Tag Archives: defense spending

  but that's socialism

GOP Lawmaker Wants To Raise Taxes Now For Some Reason (Hint: War)

Add another tally to the “Yes” column on the “Is 2012 the year of the Apocalypse?” score sheet: a Republican in Congress has discovered the virtues of “revenue increases,” the polite society term for the more vulgar swear “tax hikes.” Who is the lucky apostate? Why, it’s the Senate’s favorite old Southern belle Miss Lindsey Graham, who is wilting like a sun-starved flower over the impending $600 billion in automatic budget cuts that the Pentagon will face starting next year if Congress does not act to reverse the sequestration agreement from last fall’s Budget Control Act (which also cuts an equal amount from domestic programs, as a punishment to the country for electing intransigent nuts to Congress). So, will Congress act? Will they get together and agree on places where budget cuts can be made to avoid sequestration without increasing the deficit? Lindsey Graham has your answer to these questions: NO. NOW RAISE TAXES. Read more on GOP Lawmaker Wants To Raise Taxes Now For Some Reason (Hint: War)…
  pretty please

GOP Senators Beg Frugal Pentagon to Request More Expensive War Toys

A group of weepy warlords in the Senate including ol’ Jowls McGoo Joe Lieberman are busily soiling their Depends over a $487 billion planned reduction in defense spending over the next decade that was included in the White House fiscal year 2013 budget. But know who is not having a whiny meltdown over the proposed cuts? The people in charge of the military are not! Because they helped to design the cuts, along with the White House. And this is trying the patience of various Republican Senator humans and Joe Lieberman who refuse to have their naps until everyone goes back to the old system of military appropriations, where the Pentagon sends over its thirty-mile long list of every wish it ever had scribbled in blood collected from Afghan corpses and Congress says sure, the FDA does not really need to screen baby formula for arsenic this year. That system worked so well! Read more on GOP Senators Beg Frugal Pentagon to Request More Expensive War Toys…
  great legislative achievements

House GOP Earning Salary Today Worrying About Strip Clubs

Oh how thoughtful, House Republicans are bringing to the floor today a bill to close some kind of sexy-sounding “strip-club loophole” in what, campaign spending disclosure rules or something? No? NO. Oh right, it’s a bill meant to stop all the silly misbehaving poors from spending their welfare money at strip clubs. No wonder they aren’t out getting jobs! Please, bill sponsor Rep. Charles Boustany Jr., tell us more about this terrifying epidemic of taxpayer waste! Read more on House GOP Earning Salary Today Worrying About Strip Clubs…
  the next kissinger

Why Does Herman Cain Think China Is North Korea?

The lamestream media has bedeviled Herman Cain with another one of its merciless “gotcha” questions: how does the Herman Cain view China’s military? Aww, shit…. hm. They’re bad? They’re just really bad, super seriously awful and peace, Herman wants peace, so more money for more American bombs, for peace, America is awesome, we rule, God, is this question over yet? OH WAIT, and, uh, this: we must prevent them from getting nukes! They want nukes, like all filthy unsmiling communists, according to “indications.” There, is that enough of a platform? Sure, sort of, if he were talking about North Korea. China has had nuclear weapons since 1964. Read more on Why Does Herman Cain Think China Is North Korea?…
  the war on what exactly?

Fancy Fighter Jets Costing Nation Zillions of Dollars Do Not Work

So what do these double super killer stealth F-35 fighter jets go for these days? A few million dollars? A hundred million? A BILLION DOLLARS? No, none of those things. It is actually more like, “a trillion dollars.” We were going to do a cute listicle of “things that are less expensive and yet crucially able to employ/feed/educate a large quantity of humans more than a fighter jet,” but you cannot do that list because everything is cheaper than a F-35 Lightning II fighter jet program. Everything on Earth. YOU CAN BUY AUSTRALIA for less than this fighter jet program. Oh boohoo, more liberal outrage over the insane costs of a good killing machine. OH WAIT: they do not actually work. Haha, do they ever work? No, they are hanging out in Texas like a bunch of sad garden gnomes polluting the landscape with their tacky, trillion-dollar existence. Read more on Fancy Fighter Jets Costing Nation Zillions of Dollars Do Not Work…
  visible boehner

Shutdown-Averting ‘Budget Package’ Actually Increases Spending This Year

Last November, the Teabaggers won the House for the Republicans, which meant government spending and all post-18th century bureaucracy was gone forever, yay. Except, that big budget deal that saved us all from government shutdown? It’s going to make the government spend more money this year than if spending had just been left alone, according to the Congressional Budget Office. But that’s because of defense spending, which shouldn’t count, as there can never be too much defense spending. Republicans are still on track to erase Washington, D.C. and its suburbs from the map, right? Read more on Shutdown-Averting ‘Budget Package’ Actually Increases Spending This Year…
  poor walnuts

