? An inadequate black male?” [Firedoglake] American Hero Lanny Davis runs around the Marriott shouting and cursing at people to listen to his crap, only to be mocked. You must read this 80 times. [Huffington Post] Larry Sinclair shows up, carrying a box of “Obama’s DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS: Murder, Drugs, Gay Sex” fliers. [TNR, YouTube] More nutjob protesters, after the jump. Read more on More Coverage of the DNC RBC Meeting!…
 

The End (Of The World)?

Here’s a picture from our Wonkette “Saturday” operative. It is the worst car in the world, and America should be ashamed of it. It’s “rallying” around the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee at some Marriott in northwest Washington D.C., along with various comical Hilltards and tragically counter-protesting Obamatards. Somehow the only result of the meeting will be the War in Iran. But are they making any progress? Perchance! Read more on The End (Of The World)?…
 

Each Candidate To Declare Self Winner Tomorrow

Ooh, won’t tomorrow be fun! Obama, of course, is going to half-declare himself the winner, as his campaign predicts it will have the majority of pledged delegates following Kentucky and Oregon’s primaries. He’ll be spending the night in Iowa, where he started his Quest. (Circle of Life and all that). Obama is not very smart however, and he — like the DNC — considers the winning number of delegates to be 2,025; Hillary’s team has made up a new number, 2,209, that includes Michigan and Florida. And guess what she’s doing tomorrow? Declaring a popular vote lead. So tomorrow we will have two declared winners, and no souls, and an Iraq War. [AFP, NYT] Read more on Each Candidate To Declare Self Winner Tomorrow…
 

Mark Penn Is Dumber Than Everyone

Hillary’s election strategy is legendarily flawed, what with it making her lose and all. Look at the classic fable of New Jersey and Idaho on Super Tuesday: Hillary puts all her time into winning the big state, ignores Idaho, while Obama holds one mega-rally in Boise. She wins New Jersey’s delegates 59-48 (+11, for those of you who hate Elite Math) while Obama win’s Idaho’s delegates 15-3 (+12). Was it just stubbornness, or did she think she would win New Jersey by a larger amount? A new Time article reveals that this poor strategy stemmed from the simplest possible explanation: Chief Strategist Mark “Bowser” Penn had no idea what “apportioned delegates” were. He literally did not know the rules of the Democratic party’s nominating process. Read more on Mark Penn Is Dumber Than Everyone…
 

How Hillary Clinton Will Win The Nomination Now

So Hillary Clinton has announced that she will stay in the presidential race until there is a nominee. By most measures, there already is one, so she is stupid. But Elite Math still says that she has a chance of winning this thing, as the above scenario from CNN’s thrill-a-minute delegate counter shows. In this one, she will clinch the nomination (with one extra delegate!) by winning 45% of undecided superdelegates and 100% of remaining pledged delegates. Yes She Can! What other possibilities are there for Hillary to become president, according to this fun CNN game? Read more on How Hillary Clinton Will Win The Nomination Now…
 

Jennifer Granholm’s Medical Emergency Drama!

Yoiks! Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm, the woman who could be president someday if she weren’t a secret Canadian, has undergone emergency surgery to remove “a bowel obstruction.” We don’t know much about bowel obstructions except that labrador retrievers get them when they eat pantyhose. The governor’s problem seems to stem from a 1993 car accident. But what will this mean for Michigan’s Democratic delegate mess? Read more on Jennifer Granholm’s Medical Emergency Drama!…
 

MICHIGAN DEMOCRATS COME UP WITH NEW PLAN THAT WILL FAIL: The Michigan Democratic party has yet another new proposal to figure out its horrible situation: Give 69 delegates to Hillary and 59 to Obama. SOUNDS GOOD OVER HERE. But a little 69 action may not be good enough for Hillary. [Marc Ambinder] Read more on …
 

Here’s a Solution: Sell Florida And Michigan To Paultards

Jiminy crickets, the DNC is going to have more hearings on May fucking 31 to decide the status of Michigan and Florida’s delegates. They are going to sit around in a stack of burning hobbit carcases and drink Sprite and think about whether they should seat the states’ superdelegates and half of their plebeian delegates. The delegates have declared that standing room will not suffice. [Ben Smith] Read more on Here’s a Solution: Sell Florida And Michigan To Paultards…
 

Obama Supporter Who Calls Black Children ‘Monkeys’ Will Not Step Down!

