Tag Archives: debate

  journamalism

Fox’s Megyn Kelly Has Questions About The Liberal Communist Maoist Questions Picked For The Debate

Thank God we have Megyn Kelly to explain why Romney shit the bed on so many of the questions in last night’s Happy Lovey Hoe-Down Sing-Along — it’s probably because of Candy Crowley, but it’s MOSTLY because of the American public with their stupid concerns. Why did they have such LIBERAL concerns? Real Americans care about the deficit, the fiscal cliff, taxes, bombing more Muslins, and the deficit, though not in that order. So the REAL question is, who picked these people and let them ask questions? Hmm? And why did they ask about stuff we already know from before? Megyn Kelly predicts that there will be questions about that, just questions, that’s all. Read more on Fox’s Megyn Kelly Has Questions About The Liberal Communist Maoist Questions Picked For The Debate…
  at least he didn't call him boy

Humble Gent Mitt Romney Tells President Of United States Of America To STFU

What was your favorite part of last night’s Friendly Friends Hour of Good Times and Niceness? Was it when trustworthy, loyal, helpful, thrifty, cheerful, courteous and brave mild-mannered gentleman Miffed Romney told the President of the United States to shut the fuck up? PROBABLY NOT! But let’s relive it anyway! Read more on Humble Gent Mitt Romney Tells President Of United States Of America To STFU…
  mind the gap

Fox News Watergates Debate Transcript; Erases Four Worst Minutes Of Mitt Romney’s Life

There’s a conspiracy afoot, kid detectives! After the debate, the networks posted “transcripts” of the debate. “What’s a transcript?” your dumb friend might ask. Well, a transcript is when someone writes down everything people said and then you cite from it on the internet! Well, Fox News “transcribed” the debate last night, but there was a mysterious four minute audio gap. Read more on Fox News Watergates Debate Transcript; Erases Four Worst Minutes Of Mitt Romney’s Life…
  flotus files

The Inevitable ‘Who Wore It Best?’ Michelle Obama vs. Ann Romney Smackdown

Before going into too much detail, the answer is Michelle Obama. Always. Unless of course the question is, “Who ate the rest of my french fries?” (The answer to that question used to be The Snowbilly, but now who knows?!) If you watched last night’s debate long enough to see the spouses emerge from the dark tunnels under America’s “undecided” voters, you may have noticed that OMG LADIES WEARING THE SAME COLOR OUTFIT!!! This is what happens when you are trapped in Mitt Romney’s lady-binders, we guess? Or it was a dumb breast cancer thing. (Women’s vote! Ladies just love their pink ribbons and October breast cancer-themed Lifetime movie marathons.) Let us explore! Read more on The Inevitable ‘Who Wore It Best?’ Michelle Obama vs. Ann Romney Smackdown…
  make em say vote nah nah nah nah

‘Bout To Get Rowdy Rowdy And Debate It ‘Bate It

Hello, nerds! Rebecca and I are ready and set to get up in this debate shit, on the real. Tonight is the most important night of Barack Obama’s life, in that he should just straight slam Five Hour Energy and then leap around onstage like he will seriously Seal Team Six the fuck out of Romney’s shit. I am liveblogging from Gooeyz on the Ohio State University campus, courtesy of the Franklin County Young Democrats. Rebecca is blogging from a velvet couch while smoking a cigarette out of a long black holder. 8:38 PM: I have not seen a group of people this white sit in a space this small since that group of college kids piled in that Land Rover at Hilton Head. Read more on ‘Bout To Get Rowdy Rowdy And Debate It ‘Bate It…
  of course he's prolife he is a fetus

Ohio Senate Candidate Josh Mandel Loves Women So Much, Has A Mom And Wife And Everything

Good times on the ol’ SPAN last night, as Ohio state Treasurer/debate club fetus TOOK IT to Senator Sherrod Brown, and by “took it to” we mean yelled his talking points with awesome macho frowning and stuff. Did you know that Josh Mandel served his country in Iraq? It is true, he did, though how he managed not to take a dose of friendly fire from his fellow troops who must have LOVED him is beyond what our puny mortal brains can understand. We think the first time he mentioned his service was in response to a Muslim fellow asking why he had run anti-Muslim ads against an opponent. The answer to that was “Iraq and ladies rights, don’t we all agree HENGHHH?” Then there was his answer to ladies’ rights HERE (clip not embeddable, FUCK YOU, SPAN!), to which his answer was “I have a wife and a mom! JERBS!” Dude, so suavay. Read more on Ohio Senate Candidate Josh Mandel Loves Women So Much, Has A Mom And Wife And Everything…
  sore losermen

Fox News ‘Doctor’ Just Asking If Joe Biden Has Dementia, That’s All

This is a video of a Fox “News” “Medical” correspondent visiting Fox and Friends to argue that Joe Biden is either a drunk, obnoxious asshole OR a senile, drunk old man with dementia. Apparently these are the only explanations for interrupting someone that isn’t Jim Lehrer—being an obnoxious asshole, or having dementia. Read more on Fox News ‘Doctor’ Just Asking If Joe Biden Has Dementia, That’s All…
  no-shows

