death panels

Last time we checked in with the Koch brothers’ frathouse spinoff Generation Opportunity, they were attempting to convince DC’s underemployed youth to shun ObamaCare by drowning them in rail drinks and cheap sunglasses. Now that it’s summertime, like everyone else they want to be outside having fun instead of in some dank basement bar, so […]

Well that sounded a lot more like the Barack Obama we know and like. Barry gave the numbers — 7.1 million enrollees — and said that even though his failed healthcare policy had totally failed, he wasn’t going to let anyone repeal it, because he’s just a bastard that way. “But the debate over repealing […]

OMG! Did you guys hear that the Internet is being given away? Quick! Download all the dirtiest porn you can, because THE INTERNET IS ABOUT TO GO AWAY FOREVER! YES, GODDAMIT, THIS DOES TOO DESERVE ALL CAPS BECAUSE THE INTERNET WORLD IS COMING TO AN END. At least, that’s what we are hearing. Are you […]

It would be so exciting to live in a country where “Obamacare Medical Codes Confirm: Execution by Beheading To Be Implemented in America”, but PolitiFact says no, we cannot live there because there is a fire on its pants. Why is PolitiFact so mean to our childlike sense of wonder and our precious need to […]

Wow, are you losers still caring about that Syria thing? That is so dumb. Syria is this whole other country, and you can’t even see it from your house! Besides, Allah will sort it out. Foreign policy expert Sarah Palin already told you that weeks ago! So now that’s all resolved, let’s please get back […]

Hey, remember Ted Cruz’s Jerk Baby? She was fun! We dug her! Well, move over, Jerk Baby, you are now officially the Chillest Member of Ted Cruz’s Family Of Funtimes Friends. Here is Ted Cruz’s dad, via the Des Moines Register, blah blah blahing about Fidel Castro and stuff, and how Barack Obama is Castro […]

Back in November, the United States held an election that you might have heard about. And in that election one B. Barry Bamz trounced the ever loving shit out of some dude, what was his name, the guy with the hair? Unfortunately, the hair guy’s party held on to the House of Representatives and its […]

They tried to warn us. “Government out of my Medicare!” they said. “Something about socialized medicine and Dr. Mengele,” said they. But did we listen? Or did we just howl with laughter? WELL NO ONE’S LAUGHING NOW, BUDDY. And that is because Barack Hussein Nobumer has criminalized being old, in the form of raiding The […]

Man, you leave Twitter for an hour, and when you come back an entire 5-season telenovela has already played out. Now? Someone has taken that nice Ann Romney and shoved her before an Obamacare Death Panel! (If you are ever before an Obamacare Death Panel, you better pray to your uncaring God that check-kiting grifter […]

Here’s something, to kill you with, after the Retirement Age is changed to “when you cannot stand up anymore, and your hands are gnarled wads of bone and skin flaps,” and Paul Ryan needs some way to lure you to the Death Panel: Free roller coaster! And it ends in death. Courtesy of our favorite […]

After losing the meeting with his appointed death panel (cancer), a brave Houston man speaks out from beyond the grave to stop Barry Hussein. [KRIV] Sen. Ron Johnson says that Obamacare is the greatest assault on freedom in his lifetime, which is true because McCarthyism and Jim Crow were just for laughs. [WSJ] Shakespearean commenter: […]

HMM, SYMBOLISM: “Sam, an elderly female bald eagle who had lived at the Smithsonian’s National Zoo since 2003, was euthanized by officials on Dec. 31, authorities said.” First the Smithsonian lets ants just walk all over a crucifix like they own it, and then their death panel decides to kill granny bald eagle, America’s greatest […]

Way back in the summer of 2009, your Sarah Palin was busy scaring the shit out of The Stupids (i.e., her base) by claiming that the gubmint wanted to vampire-stake Nana in her hospice bed, for fun. Thanks to a new Medicare regulation effective January 1, we will soon relive the halcyon days of snowbilly […]

Some old people in the Chicago suburb of Wilmette went bonkers on each other because of political candidate signs on somebody’s lawn. While the brutal old-on-old violence occurred back on October 4, it is just now reaching the news media because, honestly, elderly people seem to always be going on about something and who has […]

In perhaps the most important decision since Roe v. Wade or maybe even Thomas Jefferson v. Illegitimate Slave Children, a federal judge upheld Barack Obama’s sinister “health insurance for everyone” death pyramid scheme. Legal scholars around the world are puzzled as to why the judge ruled in favor of Communism and against the patriot-plaintiffs, a […]