Tag: death panels

America’s Manure Crisis Finally Hits Home

After losing the meeting with his appointed death panel (cancer), a brave Houston man speaks out from beyond the grave to stop Barry Hussein. Sen. Ron Johnson says that Obamacare is the greatest assault on freedom in his lifetime,...

National Zoo Death Panel Murders Brave Bald Eagle

HMM, SYMBOLISM: "Sam, an elderly female bald eagle who had lived at the Smithsonian’s National Zoo since 2003, was euthanized by officials on Dec. 31, authorities said." First the Smithsonian lets ants just walk all over a crucifix like...

Sarah Palin Is the Only Real Death Panel

Way back in the summer of 2009, your Sarah Palin was busy scaring the shit out of The Stupids (i.e., her base) by claiming that the gubmint wanted to vampire-stake Nana in her hospice bed, for fun. Thanks to...

Senior Citizens Nearly Kill Each Other Over Campaign Yard Signs

Some old people in the Chicago suburb of Wilmette went bonkers on each other because of political candidate signs on somebody's lawn. While the brutal old-on-old violence occurred back on October 4, it is just now reaching the news...

Activist Federal Judge: ObamaKKKare Death Panels Are Constitutional

In perhaps the most important decision since Roe v. Wade or maybe even Thomas Jefferson v. Illegitimate Slave Children, a federal judge upheld Barack Obama's sinister "health insurance for everyone" death pyramid scheme. Legal scholars around the world are...

Lazy Suburban Death Panels of the Future

Looking for visions of a hellish future where every American has health insurance, gasoline costs ten dollars a gallon, and nature has largely reclaimed the exurbs from the strip malls and McMansions? If so, Universal Coverage by Daniel Putkowski...

Fox News Encourages Old Poor People To Try ‘Photoshop’

Cable channel Fox News needs content for its website, but of course Fox News stories consist of some video clips from a space movie, a weird chart with random numbers, and a couple of words like "socialist." Tough to...

John McCain Will Repeal Health Care Reform, Through Magic, If You Send Him Money

A pathetic, amoral piece of garbage who is utterly terrified of losing his fat-cat Senate privileges, that's John McCain: "I believe we must repeal this bill immediately. I am currently working in every way possible on your behalf to...

Some Pro Sports Performer Wants To Be Ted Kennedy

The race to fill Ted Kennedy's ample seat in the Senate is heating up like a corpse in the summer tide! (Sorry, Denby.) Curt Schilling, world champion quarterback for Boston's "Mighty Ducks," loves George W. Bush and jacking off...

The Chilling Story Of A Health Care Town Hall That, For Like Thirty Seconds, Featured Fact-Based Dissent

There is a formula for instant success in our nation's great health care town halls: So you, the congressperson, mention some constituent whose medical condition would definitely take a turn for the worse in the event of the mere...

A Children’s Treasury Of Insane Old People That Zeke Emanuel Should Euthanize, In Dallas

Getting tired of THIS STUFF, aren't you? Well, suck it up. At this point, we want to pressure Obama and Congress to incorporate as much rationing and Death Paneling as possible into a final health care bill, with very...

Horrifying Health Care Myths, Debunked!

By the Comics Curmudgeon It has come to our attention here at Cartoon Violence that many of you do not understand the difficult-to-understand details of the multiple mutually contradictory Obamacare plans currently weaving their way through the opaque, byzantine legislative...

Senate Finance Committee Killing Death Panels?

Trig will live after all! Suck a beanpole, Obama, because the Senate Finance Committee will apparently strip from its terrible hell-bill the provision to reimburse Medicare doctors who provide end-of-life counseling sessions. Chuck Grassley is the force behind this...

YES WE WILL LIVEBLOG PRESIDENT OBAMA'S TOWN HALL WITH PITCHFORK-WIELDING MOBS AT 1PM EASTERN: As if you had to ask. Go get yourself some cut-rate Canadian oxycontin and we'll see you back here in half an hour.