This is pretty much perfect, except maybe somewhere you could squeeze in, “That Joe person is crying about his dead family?! –> Shout Maverick several times,” which is something that happened. [Adennak via Andrew Sullivan]

Alaskan dingbat Sarah Palin proudly quoted Ronald Reagan last night, you betcha. So what was that weird quote about, anyway? It’s from this LP propaganda record, part of a “campaign organized by the American Medical Association to block the passage of Medicare.” MORE »

This is our Part III, of this painful debate between Gwen Ifill and Joe Biden. Meanwhile, sprightly snow clown Sarah Palin is reciting notes and folkisms from her podium. It is weird. Whether it’s weirder than any other part of this freak two-year-long presidential campaign, we won’t know until … the next freak event. Agh, she can’t pronounce “nuclear” either. Well, hey, our pre-liveblog is here, our Part I liveblog is here, our Part II liveblog is here, and now let’s get to drinkin’, stoppin’ the brains from gettin’ confused with our freedoms, our democracies, and etc. Ugh. MORE »

Trying. To keep. Blood pressure. Down. Musn’t DIE. Watching the lady lie about literally everything. Oh, she has some complete sentences alright. “Congratulations.” You’re still not a human though! STILL NOT THERE! Oh and Joe — less numbers! We realize numbers are your defense mechanism whenever you really want to say “SHUT THE HELL UP FRAUDBOT,” but still. Here’s the pre-blog and part 1. MORE »

Happy Night of the Century, fellow Americans! We have longed for this night, and we have dreaded it. Poor Gwen Ifill was walked to the stage like some dead pope, the contestants are here and ready to go, our drinking game is also ready to go — are you?! And the pre-game liveblog is just a sweet click away. Ready your beverages, people, and let’s do this thing. MORE »

Wonkette Fly-Over Correspondent Stephen Martin is at the scene of tonight’s Palin-Biden debate in St. Louis, trying to find out why Dr. Dean is such a dick: “Just ran into Howard Dean in the campus bookstore at Wash U. I got to know the man relatively well four years ago, had dinner with him, the typical Iowa thing with candidates. Well, I figured I’d go say hi to him. Totally blew me off. It’s not like there was a gaggle or anything. He was getting his picture taken with a couple of campus cuties. I was the only “reporter” in the whole place. But his people saw my red ‘media’ tag, and completely ignored me. I was disappointed. MORE »

What a tragic month for our Snowbilly Dingbat! On August 29, just hours after Barack Obama’s stadium acceptance speech in Denver, John McCain waddled out with his exciting maverick veep pick, a nine-year-old child abandoned at the Wal-Mart in some exurban Alaskan gloom-hole. And America loved her! Or, “the Americans who voted for Bush, twice, thought she was better than that liberal Mexican McCain, at least.” And now? The only people still standing up for Our Sarah are the stupidest people in America the world: Socially Conservative Republican Men. MORE »

Your associate editor was prepared to go to this funny-sounding debate party last Friday at the D.C. headquarters of libertarian masturbation pamphlet Reason, one for which Bob Barr was invited to yell at Obama and McCain on the teevee, live. Ineffectiveness and vanity on this level is, of course, the very essence of libertarianism. So instead your editor incoherently liveblogged from home, viciously drunk (sorry!) and FAR AWAY from the old yelling octoroon. But Liz Glover went in our stead, and she brought a sidekick! MORE »

Here’s potentially gay Sen. Lindsey Graham, one of McCain’s most ardent supporters, on the Fox News Sunday program alongside famous mule-bot John Kerry. He’s presented with some poll numbers that look good for Obama after the debate. Graham offers one sentence of pro-McCain spin and then starts whining about how tired he is and basically says OBAMA IS THE BEST THERE ARE YOU HAPPY CHRIS WALLACE? John Kerry stoically agrees and then everyone makes out. [Crooks & Liars]

Oh Jesus, check this out. Here’s a McCain campaign senior strategist, Nancy Poopenheifer or some such, talking with enigmatic Fox & Friends clown Steve Doocy about how the vice presidential debate is somehow ALREADY RIGGED for Joe Biden. Apparently it could focus on foreign policy, and that would just be unfair to Sarah Palin — how the hell is she supposed to know bullhickey about the various foreign policies? This debate is a SHAM, and since black Gwen Ifill is moderating it, well, you know she’s in the tank. Just look at all of that melanin! [YouTube]

Hey look it’s John McCain, doing a “rap.” Silly liberals. Don’t you know that if you can pronounce the name of a Muslim, then YOU are a Muslim too? [YouTube]