decline & fall
One reason Americans were denied the cleansing vision of the last U.S. diplomats fleeing Baghdad by helicopter is because, haha, we sort of left the diplomats there — all 16,000 State Department personnel and military contractors and poorly disguised CIA torture spies and oil company representatives. But now, with “hard times” or whatever the current [...]
Things have not been going so well for America’s space program. We had a sad when we read about how the Obama Administration basically told Barack he could not have any exciting or inspirational “moon shot” programs, because everything had to go to Wall Street (heh heh). So not only did “moon shot”-style inspirational programs [...]
Those NMA.tv Taiwanese animations were all fun and games when they were about idiot Teabaggers and Sarah Palin being a fat teen-aged stripper or whatever. But now that the New York Times has suggested that Washington “pay off” its debt to China by letting China invade and take over Taiwan, well now the videos have [...]
Immigrants in this country are facing a whole list of problems these days, one of those problems being, of course, the insane people and laws that seek to force them out of their homes. Luckily, the timing on this is perfect, because just as much as immigrants need new, non-threatening places to live, America’s Worst [...]
Hello fiends! Your editor is back tonight to do some hot Reagan Death Zombie liveblogging, and your other editor will be here later to take over, and if there was EVER a week to come back to Wonkette and “mind the gap” or whatever, this is a very bad one indeed. TONIGHT: Eight sociopaths suffering [...]
Some teabagger Republicans in the Texas legislature noticed on Newsmax or whatever that Texas is currently on fire, the whole state. And then they heard something about firefighters apparently trying to fight these catastrophic fires, which is communistic, so the Texas Forest Service will have its current low budget slashed by another third — $34 [...]
Monstrous trash-cable crime-porn death-beast Nancy Grace is joining the noxious reality-celeb ritual gyration glitter program Dancing With the Stars. This is Living Proof that Satan is real and amongst us, today. Americans watch THIRTY-SIX HOURS OF TEEVEE per week, every week, on their slow Rascal-assisted journey to the Medicare Crematorium, so it’s very likely that [...]
Sometimes there is a Cracker Jack™-style surprise waiting at the very bottom of another inane New York Times feature about the lifestyles and murderous rampages of America’s political leaders. And your beloved former Wonkette editor Jim Newell found just such a weird treat at the end of this bloodthirsty insanity about Dick Cheney bragging how [...]
Just weeks after the American government made its surprise announcement that the Statue of Liberty would be closing for many years, yesterday’s earthquake in Washington D.C. has led to the “indefinite closure” of the iconic Washington Monument. The marble phallus would have to topple over in an aftershock to provide a more fitting visual narrative [...]
America’s half-century of manned spaceflight came to a crashing end (actually a safe landing) today as the space shuttle Atlantis completed the final flight of the entire NASA program. In a nation that refuses to care for its sick and find work for its tens of millions of idle people, sending a 1970s low-orbit glider [...]
Wisconsin’s GOP/teabagger leadership broke the backs of the labor unions! (Until it’s all overturned in court, months or years after the Great Civil War that will hopefully reduce America to a Great Smoking Rubble Pit between Canada and Mexico.) Here’s the news bulletin: “Wisconsin lawmakers have voted to strip nearly all collective bargaining rights from [...]
How many people have been blown up and shot and otherwise violently killed in the American invasion and eight-year U.S. occupation of Iraq, so far? We know the exact numbers of U.S. military dead and injured (4,436 dead and 32,009 wounded) and have a vague idea of “reported Iraqi deaths” (between 100,000 and 109,000), and [...]
When your editor was a child, he used to listen to Warren Zevon’s Mohammed’s Radio and think, “Well we won’t have to be lining up around the block for Arab gasoline when I’m grown up, because we will live in spaceships and I will have sex with Linda Ronstadt all the time, like in that [...]
A sad new study makes that whole “DREAM Act” defeat a little more tragic: More than 80% of Americans trying to join the Army can’t meet the very low minimum requirements. The first 75% gets immediately disqualified “because they are physically unfit, have a criminal record or didn’t graduate high school.” That second pool is [...]
