Tag Archives: debate

  Every Word Is A Drinking Game

Liveblogging The Pathetic Embarrassing First Tier GOP Losers Debate: A Live Blog

He’s ready. YOU ready? Didn’t we all have such a good time laughing at the second-tier candidates’ debate? We sure did! Now let’s watch Donald Trump and the other guys have their turn. And hey, if you missed the Kids’ Table debate from earlier today, like during “All My Children” or whenever it was on, go read Wonkette’s live-blog of that, and catch up on all the news about how Lindsey Graham is going to die alone, Carly Fiorina sexts with Bibi Netanyahu and Rick Santorum used “optimism” to put seven babies in his wife’s butt. // < ![CDATA[ (function() { var lb24 = document.createElement('script'); lb24.type = 'text/javascript'; lb24.id = '24lbScript'; lb24.async = true; lb24.charset="utf-8"; lb24.src = '//v.24liveblog.com/embed/24.js?id=1299000'; (document.getElementsByTagName('head')[0] || document.getElementsByTagName('body')[0]).appendChild(lb24);})(); // ]]> Read more on Liveblogging The Pathetic Embarrassing First Tier GOP Losers Debate: A Live Blog…
  Point and laugh at the sads :(

Liveblogging The Pathetic Embarrassing Second Tier GOP Losers Debate: A Live Blog

Well hello there! Are you ready to see the loser junior varsity Republican candidates lose some more while they debate each other during loser hour? US TOO! Who knows what’s going to happen? Will Rick Santorum get real stigmata? Will Rick Perry comb his mane the whole time? Will Jim Gilmore try to feel Carly Fiorina on the boobies? Who can say, nobody knows who he is, so we don’t know if he’s a booby-grabbing creeper or not! Join us as we live-blog the inaugural debate of Fuckshow 2016! Read more on Liveblogging The Pathetic Embarrassing Second Tier GOP Losers Debate: A Live Blog…
  All your questions answered

Donald Trump And Nine Other Losers Walk Into A Bar: Your Wonkette Debate Preview!

You know, if you're not doing anything else that night LOL
It’s almost here, everyone, it’s almost here! The moment we have all been waiting for (kind of!) comes Thursday night, when the top ten Republican candidates, as chosen by Fox News Science, will show us their junk on live television! Donald Trump is the frontrunner, because a significant percentage of the Republican base is even dumber than the other percentages of the Republican base, and are impressed by loud men who act like they’re overcompensating for small penises and small minds. They’re like, “Awwww, reminds me of Daddy, PBUH.” Except they probably don’t say “PBUH,” because that’s Muslin. Read more on Donald Trump And Nine Other Losers Walk Into A Bar: Your Wonkette Debate Preview!…
  Just Look At All The Puppies He *Didn't* Kick

Only 2000 Women Sued Georgia GOP Senate Candidate For Discrimination. Seems Low.

Michelle Nunn has a pretty good 'You gotta be freakin kidding me' face
David Perdue would really like to be Georgia’s next U.S. Senator, but it seems he has a few problems with the ladies, as in he is polling really badly with them, compared to opponent Michelle Nunn. For a state with no Democrats in statewide offices, Georgia is very, very close to sending Nunn to the Senate, and Perdue didn’t exactly close the gender gap with his performance in Sunday’s debate with Nunn. You see, while Perdue was CEO of discount chain store Dollar General, the company was sued for discrimination by a couple thousand women who worked in management positions at the company. But come on, said Perdue at the debate, that’s all in the past, and besides, is “2000” really that many women suing for discrimination? Heck, just think of all the employees who weren’t managers or women, or women managers that didn’t sue! Read more on Only 2000 Women Sued Georgia GOP Senate Candidate For Discrimination. Seems Low….
  Lethal Injunction

WonkiFact: Yep, Rick Scott Delayed Execution For Attorney General’s Campaign Schedule

Now *that's* a logo.
During the second, fan-free debate between former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist* and current Gov. Rick Scott (R-Malfoy Manor) Tuesday night, the accusations flew hot and heavy. One of the more notable exchanges involved the question of whether Gov. Voldemort knowingly delayed a prisoner’s execution last year so it wouldn’t conflict with a campaign event being held by his attorney general, Pam Bondi. Read more on WonkiFact: Yep, Rick Scott Delayed Execution For Attorney General’s Campaign Schedule…
  Grimdark Rimrack Gimcracks And Gewgaws

Mitch McConnell Won’t Let Obamacare Do Buttsechs To America Anymore

If you get this you're a Smeghead
Monday night, Mitch McConnell and Alison Lundergan Grimes held their only debate in the race for U.S. Senate for Kentucky, and sure, there were some weird moments, like Grimes continuing to not say whether she voted for Barack Obama, as if that somehow were important, or McConnell’s weird insistence that if he gets his wish and Obamacare goes away forever, that somehow won’t change anything for the 500,000 people who’ve gotten health insurance through Kentucky’s exchange website, Kynect. Read more on Mitch McConnell Won’t Let Obamacare Do Buttsechs To America Anymore…
  Science: What Has It Done For Us?

