Tag Archives: debates

  In With The New

Meet Your New Michele Bachmann, Same As Your Old Michele Bachmann

Image via KARE video While Yr Wonkette joins the rest of the nation in mourning the loss of Rep. Michele Bachmann’s unique brand of political wisdom, we look forward to the arrival of her Republican successor in the House of Representatives, former talk radio host and failed gubernatorial candidate Tom Emmer. Read more on Meet Your New Michele Bachmann, Same As Your Old Michele Bachmann…
  We Are Saying He Is Shit Is What We Are Saying

In Florida Election, The Rick Just Hit The Fan

The moment Rick Scott lost the election
In what any Very Serious Journalist would consider a disqualifying move that requires the Republican Party to abandon the race completely, Florida Gov. Rick Scott refused to debate his Democratic opponent, the former Republican and former governor of Florida Charlie Crist (because of course; it’s Florida!), on Wednesday night. But he had a very good reason. As the debate’s moderator, Eliott Rodriguez, explained to the audience: Read more on In Florida Election, The Rick Just Hit The Fan…
  please proceed fox nation

Fox Still Bitching About Presidential Debate, Now, In Late February 2013

Whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch it is Fox Nation, and they are never going to get over the SHOCKING MALFEASANCE that was Candy Crowley’s LIEBRUL LYING LIES in the presidential debate — you remember the one? Please proceed, Governor? — and the gnashing of the teeth and the tearing of the hair and the MY GOD SHUT UP THAT WAS ALMOST FIVE MONTHS AGO. Frank Fahrenkopf, a co-chair of the Commission on Presidential Debates, and former chairman of the RNC, admitted this week that using liberal crank Candy Crowley as a debate moderator was a mistake. Crowley made history when she jumped in to save a stumbling Obama with a statement on the Benghazi terror strike that later proved false. [AHEM, ED NOTE, NO LINK TO ANYTHING PROVING ANYTHING FALSE BECAUSE SHUT UP THAT’S WHY.] The lapdog media later overwhelmingly gave the debate to Barack Obama. Now the co-chair of the Commission on Presidential Debates are admitting Crowley was a mistake. Read more on Fox Still Bitching About Presidential Debate, Now, In Late February 2013…
  mittens' world

Mitt Romney Iz In Ur Hurricane, Privatizin Ur FEMA

Hello to all of you in the Eastern third of this great country, currently hoarding boxes of wine and tarp and more boxes of wine in order to hopefully get through Frankenstorm without killing your loved ones in a fit of cabin fever. How is that going for you, gathering all those supplies and whatnot? Would it go EVEN BETTER if you knew that there was no FEMA? Or, what if you knew that FEMA had been turned into a profit-making machine for Job Creators? Would that make you work EVEN HARDER to prepare for the oncoming storm? Absolutely it would, says Mitt Romney, and also, do you think that FEMA will help you pick of the pieces of your ruined lives if the worst should occur? LOSERS. This is nothing short of immoral. Read more on Mitt Romney Iz In Ur Hurricane, Privatizin Ur FEMA…
  good goshy benghazi

Candy Crowley Did, But Didn’t, But Actually Did Back Down From Correcting Mittens On Libya

Last night, human dishonesty machine Mitt Romney lied about Barack Obama not calling the attack on the Benghazi consulate an “act of terror” for fourteen days. Candy Crowley (or CanCrow, as the kids call her) corrected Mitt, because he was gloriously, spectacularly wrong. ROMNEY: I want to make sure we get that for the record because it took the president 14 days before he called the attack in Benghazi an act of terror. OBAMA: Get the transcript. CROWLEY: It — it — it — he did in fact, sir. So let me — let me call it an act of terror… OBAMA: Can you say that a little louder, Candy? CROWLEY: He — he did call it an act of terror. It did as well take — it did as well take two weeks or so for the whole idea there being a riot out there about this tape to come out. You are correct about that. BOOM, MAN WHOSE NAME IS A CLOTHING ACCESSORY FOR HANDS. Mitt pretty much ganked a talking point from every dumb conservative blogger on the internet without checking it (including the Internet’s Dumbest Man and Woman, Jim Hoft and Michelle Malkin). If he had, he would have realized that Obama called Benghazi an “act of terror” the very next day after it happened, then again the day after in Colorado just in case motherfuckers weren’t listening. Here’s the problem, though: CanCrow is arguing that Mitt was “right in the main” about Libya because, er, the Obama administration said it was an “act of terror” motivated by a movie rather than by evil black terror hearts or whatever actually causes terrorism. (Video below the fold.) Read more on Candy Crowley Did, But Didn’t, But Actually Did Back Down From Correcting Mittens On Libya…
  roll 1d20 to save