‘Joe’ the ‘Plumber’ Has No Time For ‘Debates’

Remember Joe the Plumber, that guy who isn’t really named Joe and isn’t really a plumber but nonetheless became famous for no particular reason during the 2008 election and then somehow managed to get a reporting gig for Pajamas Media and subsequently “wrote” a “book” that now sells for about $00.01 on Amazon? Yes, THAT “Joe” the “Plumber.” It pains us to inform you that he is also “running” for Congress with the same zeal he usually reserves for”plumbing” and book-“writing.” Read more on ‘Joe’ the ‘Plumber’ Has No Time For ‘Debates’…
  Spotlight on Civility

A Children’s Treasury of Butthurt Reactions To Joe Biden’s Debate Demeanor

Say, did you notice that Joe Biden was just a little interrupty in the VP Debate? We are given to understand that Old Handsome Joe’s performance made a bit of a stir among some of the more sensitive souls on the right side of the political spectrum. (You see, when a Republican puts on an angry threat display, it proves his “alpha male” status. When a Dem does something similar, it is the end of civility as we know it, and poo must be flung.) The Wingosphere is experiencing such a tsunami of tsuris over Mean Joe that we can only skim the surface in this post; no doubt we will miss some of your personal favorites. So it goes. Let’s see whose delicate sensibilities have been ruffled by the Veep-Hulk: Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Butthurt Reactions To Joe Biden’s Debate Demeanor…
  the rally in the valley

Old Bald Liberal Jews Mistake Congressional Debate For WWE Ring (Video)

Brad Sherman and Howard Berman are almost indistinguishable. They are old liberal Jewish Democrats who both voted for the Iraq war (but still try to ding the other for voting for the Iraq war? Come on, guys), and they are both sitting members of Congress representing Los Angeles’s San Fernando Valley. (You remember the Valley from movies like Valley Girl and songs like, um, Valley Girl.) But then a quirk of fate (or the redistricting commission) forced them to run against each other for a newly created seat, and now it is like a comedic Hollywood movie! Yesterday, shortly before Joe Biden raped poor Paul Ryan in his bottom, the two candidates met for some quality get-in-your-facetime, and Brad Sherman basically tried to headlock Howard Berman while shouting at him “YOU WANNA GET IN MY FACE?” and some other stuff, like George W. Bush pretending he was Hud and shouting “You wanna go mano-a-mano old man???” And then an alert copper (we presume he’s a sheriff’s deputy, based on his uniform) was like, you know, I think I will do some keeping of the peace. Gentlemen? Please stop the manhandling. BOO! Read more on Old Bald Liberal Jews Mistake Congressional Debate For WWE Ring (Video)…
  meeting cute

And Now Is When We Watch Scott Brown And Elizabeth Warren Finally Fall In Love

Want to catch up on Senator Staple-Crotch dealing a death-blow to his “nice guy” image? Previous debatings here and here. (That second link is if you want to relive Third Man David Gregory finally succeeding in breaking your Wonkette, reducing us to a puddle of Tea Partyish rage. Your Editrix’s mother thought it was great!) Now turn on your Span, let us blog like a wild thang! Read more on And Now Is When We Watch Scott Brown And Elizabeth Warren Finally Fall In Love…
  Battle of the Cable Icons

The Jon Stewart & Bill O’Reilly Debate-Like Thing, 8 PM Saturday: We’ll Blog It Live!

Attention, Wonketteers! We are pleased to announce that Your Wonkette will be live-embloggening what promises to be a far more entertaining debate than that thing that happened on Wednesday. Join Your Doktor Zoom at 8 PM (Eastern) for a livebloog of tonight’s epic, not-at-all-over-hyped Pay-Per-View butting of heads between Jon “I Just Do Comedy” Stewart and Bill “Me Too, Though I Don’t Admit It” O’Reilly. Read more on The Jon Stewart & Bill O’Reilly Debate-Like Thing, 8 PM Saturday: We’ll Blog It Live!…
  hari kari y'all

Oh No Democrats It Is Time For Your Mass Suicide!

