Tag: debates

So...very...tired...

Ben Carson: Running For President Is Haaaaard

Ben Carson sat down with the Washington Post a couple days before Christmas to let them know running for president isn't the nonstop party train of fun the average American might assume it is. But even though he's been...
Dang it, Bobby....

Bobby Jindal, You Have Failed. Go Home NOW!

Presidential "candidate" Gov. Bobby Jindal really needs to start thinking about packing it in, instead of spending all his time trying to blame absent fathers for school shootings or whining about persecuted Christians. Turns out Jindal is about as...
He makes the gays' days better. AND their nights.

BREAKING: Joe Biden Still Not Running For President

Despite CNN's recent love note to Vice President Joe Biden that it has voluntarily changed its own rules and will do all the backflips and blow all the kisses and do his laundry and wash his car if Old...

Meet Your New Michele Bachmann, Same As Your Old Michele Bachmann

While Yr Wonkette joins the rest of the nation in mourning the loss of Rep. Michele Bachmann's unique brand of political wisdom, we look forward to the arrival of her Republican successor in the House of Representatives, former talk...
The moment Rick Scott lost the election

In Florida Election, The Rick Just Hit The Fan

In what any Very Serious Journalist would consider a disqualifying move that requires the Republican Party to abandon the race completely, Florida Gov. Rick Scott refused to debate his Democratic opponent, the former Republican and former governor of Florida...

Fox Still Bitching About Presidential Debate, Now, In Late February 2013

Whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch it is Fox Nation, and they are never going to get over the SHOCKING MALFEASANCE that was Candy Crowley's LIEBRUL LYING LIES in the presidential debate -- you remember the one? Please proceed,...

Mitt Romney Iz In Ur Hurricane, Privatizin Ur FEMA

Hello to all of you in the Eastern third of this great country, currently hoarding boxes of wine and tarp and more boxes of wine in order to hopefully get through Frankenstorm without killing your loved ones in a...

Candy Crowley Did, But Didn’t, But Actually Did Back Down From Correcting Mittens On Libya

Last night, human dishonesty machine Mitt Romney lied about Barack Obama not calling the attack on the Benghazi consulate an "act of terror" for fourteen days. Candy Crowley (or CanCrow, as the kids call her) corrected Mitt, because he...

Fox Nation Super-Stoked On Romney’s Domination Of Pre-Debate Coin-Toss

"Say," you're probably thinking. "That's a good-looking nickel. One of those saucy ones from 2005. You could use it to buy a piece of Double Bubble, or maybe you could put in the 'take a penny, leave...

Abusive Ogre Barack Obama Forces Hillary Clinton Into Taking Responsibility For Her Department

The Secretary of State is responsible for diplomatic security. The president is responsible for the Secretary of State. Yesterday, Hillary Clinton, who is the Secretary of State and incidentally the most powerful woman in the world, took responsibility for diplomatic...

America’s Favoritest Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Wins Re-Election With Spy Photo Of Opponent Picking Out Dress

Sorry, guys, but GAME OVER. Illinois Congressman and paragon of personal responsibility Joe Walsh has handily defeated his opponent even with four weeks or whatever left to go. How did he do this? By holding up, during their debate,...

Hero Congressman Defends America From Commie Socialist Nuns

Nuns are so sweet and all, trying to help others and whatnot, but they really should maybe think twice about all the barnstorming they are doing around the country lately until they take a class in civics, or math....

Ultimate Lectern Fighting 2012: Liveblogging Mitt & Barack’s First Debate

Good evening, America! There is a slight chill in the air tonight, a vague hint that the roasting forever summer is finally slipping away, that not even the industrialist villains have managed to completely prevent autumn from its tardy...

Rick Sanchez On How Romney Can Win Tonight’s Debate: Explain Jobs More Better

When we last heard from World's Dumbest Anchorman Rick Sanchez, he had gotten fired from CNN for blowing the lid off of the global Jewish conspiracy and so had nothing better to do than to do some light content...

Romney Cannot Out-Debate Handsome, Talented Barack Obama, Says Romney Spokeswoman

OH BOY OH BOY THE DEBATES ARE COMING! This week will be the first time that Barack Obama and Mitt Romney get on TV and have a thoughtful, earnest exchange about how their different visions will translate into...

Mitt Romney To Stone Cold Politifact Barack Obama

Mitt Romney, that terrible, audacious liar, is going to approach the debates as a way of letting America know what a terrible, audacious liar Barack Obama is, because as Sun Tzu said, "Approach your weaknesses like the spineless sack...