Tag Archives: default

 

The Debt Ceiling: Is Michele Bachmann Taking Jan Brewer’s Meds?

Could it be that Michele Bachmann has been visiting Jan Brewer’s medicine cabinet? As we noted in our year-end review, the Arizona governor actually said and did some pretty sane stuff in the last year; now it almost looks as if several other prominent teabaggers are engaged in similar flirtations with reality. Just look at this National Journal article about the prospects for a clean Debt Ceiling bill — Bachmann, who like other House Republicans seemed willing to hold a gun to the nation’s head last fall, is not quite going so far as to actually support a clean debt ceiling increase, but she’s also not holding hands with other Tea Party Caucus members and steering the economy toward a cliff this time around: “What I’ve heard from other members,” Bachmann says, “is that this is not going to be the hill that they’re going to die on.” “You have to know when to hold them and you have to know when to fold them,” added Bachmann, who isn’t advocating for a clean debt-ceiling bill. “You just need to be wise to know when to have political fights. It isn’t that our allegiance to principles have changed; it hasn’t at all. You just need to know when your opportunities are and when to exercise your leverage.” Why, that sounds incredibly reasonable and measured, Rep. Bachmann. What’s your dosage, incidentally? Read more on The Debt Ceiling: Is Michele Bachmann Taking Jan Brewer’s Meds?…
 

Michele Bachmann Has A Sad Because Government Reopened

Poor Michele Bachmann needs a hug. She called the reopening of the federal government after a two week shutdown “a very sad day,” because mean old Barack Obama “got 100 percent of what he wanted” — you know, a functioning government, and no worldwide economic meltdown due to a debt default. We ask you, is that fair, that he should get all of his dreams, while Michele Bachmann gets nothing but her share of the blame for two weeks of a meaningless tantrum? It’s as if Obama doesn’t want to take any responsibility at all for the House Republicans’ plan to shut down the government. Read more on Michele Bachmann Has A Sad Because Government Reopened…
 

Sarah Palin Doubts Barack Obama Has Ever Pulled Lemonade Out Of His Bootstraps

On her FaceSpace page yesterday, Sarah Palin posted this photo of her son and nephew from about 15 years ago, gettin’ all mavericky and free-enterprisey one summer. She had this note: When life gives you lemons, at this point make margaritas. Caving on debt could drive one to drink. This photo of my son and nephew ran in our local newspaper about 15 years ago. I’m betting dollars to doughnuts our president skipped this universal childhood lesson in Economics 101, and perhaps that explains his problem understanding the tragedy to befall us as America drowns in debt. Running a lemonade stand teaches you to progress by the sweat of your brow and live within your means. It taught these boys that it was unacceptable and self-defeating to keep coming back to mama for more money for ingredients needed to concoct a product to sell to the public. Gosh that’s wise! And there’s no way that Barack Obama ever ran a lemonade stand, seeing as how he is Not Really American — he probably had a Roast Dog stand, haw-haw! Also, too, what’s that you’re saying about the economic lessons of lemonade stands? Read more on Sarah Palin Doubts Barack Obama Has Ever Pulled Lemonade Out Of His Bootstraps…
 

Professor Barack Obama’s Outrageous ‘Get Your Butts Back To Work’ Speech Divisive, Hurtful, Professor-y

OMG you guys, this Professor Barack Q. Obama Esquire, PhD., is just so mean, and professory, the way he’s lecturing and rubbing Republicans’ faces in their loss of the 2013 Government Shutdown Bowl. The partisan rhetoric was just overwhelmingly cruel, as the Tyrant told Republicans: “You don’t like a particular policy or a particular president? Then argue for your position. Go out there win an election… Push to change it. But don’t break it. Don’t break what our predecessors spent over two centuries building. That’s not being faithful to what this country’s about.” What’s worse, now he’s talking about passing a budget, immigration, and a farm bill, as if it’s Congress’s job to pass legislation, rather than to repeal it. Did this man even pass high-school civics in whatever Pakistani madrassa he attended? Read more on Professor Barack Obama’s Outrageous ‘Get Your Butts Back To Work’ Speech Divisive, Hurtful, Professor-y…
 

Our Long National Nightmare Put Off A Few Months As Debt Ceiling Raised, Government Funded