Fox Nation Super-Stoked On Romney’s Domination Of Pre-Debate Coin-Toss

“Say,” you’re probably thinking. “That’s a good-looking nickel. One of those saucy ones from 2005. You could use it to buy a piece of Double Bubble, or maybe you could put in the ‘take a penny, leave a penny’ tray at the gas station if you want to blow minds with your generosity.” But that’s no ordinary nickel; that’s the most politically important metallic disc in the world, and it has personally ensured the crushing defeat of Barack Hussein Nobama at tonight’s debate. BUT HOW COULD A MERE FIVE-CENT PIECE HAVE SUCH POWER??? Read more on Fox Nation Super-Stoked On Romney’s Domination Of Pre-Debate Coin-Toss…
  being a man finally pays off for obama

Abusive Ogre Barack Obama Forces Hillary Clinton Into Taking Responsibility For Her Department

The Secretary of State is responsible for diplomatic security. The president is responsible for the Secretary of State. Yesterday, Hillary Clinton, who is the Secretary of State and incidentally the most powerful woman in the world, took responsibility for diplomatic security in Benghazi, where four Americans were killed. “I take responsibility,” Clinton told CNN in an interview while on a visit to Peru. “I’m in charge of the State Department’s 60,000-plus people all over the world, 275 posts. The president and the vice president wouldn’t be knowledgeable about specific decisions that are made by security professionals. They’re the ones who weigh all of the threats and the risks and the needs and make a considered decision.” A cynical person would think that Hillary Clinton took responsibility to take pressure off of Obama before the election. A realistic person would say both that Clinton’s statement is largely true, that the cynical person’s thoughts are somewhat true, and also consider the timing. Jennifer Rubin, however, has decided that Hillary Clinton took responsibility because she’s a penis-whipped shit sundae who’s not a real woman. Delicate lady-flowers should not be forced to take responsibility for the departments they run, because real men should stand up and do it for them. If that is not feminism, what is? Read more on Abusive Ogre Barack Obama Forces Hillary Clinton Into Taking Responsibility For Her Department…
  but when did she stop beating her wife?

America’s Favoritest Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Wins Re-Election With Spy Photo Of Opponent Picking Out Dress

Sorry, guys, but GAME OVER. Illinois Congressman and paragon of personal responsibility Joe Walsh has handily defeated his opponent even with four weeks or whatever left to go. How did he do this? By holding up, during their debate, a photo of his opponent picking out a dress to wear at the Democratic National Convention, where she would be giving a speech. Wait a minute, she? His opponent’s a lady? And his big GOTCHA is that she wore a dress? Do not try to wrap your puny mortal brains around what goes on in the mysterious silence of Joe Walsh’s skull. He’s ineffable, and unknowable, and a crazy motherfucker. Like God! Read more on America’s Favoritest Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Wins Re-Election With Spy Photo Of Opponent Picking Out Dress…
  fight for your right to poverty

Hero Congressman Defends America From Commie Socialist Nuns

Nuns are so sweet and all, trying to help others and whatnot, but they really should maybe think twice about all the barnstorming they are doing around the country lately until they take a class in civics, or math. This barnstorming, it is dividing America, says Rep. Scott Tipton (R-Money), a Romney surrogate from Colorado who spoke to ThinkProgress after the debates last week. The nuns should probably work on job creation, rather than on just coddling the poor and turning them into a gigantic moocher class. Read more on Hero Congressman Defends America From Commie Socialist Nuns…
  two dudes sexting about two dudes debating

Ultimate Lectern Fighting 2012: Liveblogging Mitt & Barack’s First Debate

Good evening, America! There is a slight chill in the air tonight, a vague hint that the roasting forever summer is finally slipping away, that not even the industrialist villains have managed to completely prevent autumn from its tardy arrival. The chill, of course, is the Earth’s response to the cold dead vacuum of Mitt Romney speaking to the nation, via the prime-time television broadcasts known as the First Presidential Debate of 2012. Your old and unfaithful friends Newell and Layne have been brought out of the gun locker for tonight’s festivities, and we are ready to share in this 90-minute national tragedy with all of you. Let us begin … even though the CNN feed isn’t working? Read more on Ultimate Lectern Fighting 2012: Liveblogging Mitt & Barack’s First Debate…
  penetrating analysis

