Wonkette

• SPOT THE POOP JOKE IN THIS CLEVER POST: Ew gross: “‘A successful dump,’ [Joe Biden] shouted from his car window when asked if he had anything to report. Earlier, he left with a pile of logs in the back of his truck.” Joe Biden is truly a “regular” guy, wokka wokka!!! [The Hotline]

Let’s review the list of people who will not be Barack Obama’s running mate: Hillary Clinton, because she would poison him; Jack Reed, because he isn’t interested; Tim Kaine, because of the eyebrows; and Joan Allen, because of her rumored college sex orgy. Now there is only one human left on the planet who meets Barack Obama’s stringent requirements of gravitas, foreign policy chops, and hair plugs… MORE »

Senator Joe Biden offers precisely two things in great abundance: hair plugs and talking. And recently, he has been talking about foreign policy, national security, and the number of offices he could hold in an Obama administration. He will be Secretary of State, Vice President, Chief Gigolo, Assistant Resident Window-Washer, and anything else a President Obama wants him to be. MORE »

* “It was worth the trip to “Delaware’s Largest Thrift Store” just for the perfectly broken-in brown leather shoulderbag I found for $3.99; the store is large and clean and what it lacks in shoes and jewelry (I recognized a few pairs from LAST summer, and the accessories section seems to have disappeared), it more than makes up for in tops, dresses, and nightgowns perfect for wearing in place of dresses.” [Brightest Young Things]
* Nobody really gives a fuck about the iPhone in Washington. [DCist]
* “The Rat Killing Hawk of Red Cross Square” strikes, raining rodent body parts throughout the streets. [Herb of DC]
* “Seared sea scallops, garlic mashed potatoes and chardonnay sauce at Corduroy (bonus with buffalo mozzarella porcupine appetizer).” [metrocurean]

Just a few months ago, ex-Senator George Allen’s love for the Confederacy and outrageous racism seemed almost quaint. Macaca was like a bridge to the mid-19th Century … with Robert Byrd standing on the other shore, resplendent in his Exalted Cyclops dunce cap and flowing robes.

But the KKK is back and better than ever! Learn how an old worn-out racist movement can “re-brand” itself for a New Era in which the main threat to white Americans is a Mexican guy picking strawberries for $5 an hour … after the jump.

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Hello, I’m Joe Biden, and I’d like to wish you all a very happy Black History Month. As some of you may know, some of my best friends are black, and I appreciate the opportunity to celebrate them each and every year for 28, and occasionally 29 days.

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The Senator from Delware (yes, they get Senators for some reason) continues his quixotic run for the Presidency by turning into a weird racist. MORE »

Do you have Biden ‘08 fever yet? He sure does. And he’s not at all worried about wooing voters in the South.

Jabberin’ Joe appeared on Fox News Sunday and amused all 73 viewers when he gave his southern-fried bonafides:

“You don’t know my state. My state was a slave state. My state is a border state. My state has the eighth-largest black population in the country. My state is anything from a Northeast liberal state.”

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