On this momentous occasion of the worst possible thing not happening, let’s not concern ourselves overmuch with winners (Democrats, America) and losers (the Tea Party, rank idiocy). Instead, let’s celebrate. Government by extortion has been rejected. A global financial panic has been averted, the United States retains its role as an economic leader, and the dollar remains the world’s reserve currency — for now. Maybe Fitch will still downgrade our credit rating, but who cares? When Standard & Poor’s downgraded us in 2011, borrowing costs actually fell, remember that? Oh, and the same thing happened in Italy. It’s almost as though people don’t trust the judgments of the credit rating agencies who said subprime-backed securities were AAA Would Invest Again can’t-miss licenses to print money. Weird… Where were we? Oh yeah. Democrats win! America wins! Tea Party loses! Ted Cruz 2016! Read more on Our Long National Nightmare Put Off A Few Months As Debt Ceiling Raised, Government Funded…
 

GOP Consultant Alex Castellanos: Ted Cruz Is Doing Bestiality On Poor Little Bunnies

Alex Castellanos, the Cuban American GOP consultant, has correctly identified Ted Cruz’s problem: he can’t stop fucking animals. However! Alex Castellanos was incorrect when he claimed Ted Cruz was doing sex on poor defenseless bunnies. As we all know, Ted Cruz is fucking that chicken. Read more on GOP Consultant Alex Castellanos: Ted Cruz Is Doing Bestiality On Poor Little Bunnies…
 

Sarah Palin Has ‘Unimpeachable’ Logic (GET IT?) About Why We Should Impeach The President

Sarah Palin has been having a very good week! First, she got to star in the “gamechanging” rally of 200 lunatics #occupying the WWII Memorial and throwing their Barrycades everywhere. Sharing a speaker’s slot with Larry Klayman, noted opponent of Obama’s White Slavery, means she is still completely relevant! Now, an even better thing has happened than getting to stand in front of simple nimrods who are paying attention to her; she has made a thought in her brain, and it actually makes sense. We defy you to find a hole in Sarah Palin’s logic about why the prezzy will be impeached. (Spoiler alert: You can’t! It is that airtight!) Read more on Sarah Palin Has ‘Unimpeachable’ Logic (GET IT?) About Why We Should Impeach The President…
 

Your Morning Default Wonkdate: If You Have Not Yet Laid In A Supply Of Survival Seeds, You Should Probably Do That

Because we are terrible nerds, our mental health breaks from our day job on Tuesday consisted of scrolling through our Twitter feed looking for news about the impending debt default and occasionally hitting ourselves in the face with a hammer. Because holy sobbing Majority Leader was Tuesday ever nuts. Let us see if we can sum it up before we feel the need to pick up that hammer again and not stop with the hitting until we pass out. Read more on Your Morning Default Wonkdate: If You Have Not Yet Laid In A Supply Of Survival Seeds, You Should Probably Do That…
 

Your Happy Nice Time Sounds From The Default!

We have heard there is some kind of politics thingie that is happening where one of the political “parties” is maybe going to end the entire universe if it does not get its way about a thing? We aren’t really sure how any of that works, giggle! Well, now some journalists are reporting that the “Republicans,” who are one of the only two parties represented in our system of government except for Bernie Sanders who is a communist from Vermont, are going to do a vote on the “government debt ceiling” that they have already been warned that our president, you may have heard of him, that handsome black guy?, has already said he will not sign because of how they are acting like Somali pirates. And then they are going to leave town maybe! And then someone on Twitter, some @7im fellow, tweeted this Liz Phair song, and the next 15 minutes of our life became quite obvious. READ MORE Read more on Your Happy Nice Time Sounds From The Default!…
 

Republican Party’s Favorability Hits All-Time Low, Proving That We Must Repeal Obamacare

You see that picture up there, with the jaggedy lines? It’s a “graph,” and it shows that 28% of Americans have a favorable view of the Republican Party, according to Gallup. Maybe you think that’s pretty good, considering that the Republican party can barely hide their contempt for most of America, and also that they’re wrong about everything, plus or minus a thing (maybe, sometimes). But it’s actually any party’s worst poll result in the 20 years since Gallup first sounded the depths of America’s hatred for the people they repeatedly vote into office. While we don’t know for sure, there’s good circumstantial evidence that Republicans’ historically low favorability is related to their refusal to fund the government unless Democrats let them make Obamacare worse. Say… all this talk of polls and approval has made us wonder: How are people liking their death panels so far? Read more on Republican Party’s Favorability Hits All-Time Low, Proving That We Must Repeal Obamacare…
 

If This South Carolina Rep. Doesn’t Pay His Bills, Why Should The U.S. Government?

