Eric Cantor’s Boner wasn’t the only guest of honor at Barack Obama’s press conference today! John McCain was there too, and Barack Obama called on him to talk about the defense budget, leading to McCain’s bizarre swipe at the Presidential Helicopter he will never have: “…your helicopter is now going to cost as much as Air Force One. I don’t think that there’s any more graphic demonstration of how good ideas have — have cost taxpayers an enormous amount of money.” Then Obama says a number of likable things that make John McCain look both petty and subservient. [YouTube, The Plank]

• GATES TO STAY AT DEFENSE: Politico hears from officials from both parties that Barack Obama asked Bob “Who?” Gates to stay on as Defense Secretary, and Gates has accepted. So there’s your Token Republican cabinet member! Now Barry’s free to name Susan Sarandon to head Veterans Affairs, or whatever he wants. As for Gates: he could be a horrible warlord for all we know, but the most important thing is that he’s not fussy, and that’s a rare trait in this egocentric town of whiny bitches. And Gates even broke Bush administration decorum by exhibiting flairs of nuanced thinking every now and then. He and Obama will be best friends. [Politico]

What the hell’s wrong with Bob Gates, the Defense Secretary no one ever talks about? Recently he’s been running his yap with all sorts of liberal Democrat treasonspeak — just like Barack Obama, a known member of Hamas and Hezbollah and the Weather Underground. Apparently he *doesn’t* want to bomb Iran or Syria, or even France! Not only that, he says it’s counterproductive to even consider bombing these countries that need to be bombed. MORE »

Former Defense Department torture-lover and the fucking stupidest person on the face of the earth, Douglas Feith, has lost his pwecious teaching position at the prestigious Catholic university, Georgetown. What a fucking loser! Everyone point at the pathetic fucking loser and laugh, ha ha, just like that! The best part of the story is this college reporter’s opening sentence: “Douglas Feith (LAW ‘78) may not have devised an exit strategy for the U.S. occupation of Iraq, but according to the former Bush administration official, a group of Georgetown professors apparently had no trouble coming up with an exit strategy for him.” Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, that Feith — what a Dingleberry McDingus! [The Hoya]

*ICE 9/11 STORM INJURES AMERICAN HERO:* “Defense Secretary Robert Gates fractured his right arm in a fall on an icy step at his home in Washington, D.C., and was treated Wednesday at Bethesda Naval Medical Center, the Pentagon said.” Too bad it wasn’t Donald Rumsfeld. Wait, who is Bob Gates? [AP/Yahoo]

The US Military held a super-fun Green Zone powerpoint presentation for reporters this weekend, trying to convince them that Iran was responsible for some of the deadliest attacks in Iraq over the last couple years. Their proof: Pictures that were quite damning, once their significance was explained by the US military. There was everything from PVC tubing that (the military said) proved Iranian involvement to mortar shells that (the military said) proved Iranian involvement. Some bloggers question the western text on the weapons, but the military has a ready explanation even for that: MORE »

When we got an email from the Department of Defense’s press office headlined “Medics Clear Rats From Saddam Hussein’s Bunker,” we knew we had just the story to round out a half-day of posting on the afternoon before a Ford day weekend. But when we went to look for the promised pictures of rats in Saddam Hussein’s bunker, we found only a 404. MORE »

Here’s your potential new Secretary of Defense. Thanks again, Citizen Media! MORE »

• British police arrested 21 people in connection with a plot to smuggle liquid explosives onto airliners traveling between London and the US. Americans may no longer bring liquids or gels onto planes. If traveling, expect delays. [NYT, WP, WP]

• Joe Lieberman’s independent run for reelection may or may not help other Democratic races in the state of Connecticut. Meanwhile, Democratic leaders (in a “rare show of unity”) embraced Ned Lamont. [NYT, [WP]
• “David A. Burtt II, director of the Counterintelligence Field Activity, the Defense Department’s newest intelligence agency whose contracts based on congressional earmarks are under investigation by the Pentagon and federal prosecutors, told his staff yesterday that he and his deputy director will resign at the end of the month.” [WP]
• Condoleezza Rice’s attempts at solving the current Israeli/Lebanese conflict are hindered by her need to please different and warring ideological sides of the Bush administration’s foreign policy team. [NYT]
• A membo by Democratic members of the House Intelligence Committee could cause the Duke Cunningham corruption case to widen further. [LAT]

Oh, Christ. MORE »

* John Negroponte will get Bill Frist’s phone records when he pries them from his cold dead hands! [Rude Pundit] MORE »