death panels
In Ploy To Weaken Obamacare, GOP Geniuses Give Obama More Power Over Obamacare
Back in November, the United States held an election that you might have heard about. And in that election one B. Barry Bamz trounced the ever loving shit out of some dude, what was his name, the guy with the hair? Unfortunately, the hair guy’s party held on to the House of Representatives and its [...]
Ready The FEMA Camps: Obama Coming For Your Rascal So You Can’t Run Or Hide
They tried to warn us. “Government out of my Medicare!” they said. “Something about socialized medicine and Dr. Mengele,” said they. But did we listen? Or did we just howl with laughter? WELL NO ONE’S LAUGHING NOW, BUDDY. And that is because Barack Hussein Nobumer has criminalized being old, in the form of raiding The [...]
Nice Ann Romney Dragged Before Obamacare Death Panel, On Twitter
Man, you leave Twitter for an hour, and when you come back an entire 5-season telenovela has already played out. Now? Someone has taken that nice Ann Romney and shoved her before an Obamacare Death Panel! (If you are ever before an Obamacare Death Panel, you better pray to your uncaring God that check-kiting grifter [...]
Death Panel Roller Coaster
Here’s something, to kill you with, after the Retirement Age is changed to “when you cannot stand up anymore, and your hands are gnarled wads of bone and skin flaps,” and Paul Ryan needs some way to lure you to the Death Panel: Free roller coaster! And it ends in death. Courtesy of our favorite [...]
America’s Manure Crisis Finally Hits Home
After losing the meeting with his appointed death panel (cancer), a brave Houston man speaks out from beyond the grave to stop Barry Hussein. [KRIV] Sen. Ron Johnson says that Obamacare is the greatest assault on freedom in his lifetime, which is true because McCarthyism and Jim Crow were just for laughs. [WSJ] Shakespearean commenter: [...]
National Zoo Death Panel Murders Brave Bald Eagle
HMM, SYMBOLISM: “Sam, an elderly female bald eagle who had lived at the Smithsonian’s National Zoo since 2003, was euthanized by officials on Dec. 31, authorities said.” First the Smithsonian lets ants just walk all over a crucifix like they own it, and then their death panel decides to kill granny bald eagle, America’s greatest [...]
Senior Citizens Nearly Kill Each Other Over Campaign Yard Signs
Some old people in the Chicago suburb of Wilmette went bonkers on each other because of political candidate signs on somebody’s lawn. While the brutal old-on-old violence occurred back on October 4, it is just now reaching the news media because, honestly, elderly people seem to always be going on about something and who has [...]
Activist Federal Judge: ObamaKKKare Death Panels Are Constitutional
In perhaps the most important decision since Roe v. Wade or maybe even Thomas Jefferson v. Illegitimate Slave Children, a federal judge upheld Barack Obama’s sinister “health insurance for everyone” death pyramid scheme. Legal scholars around the world are puzzled as to why the judge ruled in favor of Communism and against the patriot-plaintiffs, a [...]
Lazy Suburban Death Panels of the Future
Looking for visions of a hellish future where every American has health insurance, gasoline costs ten dollars a gallon, and nature has largely reclaimed the exurbs from the strip malls and McMansions? If so, Universal Coverage by Daniel Putkowski is calling to you! A dystopian novel “in the tradition of 1984 and Animal Farm” (says [...]
Fox News Encourages Old Poor People To Try ‘Photoshop’
Cable channel Fox News needs content for its website, but of course Fox News stories consist of some video clips from a space movie, a weird chart with random numbers, and a couple of words like “socialist.” Tough to turn that into a few paragraphs on a web page. And that’s why America’s sad old [...]
John McCain Will Repeal Health Care Reform, Through Magic, If You Send Him Money
A pathetic, amoral piece of garbage who is utterly terrified of losing his fat-cat Senate privileges, that’s John McCain: “I believe we must repeal this bill immediately. I am currently working in every way possible on your behalf to accomplish this. However, I am facing a tough reelection campaign. If I am not reelected this [...]
Some Pro Sports Performer Wants To Be Ted Kennedy
The race to fill Ted Kennedy’s ample seat in the Senate is heating up like a corpse in the summer tide! (Sorry, Denby.) Curt Schilling, world champion quarterback for Boston’s “Mighty Ducks,” loves George W. Bush and jacking off in bloodstained sock, so he is qualified to be the Republican candidate. Schilling, heir to his [...]
The Chilling Story Of A Health Care Town Hall That, For Like Thirty Seconds, Featured Fact-Based Dissent
There is a formula for instant success in our nation’s great health care town halls: So you, the congressperson, mention some constituent whose medical condition would definitely take a turn for the worse in the event of the mere existence of the public option. What follows is death—irrecoverable death by death panel. Maybe even you [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Insane Old People That Zeke Emanuel Should Euthanize, In Dallas
Getting tired of THIS STUFF, aren’t you? Well, suck it up. At this point, we want to pressure Obama and Congress to incorporate as much rationing and Death Paneling as possible into a final health care bill, with very loose criteria. You’re eligible for Medicare, human? KILL. This will be the single determining criterion. It [...]
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