Scooter Libby Loves Tom Cruise!
Thursday, January 25th, 2007
What’s a Bush Administration trial without a dose of Scientology? A trial without Tom Cruise, that’s what!
According to testimony in Scooter Libby’s trial, he was super proud of having met Tom Cruise and former beard Penelope Cruz back in 2003. Cruise was in Washington trying to get L. Ron Hubbard elected as God, and Libby was more than happy to meet the tiny movie star.
Libby wasn’t the only Bush Administration bigshot anxious to make Cruise’s dreams come true. Read all the xenutastic details, after the jump.
Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings appeared on Celebrity Jeopardy last night. She lost. By a lot. This screenshot comes just after the end of the Double Jeopardy round, when the imminent loss was most painfully apparent. She lost to (in the words of outraged Wonkette emailers) either “David St. Hubbins of Spinal Tap” or “Lenny from Laverne and Shirley” (better those two than Nigel Tufnel and Squiggy, we suppose). Two of those emails are reprinted after the jump.
When people who’ve been naked on the cover of Vanity Fair talk politics, America listens — how else do you think we got into Iraq but for Demi Moore’s tireless lobbying? Today’s critic of the administration: Scarlett Johansson. The popular-but-not-really-that-good actress thinks the President has unrealistic views of sex. Not the kind of unrealistic views propagated by Johansson’s cartoonishly voluptuous figure and breathy sex-kitten public persona, but the kind where no one uses birth control or has sex outside of marriage. 
HBO’s got a new documentary all about how you might as well stay home Tuesday because the vote totals were probably programmed in the e-voting machines months ago. The movie premieres Thursday night. 