Hot on the heels of yesterday’s impossibly exciting news of the opportunity to pay at least $70 to hear Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton sitting in adjacent armchairs and mumble talking points in a vaguely conversational rhythm: a cancellation of that exact thing! Apparently everyone was too into it, and this is why it had to end before it began. According to some Clinton spokesperson: “This event … was supposed to be a discussion between the two former presidents, and has been cancelled because it was not being billed as such by an overeager promoter.” How dare the promoter describe the event in such a way as to attempt to convince people to attend?  [New York Post]

Bill Clinton and George W. Bush will simultaneously perform impressions of relevance at Radio City Music Hall, where in February they will “debate topics ranging from the economy, to foreign policy, to the current administration.” Details are still fuzzy re: why anyone suggested this in the first place, what anyone believes the stakes to be or hopes to gain from this, or what’s in it for absolutely anyone—Clinton, Bush, the audience, Radio City Music Hall, or you, simply hearing in passing that this thing even exists. MORE »

Here’s newly-minted liberal health care hero Rep. Anthony Weiner debating evil liar/assassin Betsy McCaughey last night, in New York, on the topic of… wait just one sec here… oh yes, “health kare.” She’s like, “read the bill, Jew,” and he’s like, “die you fucking bitch.” MORE »

Oh sure he is an angry spittle-flecked chicken and all, but this doesn’t mean Chris Matthews is always wrong, for example this morning when he yelled at Joe and Mika for being pussyfooting sellouts on the healthcare issue. Joe’s all, “But I am concerned about costs,” and Chris does not actually filibuster that much (!), just keeps saying “Well do you want working class people to have healthcare or not?” and Mika is just so ANGRY that nobody will let her speak. (Which it’s true is pretty goddamn rude.) [Morning Joe]

By the Comics Curmudgeon
America! Your long national nightmare of presidential debates, which has been grinding on since before time began, is now over, if by “over” you mean “over until the first debate between Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney on who should be the Republican nominee for the presidential election of June 2009.” The question thus arises: What have we learned from the debates? Ha ha, obviously we’re Americans and have therefore learned nothing, basically. MORE »

MCCAIN STILL GAY FOR JOE THE PLUMBER: At a Walnuts rally today: “We had a good debate last night. I thought I did pretty well, but let’s have a little straight talk: the real winner last night was Joe the Plumber.” Indeed! Well at least he probably got laid last night. Beyond that? Joe must love having his tax records and (lack of) plumbing licenses scoured by the media, too. He’s already been vetted more than Sarah Palin, who proved to be sucky. [The Page]

So uh how did that whole deal go? Let’s go the the twelve dozen pundits gathered around a table in the CNN dungeon and see what they have to say, while Ken Layne eagerly watches the CSPAN to see if John McCain flees the stage immediately (again). MORE »

Well hey people, this is the last liveblog of a debate — the number is actually 50, no joke — in this election season. This has been a complete abortion of time. Ours, yours, God’s, ACORN’s. Remember Mike Gravel yelling at Joe Biden and really everyone else in that debate last April, which was 40 years ago? Well, that was actually in this SAME ELECTION CYCLE, and now it’s over forever because of the Economy, here’s a send-off into the hobo space jungle. And now we wait for the day… MORE »

Check out that ACORN squirrel illegally registering black Richard Simmons to vote in the swing state of New York. These liberal tracheotomy squirrels, can you even believe them. They should all be thrown in a bathtub of battery acid and Truck Nutz. Such things will be topics at this evening’s debate. Let’s see what the lamers on CNN are saying before the debate. BRING YR PANTS. MORE »

Wait, we only have an hour left to put together a drinking game? That’s not enough time to create high-quality alcoholic comedy! Well, we shall do our best — if by “our best” you mean, “We’ll just throw together a quick phrase/drink list and you can give it a try, at home!” MORE »

JOE BIDEN IS A GENIUS: “For this debate, for part of this next debate, do what I did for part of the last two debates. Literally, turn the sound off. I’m not being… I’m not joking now. Literally, turn the sound off.” No but seriously. Literally. [CBS News]