Paul Ryan Pretty Sure Scientists Too Dumb To Be Sure about Global Warming

It's Banksy, in a canal, with a spray can.
Paul Ryan one-upped the rest of the Republican Party in a debate against his Democratic challenger Monday night. Most R’s have been content to say that they don’t have to express an opinion on the reality of climate change because “I’m not a scientist.” But Paul Ryan went one better and said that neither are scientists. Read more on Paul Ryan Pretty Sure Scientists Too Dumb To Be Sure about Global Warming…
  Hot Time In The Old Hemisphere Tonight

Colorado Gov Candidate: When Would God Ever Allow The Seas To Rise And The Earth To Flood?

We need Gary Larson again, don't we?
Republican candidate for Governor of Colorado Bob Beauprez isn’t too worried about this “global warming” stuff because the Earth can take care of itself, with a little help from God probably. In a debate Tuesday with incumbent Democratic Gov. John Hickenlooper, Beauprez said that it’s nice that we’re fighting pollution and even CO2 emissions, but we don’t need to do anything drastic because God’s totally got this one: Read more on Colorado Gov Candidate: When Would God Ever Allow The Seas To Rise And The Earth To Flood?…
  What's the third one there?

Veep Recap: Oops…

Dan’s back, Amy’s in charge, and enemies become frenemies on this week’s triumphant return of “Veep.” After a weeklong hiatus thanks to stupid Memorial Day, we’re dropped into Team Veep’s war room ahead of a primary debate. This will be Selina’s first chance to cement her frontrunner status in this race, and her coterie of advisors is strategizin’ and game-plannin’ just as hard as they can. Read more on Veep Recap: Oops……
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Gets Swept Up In the Magic Of Idaho Republican Debate (Video)

Stephen Colbert took his sweet time getting to last Thursday’s weird gubernatorial debate in Idaho, where the appearance of two brilliantly weird minor candidates was engineered by the incumbent “Governor and Wind in the Willows character Butch Otter.” Like the rest of America, Colbert was charmed by biker and former Seabee Harley Brown, whose opening statement, “Don’t think I’m crazy, ’cause I’m not!” Colbert favorably compared to “I know we just met but I don’t have a human head in my freezer.” And then there’s the even more loveable Walt Bayes, the crotchety Bible-thumping high school graduate who came on “like a vengeful Backwoods Santa.” And like the rest of us, it was hard for Stephen to decide which lunatic to root for. Read more on Stephen Colbert Gets Swept Up In the Magic Of Idaho Republican Debate (Video)…
  the opitomy of a dumb ass

Idaho Had A Gubernatorial Primary Debate, And Magic Happened

The Great State of Idaho holds its primary election next week, to decide which Republican candidates will beat some token Democrats in November. We have a true two-party system in this fine state: Conservative Republicans, and Insanely Conservative Republicans. And every four years, we get treated to the Republican debate, an event usually featuring a mainstream Republican, sometimes two, and any number of other candidates who somehow got enough signatures to get on the ballot. This time around, for the boring student council contingent, we had incumbent Gov. C.L. “Butch” Otter, who’s running for his third term, and State Sen. Russ Fulcher, who’s challenging from the right (and has the endorsement of tea party congresscritter Raul Labrador). Both of them are rightwing enough that in a normal setting, we might find something either said a little astonishing. But they actually seem like a couple of bland Rotarians in comparison to the two guys from Delta House: Perennial candidates Walt Bayes who likes the Bible a whole bunch (and once campaigned on a platform of separate bathrooms for straights and gays), and Harley Brown, a biker, former Navy Seabee, and all-around loony who is proud of his hilarious “Harleyisms,” which include some hilarious ethnic jokes — he doesn’t believe in “political correctness,” or any other kind, for that matter. Read more on Idaho Had A Gubernatorial Primary Debate, And Magic Happened…
  can she survive driving on the left?

