Wonkette

Fringe right-wing mouthpieces Sean Hannity (Fox News) and Katherine Jean Lopez (National Review) have a message for Republican Senator and sex-criminal David “Diaperman” Vitter: Time to go, scumbag! Really, when the conservative media is saying “Pack it up, Pampers,” not even your power-crazed wife can save your political career. MORE »

While sane people are laughing at the embarrassing exploits of sex criminal, infantile fetishist and family-values Senator David Vitter, actual evangelical fundamentalist Christian Republicans are once again trying to make sense of a world in which the sickest motherfuckers are all evangelical fundamentalist Christian Republicans who, whenever they’re not paying a hooker to dress them in diapers, are calling for the “immoral” to be thrown out of political office, the military, schools, the workplace, etc. MORE »

Who will weep for David Vitter’s chopped-off penis? These people, apparently. MORE »

Jim Nicholson, Secretary of Veterans Affairs, resigned in sudden and unexplained disgrace today. Hell, it might be for the Walter Reed scandal — but that was months ago, wasn’t it? Why wait? Oh, and there was that laptop full of sensitive information thing, but that was last year! Nicholson might be resigning for reasons of simple mismanagement, but the timing is odd, unless there’s something even worse on the way. Which, we’re not saying, we’re just saying that right up there is the number of a Cleveland VA hospital as it appears in the phone records of Deborah Jeane Palfrey. Cummer ‘07!

Cleveland VA’s Controversial New Treatment. Vets Walk Again With BJ’s From DC Hookers! [Buckeye State Blog]

Is there a Pulitzer for “most revealing photo of a Republican political couple”? If so, we nominate this AP picture in today’s Washington Post of GOP Senator and Giuliani Campaign Southern Regional Chairman David “Diaperman” Vitter and his psycho wife Wendy. An 8×12 print of this should be given to freshmen members of the House and Senate — put it on the cover of the Welcome to Congress orientation guide! Because this is the inevitable end product of a Washington marriage: The stupid creepy diaper-wearing politician stands dumb-eyed and shamed while his crazy-eyed horse-mouthed power-mad wife yells at reporters because her idiot whoremonger husband is repeatedly caught at the whorehouse.

Hey, David “Diaperman” Vitter is on the teevee, saying a bunch of bullshit. Will he man up and admit anything? No. He won’t take questions, won’t talk about his diaper problems, and won’t resign. Wow. Meet the new Republicans. This is the same morality-free douchesack who demanded Clinton quit over a blowjob, which was obviously an impeachable offense. MORE »

Remember Jack Burkman, the MySpace creep who propositions girls and offers them $$$ if they’ll just come to the Mayflower Hotel and let him fuck them? Well, he finally found somebody who would take the money: Hookers! Jack Burkman, the GOP strategist and conservative talking head who used to be seen on the cable news shows a lot more often before his MySpace sleazery was exposed, is also on the DC Madam’s phone list! MORE »

Hey everybody, what if your favorite newspaper reporter paid to have sex with a hooker? Oh, you don’t have a favorite newspaper journalist? What about copy editors? Just think what would happen if one of the top copy editors got caught using the services of an escort agency. Oh, right. Nothing would happen. Nobody would care. MORE »

Louisiana Senator David Vitter admitted yesterday to paying ladies to have sex with him and being dumb enough to use a traceable number to call up the whorehouse. Vitter’s whore love was actually reported in Salon and the Lousiana Weekly three years ago, so it’s understandable that no one in Washington had any idea. Oh, and speaking of that Salon story, here’s Mrs. Senator Vitter’s charmingly sociopathic take on Family Values and The Sanctity of Marriage: MORE »

Oh check it out here are people who can afford hookers. [Deborah Jeane Palfrey]

Everybody knows Louisiana politicians are really corrupt versions of the already incredibly corrupt DC politicians, so it comes as no surprise that one of them shows up on the DC Madam’s list. The surprise is that Republican Senator David Vitter admits to paying to screw some gals. Well done, Senator Vitter! We appreciate your candor, after you got caught. MORE »

What else could anyone conclude from this bit of weirdness, in today’s Roll Call:

Vice President Cheney isn’t not on the phone records of the alleged D.C. Madam, who is accused of running a high-price call-girl ring in Washington, the accused madam’s lawyer said on Tuesday.

Hey, Brian Ross! This is Wonkette, calling you on your prop phone. Why won’t you report that Cheney is the “former CEO” in McLean who’s on the DC Madam’s list? MORE »

Not every Adult Services Business is a fancy operation like DC Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s escort service. The difference between $300 outcall and $275 incall is illustrated by this horrifying photograph and the accompanying news story:

HAGERSTOWN, Md. — An alleged dominatrix on the lam since her indictment in 2001 has been caught and returned to Virginia to face charges of prostitution and crimes against nature, police said. Patricia Helen Meehan, 55, also is charged with keeping a bawdy house and manufacturing marijuana ….

Meehan allegedly told a man who was considering buying a home in the neighborhood that she was a dominatrix and charged $275 an hour for her services. When police searched Meehan’s home, they found bondage instruments and sexual aids, Kennedy said.

So be careful out there, or you might wind up in a “bawdy house” where alchemists are committing “crimes against nature” such as “manufacturing marijuana” right next to where they keep the “sexual AIDS.” MORE »

* “I’ve never paid for sex (only because I didn’t know where to find it when I was 15), but in the marketplace, I assume $300 gets you the Ferrari, or at least the Corvette. But the questions remain: What does a $300-an-hour prostitute look like? What do you get for the money? Is there a charge by the minute?” [City Desk]
* “I’m gonna ride that clock like a pony.” [Eavesdrop DC]
* “Somebody please get Christopher Hitchens a hip flask. The poor man was taking slugs from one of those little mini bottles of what looked like vodka. It was pretty clear that he desperately wanted to take a bigger belt from the bottle but had to pace himself because of its small size.” [Scribbles and Scoundrels]
* A poem for Dunkin Donuts Megan. [Craigslist]