defense spending
GOP Senators Beg Frugal Pentagon to Request More Expensive War Toys
A group of weepy warlords in the Senate including ol’ Jowls McGoo Joe Lieberman are busily soiling their Depends over a $487 billion planned reduction in defense spending over the next decade that was included in the White House fiscal year 2013 budget. But know who is not having a whiny meltdown over the proposed [...]
House GOP Earning Salary Today Worrying About Strip Clubs
Oh how thoughtful, House Republicans are bringing to the floor today a bill to close some kind of sexy-sounding “strip-club loophole” in what, campaign spending disclosure rules or something? No? NO. Oh right, it’s a bill meant to stop all the silly misbehaving poors from spending their welfare money at strip clubs. No wonder they [...]
Fancy Fighter Jets Costing Nation Zillions of Dollars Do Not Work
So what do these double super killer stealth F-35 fighter jets go for these days? A few million dollars? A hundred million? A BILLION DOLLARS? No, none of those things. It is actually more like, “a trillion dollars.” We were going to do a cute listicle of “things that are less expensive and yet crucially [...]
Shutdown-Averting ‘Budget Package’ Actually Increases Spending This Year
Last November, the Teabaggers won the House for the Republicans, which meant government spending and all post-18th century bureaucracy was gone forever, yay. Except, that big budget deal that saved us all from government shutdown? It’s going to make the government spend more money this year than if spending had just been left alone, according [...]
Lt. Col.: Army Manipulated Senators With Psy-Ops
According to Rolling Stone, a music periodical primarily concerned with the U.S. military, a lieutenant general serving in Afghanistan, William Caldwell, ordered a “psychological operations” team to target U.S. senators and other “VIPs” visiting Afghanistan who met with him to “leverage the delegation for more funds” and “give us more people.” Apparently some senators are [...]
Defense Spends $450,000 On Flying Over Football Stadium Closed Off To Sky
For absurdity, how about those four Navy F-18s flying over the stadium – with its retractable roof closed? Everybody inside could only see the planes on the stadium’s video screens. It was strictly a two-second beauty shot. Know what it cost taxpayers? I’ll tell you: $450,000. (The Navy justifies the expense by saying it’s good [...]
Fiscal Commission: Smithsonian, Pandas To Blame For National Deficit
Your Wonkette recently suggested that our new Orange Overlord should privatize the Smithsonian, because that’s what Alexander Hamilton kept blogging about, in the Federalist Papers. Well, good things come to those who wait (for the co-chairs of the National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform to release their draft proposal)! Yes, this wise bipartisan commission [...]
Why Won’t Obama Let GE Build Its Awesome Airplane Engine?
We can all agree that we should cut down the deficit, right? And most rational people believe that the way to do this is to go through the budget line by line and remove wasteful liberal spending like taking kids to amusement parks that consume literally fractions of pennies out of each precious tax dollar! [...]
Rejected Pun Headlines: ‘Sorry Charlie,’ ‘Rangel Wrangles Ethics Charges,’ Etc.
Charlie Rangel is going on trial! Did you even know that Congress could put people on trial, for ethics violations? Well, they can, but they don’t usually, because most Congressfolk generally just say “Yeah, you caught me” and slink away in shame when the Ethics Committee points out their many moral failings. Not Charlie Rangel, [...]
Bill Kristol: Spend Money On Military, Not Fanciful Green Thingies
Just now your editors were having a little talky about our secret boyfriend, the New York Times’ token cross-dressing felcher Bill Kristol. “His column is boring and moderate this week,” said our Jim Newell. “He probably has some solid shit-eating lines, though.” And WALLAH, just like that, we found a nugget of silliness embedded at [...]
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