Tag: death panels

Trump Idiots Pretty Sure Beyoncé To Blame For Donald Trump Being So Rapey

It's so obvious, and if you can't see it, you're probably IN ON THE CONSPIRACY.
That works for political careers and reputations, too.

Paul Ryan Releases GOP Plan To Replace Obamacare With Awesome New Plan Someday

The Republicans finally have a plan to replace Obamacare! It's really more of a wish list for brainstorming what a plan might look like, after some planning.
Happy birthday, you young thing!

Happy 54th, President Obama! You’re Still The Kenyan Muslim Infiltrator OF OUR HEARTS!

On this day 54 years ago, the long foretold Barack Hussein Obama was born in a remote field in Indokenyamuslimstan, the love child of the Prophet Muhammad and Beyoncé, who is a lot older than she looks. Everybody was so...
Sad Jebbers is sadness.

Jeb Bush Will Murder Medicare And Your Mee-Maw

Are you an Old? If so, then this post is not for you, because Jeb Bush doesn't want to murder your Medicare. But are you a card-carrying member of the Future Olds Of America club? US TOO! Do you...
OK, it's a little heavyhanded. Except maybe compared to passing a law to keep someone on life support forever.

Jeb Bush Gonna Death-Panel Americans To Death, With Death Panels!

Probable presidential candidate John Ellis Bush ("Jeb") Bush, fresh off his recent interview bragging about how he saved Terri Schiavo's life real good 13 years ago, has given some thought to how future governors can be saved from the...
Fred Stein, 'Children reading newspaper' 1936

At The New York Times, A Slow News Day

Things have quieted down in Ferguson and we have a holiday weekend, so the New York Times is full of analysis-type stuff today. There's a pretty good piece on Democrats' attempts to mobilize African-American voters who are outraged over...
cornholder

A Children’s Treasury Of Stupid Pictures From The Koch Brothers’ Anti-Obamacare Carnival

Last time we checked in with the Koch brothers' frathouse spinoff Generation Opportunity, they were attempting to convince DC's underemployed youth to shun Obamacare by drowning them in rail drinks and cheap sunglasses. Now that it's summertime, like everyone...

Barack Obama Thinks Obamacare Is So Cool Just Because Millions Of People Have Insurance Now Who Didn’t Before

Well that sounded a lot more like the Barack Obama we know and like. Barry gave the numbers -- 7.1 million enrollees -- and said that even though his failed healthcare policy had totally failed, he wasn't going to...

Obama Will Murder All Your Porn And Cat Videos, Too Bad, Suck It

OMG! Did you guys hear that the Internet is being given away? Quick! Download all the dirtiest porn you can, because THE INTERNET IS ABOUT TO GO AWAY FOREVER! YES, GODDAMIT, THIS DOES TOO DESERVE ALL CAPS BECAUSE THE...

PolitiFact Tackles Hot-Button Issue Of Obamacare Beheadings

It would be so exciting to live in a country where "Obamacare Medical Codes Confirm: Execution by Beheading To Be Implemented in America", but PolitiFact says no, we cannot live there because there is a fire on its pants....

Sarah Palin Has Answer To Syria: ‘Bomb Obamacare’

Wow, are you losers still caring about that Syria thing? That is so dumb. Syria is this whole other country, and you can't even see it from your house! Besides, Allah will sort it out. Foreign policy expert Sarah...

Ted Cruz’s Dad Seems Nice

Hey, remember Ted Cruz's Jerk Baby? She was fun! We dug her! Well, move over, Jerk Baby, you are now officially the Chillest Member of Ted Cruz's Family Of Funtimes Friends. Here is Ted Cruz's dad, via the Des...

In Ploy To Weaken Obamacare, GOP Geniuses Give Obama More Power Over Obamacare

Back in November, the United States held an election that you might have heard about. And in that election one B. Barry Bamz trounced the ever loving shit out of some dude, what was his name, the guy with...

Ready The FEMA Camps: Obama Coming For Your Rascal So You Can’t Run Or Hide

They tried to warn us. "Government out of my Medicare!" they said. "Something about socialized medicine and Dr. Mengele," said they. But did we listen? Or did we just howl with laughter? WELL NO ONE'S LAUGHING NOW, BUDDY. And...

Nice Ann Romney Dragged Before Obamacare Death Panel, On Twitter

Man, you leave Twitter for an hour, and when you come back an entire 5-season telenovela has already played out. Now? Someone has taken that nice Ann Romney and shoved her before an Obamacare Death Panel! (If you are...

Death Panel Roller Coaster

Here's something, to kill you with, after the Retirement Age is changed to "when you cannot stand up anymore, and your hands are gnarled wads of bone and skin flaps," and Paul Ryan needs some way to lure you...