Michele Bachmann Will Teach These Oxford Dummies A Thing Or Two About How To Debate

Fresh off her vigorous defense of Free American Free Straight and Billionaire People from the bullying of the gays and the liberals who are shutting down freedom wherever they find it, Michele Bachmann is headed to Jolly Old Kidney Pie Land to share her unique language stylings with the Oxford Union, England’s most famous debating society, at least for Muggles. She will be speaking Friday on the exciting topic “Seeds of Progress: The struggle between innovation and bureaucracy.” We are guessing that she will be on the side of “innovation” for this one, because everyone who works in government is a leech who gets in the way of economic progress, according to the former IRS employee who has been in Congress since 2007 and previously served in the Minnesota Senate from 2001-2007. Read more on Michele Bachmann Will Teach These Oxford Dummies A Thing Or Two About How To Debate…
  charles in charge

Charles Krauthammer Has Found The Real Killers Of Science: People Who Believe In Climate Change

Charles Krauthammer is actually really good at his job, if you define “his job” as “to disguise establishment-serving nonsense and lies as pithy nuggets of wisdom.” Check it out: “The debate is settled,” asserted propagandist-in-chief Barack Obama in his latest State of the Union address. “Climate change is a fact.” Really? There is nothing more anti-scientific than the very idea that science is settled, static, impervious to challenge. How’s your petard? Hoisted? You bet it is, because Charlie K has turned the tables on you, dumb liberal! Science can simply not ever be settled, which is why it’s called the theory of evolution,  the chlorophyll postulate, and the when you have to poop, it means poop is going to come out of your hypothesis. Why are climate scientists so anti-science? Of course Charles Krauthammer isn’t dumb — just like you, he’s totally worried about CO2 emissions! No, really! Read more on Charles Krauthammer Has Found The Real Killers Of Science: People Who Believe In Climate Change…
  four and twenty blackburns baked in a nye

Marsha Blackburn Wins Climate Change ‘Debate’ With Bill Nye! (Does Not Fling Actual Poo)

So the slightly hyped Big Climate Change “Debate” between science education advocate and teevee guy Bill Nye and Tennessee congresspillock Marsha Blackburn on Sunday’s Meet The Press actually turned out to be a whopping 13-minute segment, which was short enough that no real details could be explained, yet long enough to make a viewer yearn for the sweet release of death. The only good thing to be said for it was that host David Gregory framed it as a debate on climate change policy, although of course Blackburn predictably insisted the very question of human-caused climate change is still open. We suspect that in 2114 people boating through the canals of Nuevo Miami will still be arguing about whether the evidence is sufficient yet. Read more on Marsha Blackburn Wins Climate Change ‘Debate’ With Bill Nye! (Does Not Fling Actual Poo)…
  blackburn singin' in the dread of nye

Bill Nye, Science Guy, To Perform His Most Dangerous Feat Yet

Fresh off his not-really-a-debate (though he won) appearance with creationist Ken Ham, Science Guy Bill Nye will take on another leading proponent of nonscience, Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn, in a not-really-a-debate appearance on this Sunday’s Meet The Press on NBC. As we said about the Ham On Nye show, it’s not really going to prove anything, and more to the point, unlike questions like “is Neil Degrasse Tyson cuter than Carl Sagan?” or “Was Alexander Hamilton a good President?”* science is simply not a matter of opinion. On the other hand, Bill Nye is super awesome and probably better at communicating about science to a popluar audience than a real climate scientist would be, and we think it will be fun to watch him take Blackburn’s illogic apart. So as infotainment, it will be worth watching, even though we share most of Wonket alumnus Alex Pareene’s qualms that by even holding the “debate,” Meet the Press “is responsible for taking the anti-science side seriously enough to present it as a legitimate and defensible view.” But hell, that’s pretty much where a lot of viewers already are. They could only benefit from hearing it from a guy who’s pretty adept at explaining how science works, and it’s not like refusing to engage the anti-science crowd has shown them to be illegitimate. Better to take their nonsense apart and make it clear why it’s nonsense. Read more on Bill Nye, Science Guy, To Perform His Most Dangerous Feat Yet…
  were you there?

Bill Nye, Expert At Explaining Science To Children, Finds It Too Complicated For A Creationist

So we went ahead and watched that Bill Nye and Ken Ham joint appearance — really, “debate” is the entirely wrong word — hosted by the Creation Museum in Kentucky yesterday. If you want to see it, it is on the YouTubes. Half of it was fairly entertaining, and the other half can be effectively simulated by teaching a small feathery dinosaur descendant to repeat “Bible,” “Were you there?” and “secularist” at you for roughly an hour. As we noted yesterday, there are plenty of good reasons why scientists shouldn’t debate creationists, and those reasons were on display in last night’s spectacle. Ken Ham, the founder of the Creation Museum and perpetrator of the “Were you there?” strategy of teaching small Christian children to become insufferable, was about as coherent as you’d expect, attempting to redefine science into “observational science” — stuff you can measure through direct observation — and “historical science,” a completely made-up creationist term that means “No one saw dinosaurs evolve into birds so it’s just a story.” Read more on Bill Nye, Expert At Explaining Science To Children, Finds It Too Complicated For A Creationist…