March 7, 2014
The race to fill Ted Kennedy’s ample seat in the Senate is heating up like a corpse in the summer tide! (Sorry, Denby.) Curt Schilling, world champion quarterback for Boston’s “Mighty Ducks,” loves George W. Bush and jacking off in bloodstained sock, so he is qualified to be the Republican candidate. Schilling, heir to his […]
There is a formula for instant success in our nation’s great health care town halls: So you, the congressperson, mention some constituent whose medical condition would definitely take a turn for the worse in the event of the mere existence of the public option. What follows is death—irrecoverable death by death panel. Maybe even you […]
Getting tired of THIS STUFF, aren’t you? Well, suck it up. At this point, we want to pressure Obama and Congress to incorporate as much rationing and Death Paneling as possible into a final health care bill, with very loose criteria. You’re eligible for Medicare, human? KILL. This will be the single determining criterion. It […]
By the Comics Curmudgeon It has come to our attention here at Cartoon Violence that many of you do not understand the difficult-to-understand details of the multiple mutually contradictory Obamacare plans currently weaving their way through the opaque, byzantine legislative process! This makes it more likely that you’ll fall for one of the terrible lies […]
Trig will live after all! Suck a beanpole, Obama, because the Senate Finance Committee will apparently strip from its terrible hell-bill the provision to reimburse Medicare doctors who provide end-of-life counseling sessions. Chuck Grassley is the force behind this stripping, because holy shit, he had no idea that Obama was planning on killing him (“grandma”) […]
YES WE WILL LIVEBLOG PRESIDENT OBAMA’S TOWN HALL WITH PITCHFORK-WIELDING MOBS AT 1PM EASTERN: As if you had to ask. Go get yourself some cut-rate Canadian oxycontin and we’ll see you back here in half an hour.