Rick Sanchez On How Romney Can Win Tonight’s Debate: Explain Jobs More Better

When we last heard from World’s Dumbest Anchorman Rick Sanchez, he had gotten fired from CNN for blowing the lid off of the global Jewish conspiracy and so had nothing better to do than to do some light content aggregation on HuffPo and pay some poor publicist to send out email blasts about it. Since then he has managed to snag a job or at least the password to some blogging software and now his deep thoughts appear on “Fox News Latino,” which is a real website that exists. How can Mitt Romney defeat Obama in tonight’s debate, Rick Sanchez? Easy! Just explain, in simple terms, how Mitt Romney will create jobs, for everybody. Why hasn’t Mitt done this? It’s almost as if it would be very complicated to explain and/or he doesn’t actually know how! Read more on Rick Sanchez On How Romney Can Win Tonight’s Debate: Explain Jobs More Better…
  jedi mind tricks

Romney Cannot Out-Debate Handsome, Talented Barack Obama, Says Romney Spokeswoman

OH BOY OH BOY THE DEBATES ARE COMING! This week will be the first time that Barack Obama and Mitt Romney get on TV and have a thoughtful, earnest exchange about how their different visions will translate into policies to help the great country they both love ha ha we can’t even finish this sentence because of course the whole noble debate concept has long been subsumed into the general presidential election horrorshow of spin and fuckery. We’re still days away and already the mind games are starting. First up: expectations-lowering, in which each campaign tries to convince the press that their candidate will spend most of the debate gibbering incoherently and urinating on himself in terror, so that when he manages to string several coherent sentences together it can be spun as a win. Unfortunately, Mitt’s people’s attempts at this have been a little … too convincing? Read more on Romney Cannot Out-Debate Handsome, Talented Barack Obama, Says Romney Spokeswoman…
  your newest entry in the annals of irony

Mitt Romney To Stone Cold Politifact Barack Obama

Mitt Romney, that terrible, audacious liar, is going to approach the debates as a way of letting America know what a terrible, audacious liar Barack Obama is, because as Sun Tzu said, “Approach your weaknesses like the spineless sack of poo that you are.” Read more on Mitt Romney To Stone Cold Politifact Barack Obama…
  needs moar gingrich

Yes We Will Live-Bloog Elizabeth Warren Schoolmarming That Dreamy Scott Brown

Harry Reid has done us all the mitzvah of making sure Scott Brown doesn’t have an excused absence from tonight’s debate with everyone’s favorite schoolmarm, Elizabeth Warren. Also, Reid basically called Brown a coward trying to get out of the debate the way most Republicans got out of Vietnam, and then told him to put on some dry panties and go get on an aeroplane. So we will see you here at 7 p.m. Eastern, presuming this thing will be live-streamed somewhere? (We do not live in Massachusetts.) Read more on Yes We Will Live-Bloog Elizabeth Warren Schoolmarming That Dreamy Scott Brown…
  massholes

John Kerry To Play Fellow Tall, Limp Massachusetts Patrician Mitt Romney In Debate Practice

John Kerry’s back on the presidential debate stage! He told you bums that he’d get back there, one of these days. Unfortunately, he’ll only be playing his 2012 lamer equivalent, Mitt Romney, in practice debates against President Obama. How debasing. But since John Kerry’s career at this point is “kiss as much Obama ass as possible until John Kerry is named Secretary of State,” he’ll proudly accept this call to make the very, very modest tweaks to his personality necessary to portray a perfect Mitt Romney. Read more on John Kerry To Play Fellow Tall, Limp Massachusetts Patrician Mitt Romney In Debate Practice…
  oopsies

Neo-Nazi Greek Politician Beats On Lady Politician On Live TV (VIDEO)

Well, this is great. During a live television debate on Thursday between a bunch of Greek politicians (its broke citizens go to the broken polls on June 17), Ilias Kasidiaris, a spokesperson for and member of the terrifyingly named neo-Nazi party Golden Dawn, tossed a glass of water at a lady rival, Rena Dourou of the left-leaning Syriza party, THEN slapped another lady politician, Liana Kanelli of KKE, the communist party, twice. This after an exchange of insults including “you old commie!” (he to she) and “fascist!” (she to he). The bestest part of this is that it is ONLINE! The second best part is that the reason Kasidiaris attacked the women is because they were asking him about a 2007 mugging that he has been implicated in. The trial about that mugging is ongoing, but it’s safe to say, um, innocent until proven to be a violent freak on national television. Read more on Neo-Nazi Greek Politician Beats On Lady Politician On Live TV (VIDEO)…