Tag: debt ceiling

Guns Don’t Kill People. Blah Blah Blah Blah. Wonkagenda For Wed., June 14, 2017

Some asshole is shooting at congressmen, Zombie TrumpCare lurks in the shadows of the Senate, and Elizabeth Warren wants to give poor people hearing aids. Your morning news brief!

Comey, Come Out To Play-ay! Wonkagenda For Wed., March 15, 2017

Senators want James Comey to come out and play, Rachel Maddow broke the Internet, and TrumpCare is DOA! Your morning news brief!
RNC Chair Reince Priebus

Dear RNC: Stop Bitching About Last Night’s Debate Questions. You Sound Like A Idiot.

Wednesday night's (very dumb) CNBC Republican debate had barely ended before the RNC and individual campaigns were whining and kvetching -- to reporters, their moms, to Pinterest, and everywhere else -- that the questions were SO MUCH UNFAIRNESS to the brilliant...
Obviously

The Top 29 Things The ‘D’ In Paul Ryan’s New Fancy Speaker Name Stands For

HEY LADIES, big news! Paul Ryan is officially the Republican Party's nominee for new doomed speaker of the House of Representatives. (The full House will vote for him on Thursday; Democrats are expected to support the GOP's choice, if...

Dear Republicans, Could You Please Stop Crying And Do Your Jobs For Five Minutes?

With all of the drunk-quitting and SEX SCANDALS and absolute all-out civil war DRAMA in the Republican Party, and grown-ass men crying (literally, CRYING!) because the nihilist wing of the party is so mean, you probably forgot there's this small...
thought i gave a shit, didn't ya?!

Why John Boehner Is A Drunken Numbnuts Coward: A Wonksplainer

John Boehner is the worst kind of weak-willed pansy-ass yellow-bellied coward in modern politics. His recent decision to resign reeks not of courage, but of the lowest, basest, cowardly lack of balls since Sir Robin ran away. The bullshit...

Congress Sucks Harder Than Your Mom: The Debt Ceiling, Wonksplained

It’s that time of year again, kids! The leaves are turning, students are back in school, and Congress is threatening to drive our national car right over the fiscal cliff. Buckle up, because Republicans are already costing us millions...
Congress

Congress Planning New, Exciting Ways To Screw You In The Bottom This Fall

Raise your hand if you are about to get fucked over by Congress. (Hint: All of you should have a hand raised.) Now use the other hand to pour yourself a stiff drink, because you’re gonna need it. In September,...

‘Crazy,’ ‘Threatening’ Debt Ceiling Emails Coming From Inside The House! A Wonket Mystery Survey

We love a mystery! And this week's political mystery (apart from the continued popularity of Sarah Palin) is a real head-scratcher: In January, someone sent House Republicans mean anonymous emails promising DEEP HURTING for any any member of the...

John Boehner To Test Unconventional Debt Limit Strategy Of Not Being A Dick

Bad news for anyone who was looking forward to another stupid debt ceiling standoff: popular television personality and Speaker of the Whole House John Boehner says he will hold a House vote tomorrow to raise the borrowing limit of...

The Debt Ceiling: Is Michele Bachmann Taking Jan Brewer’s Meds?

Could it be that Michele Bachmann has been visiting Jan Brewer's medicine cabinet? As we noted in our year-end review, the Arizona governor actually said and did some pretty sane stuff in the last year; now it almost looks...

How Will Congress’s New Budget Murder You And Your Children? A Wonksplainer!

Hey Congress, watcha doing? Making laws and working hard, ahahahhaha, yeah right, pardon us and our humor. The House has already skipped town to go home and await the arrival of White Santa, and the Senate just finished voting...

Michele Bachmann Has A Sad Because Government Reopened

Poor Michele Bachmann needs a hug. She called the reopening of the federal government after a two week shutdown "a very sad day," because mean old Barack Obama “got 100 percent of what he wanted” -- you know, a...

Sarah Palin Doubts Barack Obama Has Ever Pulled Lemonade Out Of His Bootstraps

On her FaceSpace page yesterday, Sarah Palin posted this photo of her son and nephew from about 15 years ago, gettin' all mavericky and free-enterprisey one summer. She had this note: When life gives you lemons, at this point make...

Harry Reid Is Your New Grandmaster Of Senate Chess

Harry Reid is not perfect, as he'll be the first to tell you. Second to tell you will be your Wonket, your Wonkette, and all of les enfants terrible who would leave comments here, if we allowed those. It's...

Professor Barack Obama’s Outrageous ‘Get Your Butts Back To Work’ Speech Divisive, Hurtful, Professor-y

OMG you guys, this Professor Barack Q. Obama Esquire, PhD., is just so mean, and professory, the way he's lecturing and rubbing Republicans' faces in their loss of the 2013 Government Shutdown Bowl. The partisan rhetoric was just overwhelmingly...