South Carolina Congresscritter Mick Mulvaney is one of several Republicans who are very certain that allowing the October 17th debt limit deadline to pass would really be no big deal, because even though the U.S. has always paid its bills, that’s no reason that we always have to, right? What’s the worst that could happen, other than a little worldwide financial meltdown? Read more on If This South Carolina Rep. Doesn’t Pay His Bills, Why Should The U.S. Government?…
 

Erick Erickson: People Only Hate Us A Little More Than They Hate Democrats, So We Win The Shutdown!

Erick Erickson is obviously tired of Barack Obama getting all the credit for playing 11th-dimensional chess, so he’s going to give it a try. Of course, chess is hard, so he’ll start with eleventh-dimensional Hungry Hungry Hippos: Polling shows more Americans blame the GOP than Barack Obama. I think this means the GOP is winning. You’ll need to let me explain. Oh, please do, Erick, Son of Erick! We can hardly wait! Read more on Erick Erickson: People Only Hate Us A Little More Than They Hate Democrats, So We Win The Shutdown!…
 

John Boehner Lying Again

Oh, look! It’s Angry Boehner, and he is pretty darn angry at Barack Obama’s completely unfair, unreasonable demand that Republicans allow the government to start operating normally again, because that would be an “unconditional surrender,” and John Boehner does not surrender. At least not to anyone other than Eric Cantor. Or Ted Cruz maybe. Or Louie Gohmert we guess. Certainly not to some President. Read more on John Boehner Lying Again…
 

John Boehner May Have To Murder Economy After All To Save The Economy

Never mind those hints of reasonableness last week; John Boehner is back on the Tough Talk Trail now, and said this weekend that unless President Obama makes some concessions to the GOP, maybe we’ll just have to default on our debt after all. On ABC’s This Week, the House Speaker told George Stephanopoulos that he really hates the idea of allowing a debt default, but he might have to strangle the world economy to teach the President a lesson: BOEHNER: My goal here is not to have the United States default on its debt. My goal is to have a serious conversation about those things that are driving the deficit and the debt up and the president’s refusal to sit down and have a conversation about this is putting our nation. STEPHANOPOULOS: He continues to refuse to negotiate, the country is going to default? BOEHNER: That’s the path we’re on. The president canceled his trip to Asia. I assume — he wants to have a conversation. I decided to stay here in Washington this weekend. He knows what my phone number is. All he has to do is call. Why won’t Barry call? Why must John Boehner sit up late at night, wondering if Barry still cares? Why won’t he let the Republicans kill the Affordable Health Care Act just a little bit in exchange for not imploding the economy? Read more on John Boehner May Have To Murder Economy After All To Save The Economy…
 

John Boehner Hopes He Won’t Be Lashed Too Severely If He Rescues Economy From Default

We really hope that this New York Times story from Thursday is true: Speaker John A. Boehner has privately told Republican lawmakers anxious about fallout from the government shutdown that he would not allow a potentially more crippling federal default … Mr. Boehner’s comments, recounted by multiple lawmakers, that he would use a combination of Republican and Democratic votes to increase the federal debt limit if necessary appeared aimed at reassuring his colleagues — and nervous financial markets — that he did not intend to let the economic crisis spiral further out of control. It would be really nice to think that Orange Julius is willing to set aside the “Hastert Rule” that would normally only move bills to the Senate if they can be passed with a Republican majority; while it’s possible that the “Let’s crash America into a mountain to stop Obamacare” wing of the GOP might respond by taking away his Speakership (Speakerdom? Speakerhood? Speakercy?), we should not discount the possibility that he might also look forward to no longer trying to ride herd over the crazies in his own party. Read more on John Boehner Hopes He Won’t Be Lashed Too Severely If He Rescues Economy From Default…
 

