death

Important National Review Online pundit Kathryn Jean Lopez only really gets excited twice a year: When she makes up another excuse to get people to send her a bunch of porn, and when Thanksgiving comes around so she can post a Real American recipe involving ten smashed-up anus burgers stuck up the body cavity of […]

Important National Review Online pundit Kathryn Jean Lopez only really gets excited twice a year: When she makes up another excuse to get people to send her a bunch of porn, and when Thanksgiving comes around so she can post a Real American recipe involving ten smashed-up anus burgers stuck up the body cavity of […]

So there’s this Maryland referendum coming up for a vote on November 6, see, and it’s about letting gay people marry each other. You know, so they can get those sweet tax deductions, and visit each other in the hospital, and share health insurance, and commit publicly to the one they love — all that […]

The Chick-fil-A company, which produces these salty waffle fries and breaded/fried chickenish sandwiches with two pickles apiece that serve as delicious on-the-go college meals but otherwise just give you hella diabetes, is notoriously owned by a prominent family in the religious social conservative set. Its president last week admitted the company was “guilty as charged” […]

Tuberculosis used to be cool, man, back when it was called “consumption” and badasses like Doc Holliday died from it. Everything used to cooler back in the day when people just dropped dead in the street from disease and whatnot, right? Well, if that’s the kind of thrill you’re after, set your GPS for Jacksonville […]

Oh, man, this is what happens when Donald Trump reads the liberal media! It just reaffirms all of his most terrifying fever-dreams. For instance, the New York Times reports that Barack Obama is implementing a policy of containment and saber-rattling against Iran, which is pretty much the same policy that George W. Bush engaged in […]

Good morning, liberals! Did you spend yesterday carefully poring over the extremely long The New York Times article about the list of people the administration carefully compiles, personally selected by the President (except in those cases when they’re not!) to be killed by missiles from flying death robots? Probably you didn’t, because it’s obviously one […]

Beastie Boys’ “Fight for your Right” is blasting from @wolfblitzercnn‘s office right now! #MCA — Eric Weisbrod (@EricWeisbrod) May 4, 2012 Everyone is so sad about the death of the Beastie Boys’ Adam “MCA” Yauch from cancer today, just everyone. Wolf Blitzer is playing that song. Wolf Blitzer is playing the Beastie Boys, in his […]

See those ugly ass swirly neon hair dryers/butt fluffers? Well they just got busted, like suckers, at the illegal ports of Miami and Los Angeles. Thousands of them. 13,000+! Apparently if you use these things to dry your hair or fluff your butt you get electrocuted and then explode, maybe. Isn’t that the whole fun […]

Newt Gingrich claims to think big thoughts that no one else thinks, when really all he’s done in his career is speak or rather be Speakery or historiany, which does not require thought. Case in point: back when his hair was big enough to better shield his ears from hearing the inanity/insanity of what he […]

How safe are those “backskatter” radiation machines, again? Completely safe, of course! But the Department of Homeland Security is just going to do a little check-and-see, just in case thousands and thousands of TSA airport security workers are about to be diagnosed with terrible cancers that will result, we assume, in the biggest lawsuit in […]

R.I.P.  9:00 am December 16, 2011

Hitchens On Hacks

by Greer Mansfield

Christopher Hitchens is dead. His essays were feisty and elegant, well within the great tradition of combative English pamphleteering. He was usually provocative, often dazzling in his historical and literary allusions, and rarely boring. He only became a bore, really, in his final decade. His ironic and playful mind became (at times) monomaniacal, first about […]

Herman Cain is a pumpkin-headed creepy narcissist businessman who likes to repeat single-digit numbers and say stupid things. For reasons he cannot begin to explain, this Washington lobbyist and shit-food merchant allowed the release of a “web commercial” that shows a dirty old man saying weird things about Herman Cain and then melodramatically smoking a […]

Time and again since Barack Obama took office, “severe weather” has been blamed for the destruction of many beautiful old trees all around the White House grounds. Why does this socialist Muslim president hate our nation’s trees so much? As an example of why magazines should not have websites full of cutesy bullshit blog posts, […]

Now in his sixth decade as the world’s preeminent expert on U.S. foreign policy, retired Cuban president Fidel Castro writes in his newspaper column (in Cuba) that the Obama Administration is about to attack … Iran. One more war against one more Muslim country can’t make things worse, right? Right? Oh, Iran maybe has nuclear […]