Wonkette

“The Senate Ethics Committee declined Thursday to investigate Sen. David Vitter, who was linked to an escort service whose owner was convicted in federal court and subsequently committed suicide.” But of course. [AP]

Making a sadder story just a little bit sadder still, today the cops have revealed D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s suicide note. Instead of blowing the lid of Dick Cheney’s particular perversions or David Vitter’s favorite style of Depends (logo of Elmo in wheelchair, masturbating), the two-page note is a heartbreakingly dull list of trivialities in grade-school girlish handwriting. MORE »

WHERE’S PALFREY’S BOX OF EVIDENCE? “On one trip down the stairs, she lugged a 2-foot-wide box she suggested carried materials related to her infamous court case. ‘This is my evidence,’ she told Strizack before carrying it out the door.” [Orlando Sentinel]

As America mourns the suspicious death of “D.C. Madam” Deborah Jeane Palfrey and gives up hope that anyone or anything can bring down Dick Cheney (or even David Vitter), let’s look back in anger at other recent suspicious suicides involving Our Federal Government. Did you know one of Palfrey’s escort-service contractor ladies also supposedly hanged herself? And what about all these FBI targets and mysterious CIA agents meeting weird, tragic ends? WTF, people, WTF? MORE »

And a sad story becomes sadder still: Deborah Jeane Palfrey was found hanging dead in a storage shed behind her mother’s Florida mobile home. Many pages of “handwritten suicide notes” were reportedly found in the shed by the Tarpon Springs police. Read the weird transcript, after the jump. MORE »

For the great crime of hooking up willing ladies with horny politicians, “D.C. Madam” Deborah Jeane Paltry was facing four to six years in prison, and today she was found dead in a shed behind her mother’s house in Florida. The men who paid for hookers through her service, such as Republican Senator David Vitter, have paid no price for their crimes, and they remain in power as the very people who make up the laws. Anyway, good-bye, Deborah Jeane. Though we didn’t know you at all, you had the grace to hold yourself while those around you crawled. They crawled out of the woodwork, and they whispered into your brain. They set you on the treadmill and then Dick Cheney had you killed. But Wonkette just sent your name to this moon spaceship, Deborah. Enjoy the ride to a better place! [Washington Post]

FAMOUS D.C. WHOREMONGER GUILTY OF SEX: This hot off the wire!: “D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey has been found guilty of racketeering and money laundering.” Palfrey was caught last year-ish for selling sexy ladies to David Vitter et al. from 1993 to 2006, and now she is going to jail while David Vitter is destroying parking lots with his Freedom. [WTOP]

Vitter is fucked. WTOP is reporting that alleged D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey, who is in no way is a self-promoter, wants to force Sen. David Vitter to tell a judge about his experiences with her escort service. We fully expect to finally hear Vitter wax poetic about late nights of dripping candle wax over nipples, Tabasco-soaked butt plugs and gentle pre-dawn floggings. Or, in other words, Tuesdays.
Madam Seeks to Subpoena Senator [WTOP] MORE »

Let us examine the case of Deborah Jeane Palfrey. So far, the shock-and-awe guy and one predictably hypocritical State department functionary have been outed as whoremongers. Who’s left? A “high-level CEO,” the head of a damn think tank, lobbyists, “military officials,” and a Bush administration economist. An economist? This is what passes for sexy intrigue now? MORE »

As a service to Wonkette readers, we boil down the press release from DC Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey (on which she misspells her own name) to what’s really necessary. MORE »