Fear Not, Lovers Of Chaos And Dysfunction: House GOP Is Full Speed Ahead On Shutdown, Debt Default

For a minute, we were worried that everything was going to be fine: The House planned to vote on a clean Continuing Resolution that would avoid a shutdown and fund the government through December, splitting off the usual poison pill of de-funding Obamacare into a separate resolution for the Senate to laugh at. Read more on Fear Not, Lovers Of Chaos And Dysfunction: House GOP Is Full Speed Ahead On Shutdown, Debt Default…
 

[Delta] House Teabaggers Plan Gingrich-Worthy Stupid And Futile Gesture

A guest post from your comrade Fakakta South. Remember when you were a kid playing a board game, maybe Checkers or “Life” if you were kinda dumb, or chess maybe if you were a nerd, and there was that one kid who, if he got way behind and saw he couldn’t win, would throw a tantrum and just toss the board up in the air and scatter all the pieces and say “this game is stupid anyway”? Hopefully that kid is now in prison after the police finally found out where all those missing hookers wound up, tossed up into his crawlspace. But sadly, not all of our budding sociopathics wind up as serial killers or senators’ sons harassing waitresses on airplanes. Some of them become tea-bagging members of Congress and now, because of them, the historically terrible House Speaker John Boehner has to meet with his “leadership team” today. It has, by unchallenged House Speaker electoring, fallen to the Great Drunken Crying Orange to figure out how to deal with these people, and with mastermind precision, the man who was much more adept at delivering checks to his friends on the house floor, must somehow appear understanding of how good defaulting on already incurred debt would feel, while simultaneously explaining just how wretchedly, apocalyptically bad actual default would be. So! What to do in tragicomically serious times like these? Of course – shut it down like a fake rape pregnancy. Read more on [Delta] House Teabaggers Plan Gingrich-Worthy Stupid And Futile Gesture…
 

Just In Time For U.S. Default, U.S. Recession Gets Much Worse

While the Republicans try to force a default of the American Nation with such tactics as “scholarship grants are for communists,” the Democrats are engaged in an exciting game of catch-up. “Oh,” Obama might say, looking thoughtfully at his hands, “Pell Grants are communist? Well then, I offer a compromise of shutting down Medicare and turning our National Parks into private endangered-species hunting camps run by Ted Nugent. What else can we do?” Meanwhile, the U.S. Economy is rolling along — rolling down, fast. Turns out the 2008-2009 recession was far worse than economists could comprehend at the time, even though it was very clear to actual working people that we had plunged into a long and perhaps permanent downturn. And while economists are still pretending the “recovery” is something real and not just more double-your-money fun for America’s millionaires and billionaires, they’re finally admitting that once they fudge their numbers another percent, we’re actually already in a second recession. Read more on Just In Time For U.S. Default, U.S. Recession Gets Much Worse…
 

Obama & Boehner Argue Details of Dismantling U.S. Government

Barack Obama interrupted whatever Americans were watching on their teevees tonight to give an important update regarding the impending bankruptcy of the United States and the decades-long, bloody chaos and societal decay that will follow. Why is he such a Glum Gladys? Because despite agreeing to almost everything the extremist corporate right wing has demanded, there are still a few “entitlements” that jaundiced alcoholic errand boy John Boehner needs to also eliminate so that his overlords don’t get angry and maybe cut off his boozebag. For example, there are still some limited “Social Security” and “Medicare” programs remaining in effect, under Ronald Reagan Junior’s Barack Obama’s capitulation plan. So, the United States government will probably default on its gazillions of national debt, and all the sick people and old people who aren’t part of the lucky-ducky 1/3 of Americans completely covered by private health insurance will be crowded into self storage facility parking lots, to die. And schools will all close, and interest rates will shoot up to 27% for mortgages and 49% for credit cards, and Harry Potter will be killed by Voldemort, who will also strangle the ghost of Jesus with a bloodied American flag and then tenderly fellate the Koch Brothers, internally, with His quadruple rows of poison fish teeth. Welcome to the Era of Long Pain. Read more on Obama & Boehner Argue Details of Dismantling U.S. Government…