Is this really it? The end of the debates, for this presidential race? It seems like only two years ago that these awful debates began — because that’s how long they’ve been going on, for two years. And now, it comes down to Two Men. One is an increasingly terrifying old lunatic who is probably going to hit the moderator tonight, and blame it on Bill Ayers. Also: Orange Squirrel Furries. This is an official tactic of the RNC today, these Squirrel Furries! The other is … well, we don’t really know anything about him, if he is a “him.” We don’t even know his name, if he has a name. There is literally no way anyone could possibly know anything about this “That One” character, except he is leading by about 107 points tonight, so obviously no matter what he does, we will all nod our heads with dignity and say that he lost. Wait, what? MORE »

We had a hard time watching the whole thing, and this is our job. Did 63.2 million people — 66 million if you count elitist PBS viewers — really watch that dull sleepytime debate last night? That’s what the ratings company claims. Even more people (70 million!) watched the Palin-Biden debate, because hey, that Tina Fey is quite the comedienne! Sadly for the networks, the desperate voters who watched last night’s Obama-McCain show don’t have any money to buy any consumer items, so there were no commercials to pay for the teevee rays which are beamed from space at great expense to every room in America. [Live Feed]

Here is that remarkable video from last night, just after the debate. The news channels quickly cut to their commentators and spin rooms and such, but the C-SPAN cameras stayed as long as there was a candidate in the room. Here’s what to watch for: MORE »

Here it is again, my friends. It is also here. And here’s the fun entire debate, via C-SPAN, after the jump. MORE »

This is the first time your editor has really paid attention to those squiggly lines on the CNN independent voter torture graph. Wow! The uncommitted voters of Ohio do not like this John McCain character. The only time we’ve seen a real happy response to McCain was when he was talking very generally (and quite well) about America’s history as a “peacekeeper.” (Ha.) And then he had to snarl and say “this isn’t the time for on-the-job training,” and the male and female lines went down like the stock market. What does it mean? MORE »

Oh boy howdy this has been a bunch of yammering interspersed with Tom Brokaw complaining about how long the yammering has been going on. Did you miss some of this important blah de blah? Well here they are in serial fashion: Part I, Part II, Part III, and that brings us to Part IV. If this were Star Wars, we’d just be getting to the good stuff. For example, after the jump you will find a little clip of John McCain calling Barack Obama “that one.” Now onward, onward. MORE »

The New Great Depression hobo pictured here is Joe Biden, getting on the hobo train from Washington to Delaware to tend to his adult children. Joe Biden therefore cannot debate tonight, so lil’ old Hopey will have to debate against the old fart in his place. Who can pretend he will fix the economy more to these town hall people? Are any of them hot? No they are fat, and Barack Obama will drop air bombs on them or whatever is it Palin says. (Here are Part I and Part II.) MORE »

If there was ever a time for an old-fashioned community meetin’ at the old town hall, what with the world comin’ to an end and such, that time is now, brothers and sisters. But, we can’t even do a Great Depression right, so get ready for a lot of inane questions submitted via Twitter on the Internet or whatever, as McCain prepares to challenge Obama on the question of whether black people should even be allowed to vote, let alone run for president. MORE »

Sarah Palin continues to avoid the “mainstream gotcha media” wing of yellow black journalists after Katie Couric, the host of a basic news program for old people, proved to be too In The Tank in too many interviews. Since last week’s debate, she’s only granted interviews to such staunch conservative kingpins as Hugh Hewitt, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and, today, Bill “William” Kristol of the liberal New York Times. Kristol’s column about it today is called — and may we add that this is hilarious — “The Wright Stuff.” Tomorrow Palin is expected to interview with Montgomery Burns. MORE »

We will miss this clown, Sarah Palin, when she’s sent back to Alaska. Ha, not really. Oh, and after the jump, this discombobulating thing from Harry Shearer. MORE »

There was nothing good about Sarah Palin’s debate performance last night, at all. But! Some party hacks are pretending to like it, or say she won, because of how well she avoided saying anything of substance. The “buzz word” regarding the key to her success (among no one) is that she spoke in very “folksy” tones, and they appeal to the Heartland. For the first time ever, our punditry is being lazy! “Folksy” is more of an Ann Richards thing. What Sarah Palin did was called “flirting.” And so far, at least one pundit on National Review’s The Corner blog has disclosed how much of a boner he got, in potentially the greatest Corner post of all time. MORE »