Your Editrix was in the stupid position last night of having gone to a debate party with her people, the Obamatards. This was stupid because when Wonkette broke on good ol’ Jim and Ken, she had to go outside to start emailing everyone in the world to try to fix it, and also it was really really hard to get a drink and so the five million mentions of “the middle class” went undrunk. Bad Decision jeans! But was it as terrible a night for our Barry Bamz as the entire Internet and Chris Matthews have decided, in their handwritten suicide notes? (Andrew Sullivan, please put out your hair.) Well, we didn’t think so — we saw a fairly boring B. Hussein (as in most of his debates) and the same cracked-out, hyper, stuttering Miffed who showed up to all the primary fiascos. (The main difference being Miffed was more personable than we’ve seen him before, and didn’t insult anyone to their faces.) Read more on Oh No Democrats It Is Time For Your Mass Suicide!…
  people get ready

ZingFest 2012 Is Almost Upon Us

Zingers! Zingers! Who will be the first to make one? Who will have better ones? Will the entire debate be nothing but an endless series of zingers, each zingier than the next? Will Jim Lehrer be forced to stand up, pound his desk, and scream “The next candidate to make a zinger loses 30 electoral votes right fucking now” at Obama and Romney? Mystery guest bloggers Ken Layne and Jim Newell will let you know, back here, at 8:30 p.m.! But first, zingers! Read more on ZingFest 2012 Is Almost Upon Us…
  drunk as a voting skunk

Your Handy-Dandy Wonkette Debate Drinking Game

Hi, drunkards! Tonight, in case you didn’t know, is America’s First 2012 Presidential Debate, during which two men will stand on stage and be hectored and/or coddled by Jim Lehrer in a spectacle that matches no version of the word “debate” as the English language has come to commonly define it. Well, we here at Wonkette along with Drunk Jim Lehrer (pictured above) would like to give you your official drinking game for tonight. First, some ground rules: 1) We don’t do “one drink, two drink, red drink, blue drink” shit. What counts as “one drink”? At Wonkette, we just straight drink until we don’t feel like it any more. Out of a funnel. We call it the Drunklopian Tube. 2) It is probably best if you use the drinking game as an accompaniment to your otherwise completely healthy heavy drinking, rather than a pure guide, because depending on how long they ramble about “policy” (not at all, who are we kidding?), you may have literal minutes between drinks. That having been said, here we go! Read more on Your Handy-Dandy Wonkette Debate Drinking Game…
  that's laughable

Here Is Your Gif Of Elizabeth Warren Trying And Failing Not To Laugh At Scott Brown

Last night’s Massachusetts Senate Debate clusterfuck, “moderated” by David Gregory, almost broke Your Editrix as she melted into a #sloppysloppy puddle of outrage and vapors. But here, via Buzzfeed, is Elizabeth Warren laughing her ass off at Scott Brown’s answer to the question “Who is your model Supreme Court justice?” Brown delayed answering for about five seconds (unable to think of any, certainly) before coming up with the worst possible answer short of whoever decided Dred Scott: rodent-eating space slug Antonin Scalia. Then he said Kennedy. Then Roberts. Then Sotomayor, Diana Ross, Judge Dredd and Judge Reinhold. (The correct answer, obviously, is Judge Judy.) [Buzzfeed] Read more on Here Is Your Gif Of Elizabeth Warren Trying And Failing Not To Laugh At Scott Brown…
  the professor and mary ann

Massachusetts Senate Live Blog: The Thrilla In Vanilla

You guys there is yet another debate tonight in Massachusetts and we are beside ourselves with excitement waiting for the answer to the eternal question, JUST HOW RACIST WILL SCOTT BROWN BE? We bet he goes full Andrew Jackson. Because for the last hour, his supporters have been doing war whoops and tomahawk chops outside the debate hall, the same kind that Scott Brown sternly reminded Elizabeth Warren to please stop doing, and to show a little class and respect! Anyhoo, turn on your “SPAN” or your this, fetch you some firewater, and let’s start this bitch! Read more on Massachusetts Senate Live Blog: The Thrilla In Vanilla…
  one little two little three little debate preps

Tonight At 7PM: Hunk With Truck Faces Professor With Dresser

Tonight at 7PM EST, Miss Lady Rebecca will be live-blogging Massachusetts Senate debate between war-whoopin’ Scott Brown and getting rapidly more pissed off about this whole thing Elizabeth Warren. Be here! Be attentive! Listen for the not-at-all-veiled racism! Read more on Tonight At 7PM: Hunk With Truck Faces Professor With Dresser…
  wow turns out scott brown is kind of a dick!

Live Blogging Your Elizabeth Warren/Scott Brown Deathmatch (Pt. One Of Four)

Remember when Your Wonkette went to Tampa and Charlotte and then lots and tons of other cities, to feed beer to you, our beloved Wonkados? No, we don’t either. But we are told we made friends with a bunch of dudes from Boston whilst there, and they told us FLAT OUT that Scott Brown was gonna cream Elizabeth Warren in the Massachusetts Senate race. Everybody likes him too much, they explained, but we have not asked them to splain since all those polls came out showing Warren finally ahead how they could be so stupid. Eh, happens to everyone! Like today, we put up a Fox & Friends post that was over two years old! Here, have some liveblog, we shall begin! If you don’t have Cspan THREE, you can watch it here. Read more on Live Blogging Your Elizabeth Warren/Scott Brown Deathmatch (Pt. One Of Four)…