Linda Ramirez-Sliwinski, an Illinois delegate to the Democratic National Convention for Barack Obama, recently got a $75 disorderly conduct ticket from local police “for calling some African-African neighborhood children ‘monkeys’ as they were climbing a tree.” It is clear that she must be one of those secret delegates for Clinton who will switch her vote on the third nominating ballot! Read more on Obama Supporter Who Calls Black Children ‘Monkeys’ Will Not Step Down!…
 

Whose Side Are You On, Pelosi?

This Nancy Pelosi character is a real piece of work. The Speaker of the House keeps offering opinions on what to do about the Democratic nomination for president, and every time it’s some version of “Oh well, things will work themselves out P.S. VOTE FOR OBAMA. OR CLINTON, IF YOU WANT.” First she says she doesn’t think Democratic superdelegates will go against the popular vote at the convention — meaning that Pelosi is just another Obama freak riding the Hope Express all the way to President McCain’s inauguration day. But then today on Good Morning America she says pretty much the opposite thing! Read more on Whose Side Are You On, Pelosi?…
 

Barack Obama Wins Texas Primacaucus Nightmare!

Oh you thought Hillary Clinton won Texas on March 4? Think again! Instead of a normal voting system, Texas has a vast and specially designed labyrinth of despair that prevents all but the most froth-mouthed true believers from ever emerging with something called a “vote” — so upon second inspection, it looks like the latest round goes to Barack Obama. Read more on Barack Obama Wins Texas Primacaucus Nightmare!…
 

Could Liberal Elitist Al Gore Win Nomination?

Yes, absolutely, no doubt, because that is precisely what Time‘s Joe Klein says and that makes it true. You see, back in the old days, the national nominating conventions were very important. Since humans had no means of communicating long-distance until 1994 or so, each party’s leaders would gather in some fancy saloon in, say, Ohio, and smash whiskey bottles over each other’s heads until they decided on a good presidential nominee. And this is why Al Gore will finally win the presidency at this year’s Democratic National Convention. Read more on Could Liberal Elitist Al Gore Win Nomination?…
 

They are reaching another Deal to have a primary in that state! Colorado? No, Michigan! A statement from Party Officials, via the New York Times: “At this time we are focusing on the possibility of a state-run primary in early June, which would not use any state funding. This option would require the passage of legislation by the State Legislature, and we look forward to working with the members of the Legislature in the coming days to see if this option can be made a reality.” Ooh, a state primary that Jesus and the Mexicans pay for — that’s the best solution yet! Watch it fail. [NYT] Read more on …
 

Would Barry Accept Possible Back Room ‘Deal’ Over Florida and Michigan Delegates?

The Florida Democratic party has issued a draft memo for a possible mail-in do-over primary vote that will likely never happen, because it costs money. It would also require effort, and everyone in Florida is a retired police officer. Who wants to piece that half-baked bastardization of Democracy together? The various alligators? No, no one wants this… this… “mail-in” faux primary. Fortunately the Democratic party “elders” may be cooking up something that requires no effort and everyone would accept, but maybe not Barack Obama. Read more on Would Barry Accept Possible Back Room ‘Deal’ Over Florida and Michigan Delegates?…
 

Senator Clinton’s Iron Grip On Texas Loosens

Hillary is about to lose the state of Texas and also the nomination for President, because nobody likes a failure. If Barack Obama gains four thousandths of one percent of the primary vote in Texas’ Senate District 19, where 14 precincts have yet to report, Hillary Clinton’s overall primary delegate count will slip to 64 versus Obama’s 62. In other words, she will lose by not winning enough. Read more on Senator Clinton’s Iron Grip On Texas Loosens…
 

What EVIL Tactics Will Clinton Employ Now?

Hooray for Hillary — she won Texas and Ohio yesterday but made absolutely no inroads into Obama’s insurmountable pledged delegate lead! What’s next? According to everyone’s favorite senior adviser Harold Ickes, pledged delegates don’t matter, because they are not bound and will vote for Clinton when Obama is revealed to be behind 9/11 & terror. Read more on What EVIL Tactics Will Clinton Employ Now?…
 

John McCain Is President of Republicans!

MSNBC and the AP and most other people are projecting that with tonight’s victories, John McCain will top 1,200 delegates. Since the Republican nominee only needs 1,191 delegates, John McCain has won the Republicans who hate him. Congrats to WALNUTS! We loathe you. Read more on John McCain Is President of Republicans!…