Lt. Col.: Army Manipulated Senators With Psy-Ops

According to Rolling Stone, a music periodical primarily concerned with the U.S. military, a lieutenant general serving in Afghanistan, William Caldwell, ordered a “psychological operations” team to target U.S. senators and other “VIPs” visiting Afghanistan who met with him to “leverage the delegation for more funds” and “give us more people.” Apparently some senators are not always in favor of more defense spending at war. Some you have to do research on and try to mess with their brains so they’ll do what you want. “What do I have to plant inside their heads?” Caldwell reportedly said, like some sad middle-aged man entering a Criss Angel chatroom for the first time. So did it work? Well, the Senate is continually throwing money at training Afghan troops, what Caldwell wanted. So yeah, the old men who are our senators are pretty easy targets. Even though it’s illegal for the U.S. Army to do this to its own citizens. Read more on Lt. Col.: Army Manipulated Senators With Psy-Ops…
  worth as much as a-rod being fed popcorn?

Defense Spends $450,000 On Flying Over Football Stadium Closed Off To Sky

For absurdity, how about those four Navy F-18s flying over the stadium – with its retractable roof closed? Everybody inside could only see the planes on the stadium’s video screens. It was strictly a two-second beauty shot. Know what it cost taxpayers? I’ll tell you: $450,000. (The Navy justifies the expense by saying it’s good for recruiting.) Read more on Defense Spends $450,000 On Flying Over Football Stadium Closed Off To Sky…
  it's morning in america

Fiscal Commission: Smithsonian, Pandas To Blame For National Deficit

Your Wonkette recently suggested that our new Orange Overlord should privatize the Smithsonian, because that’s what Alexander Hamilton kept blogging about, in the Federalist Papers. Well, good things come to those who wait (for the co-chairs of the National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform to release their draft proposal)! Yes, this wise bipartisan commission of maggot-brained failures wants the government to “reduce funding to the Smithsonian and the National Park Service and allow the programs to offset the reduction through fees.” That’s not quite privatization, but the proposal also recommends severe cuts to Social Security, so it’s safe to say that reducing the deficit has already become a very successful bipartisan paint-huffing effort. Read more on Fiscal Commission: Smithsonian, Pandas To Blame For National Deficit… Read more on Fiscal Commission: Smithsonian, Pandas To Blame For National Deficit…
  vrooooom

Why Won’t Obama Let GE Build Its Awesome Airplane Engine?

We can all agree that we should cut down the deficit, right? And most rational people believe that the way to do this is to go through the budget line by line and remove wasteful liberal spending like taking kids to amusement parks that consume literally fractions of pennies out of each precious tax dollar! But Barack Obama is an “outside-the-box” thinker who’s actually looking at the defense budget, and the things it buys, like half a billion dollars worth of R&D for a jet engine that the Pentagon doesn’t want. Why is Obama trying to alienate the last company that still sort of likes him? Read more on Why Won’t Obama Let GE Build Its Awesome Airplane Engine?…
  it's morning in america

Rejected Pun Headlines: ‘Sorry Charlie,’ ‘Rangel Wrangles Ethics Charges,’ Etc.

Charlie Rangel is going on trial! Did you even know that Congress could put people on trial, for ethics violations? Well, they can, but they don’t usually, because most Congressfolk generally just say “Yeah, you caught me” and slink away in shame when the Ethics Committee points out their many moral failings. Not Charlie Rangel, though! He’s positive giddy at the prospect: “At long last, sunshine has pierced through this cloud that has been over my head for more than two years.” The last guy who had a trial like this in the house was Jim Traficant, and you remember how awesome that was. Read more on Rejected Pun Headlines: ‘Sorry Charlie,’ ‘Rangel Wrangles Ethics Charges,’ Etc…. Read more on Rejected Pun Headlines: ‘Sorry Charlie,’ ‘Rangel Wrangles Ethics Charges,’ Etc….
  lightning rod conservatives

Bill Kristol: Spend Money On Military, Not Fanciful Green Thingies

Just now your editors were having a little talky about our secret boyfriend, the New York Times’ token cross-dressing felcher Bill Kristol. “His column is boring and moderate this week,” said our Jim Newell. “He probably has some solid shit-eating lines, though.” And WALLAH, just like that, we found a nugget of silliness embedded at the very end of this kind of dull review of different strains of conservatism. Read more on Bill Kristol: Spend Money On Military, Not Fanciful Green Thingies…
 

Aw, Look! He’s Working!

George Bush is readying his veto crayon again this afternoon, this time for the defense policy bill. See, he sorta didn’t really read it before they passed it and it reverses a decree-thingie he did after Saddam fell which makes the new government not liable for the terrorist actions of the old (and thus kills a bunch of lawsuits). The new defense policy legislation, if passed, would reverse Bush’s decree and make the current not-particularly-stable Iraq government’s U.S.-denominated assets subject to lawsuits and immediate freezes. The Iraqis threatened to withdraw their money and so Bush is going to veto the bill. Like, seriously? How fucked is our financial system if the Iraq government can threaten to withdraw their presumably limited funds from our financial sector and Bushie gets out the veto crayon for a defense bill? Shit. [Washington Post] Read more on Aw, Look! He’s Working!…