* Convenience, Value, and Service for speed freaks with just a little Kafka-esque hassle for everyone else. [Cruel Sommer] MORE »

You came through again, everyone. This week’s sightings are all over both the map and the stratified Washington hierarchy. Helen Thomas apparently likes to eat with the kewl kids, even if she’s just gumming it. Kevin Nealon, Newt Gingrich, and Marion Barry pull some nice trim. Ted Koppelhas a death wish. Morgan Spurlock keeps trying to supersize his career and Tom Friedman’s mustache of wisdom has nothing to do with Napoleon.

A whole rack more, as standard, after the jump.

Please don’t forget that Wonk’d is entirely tipster driven. So when you spot someone famous out there, make a note in your PDA, ’cause you’ll have other hazy memories to sort through in the morning. Once you feel that reminder buzzing you, email us here, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with the name of the celeb that you saw). Thanks!

And speaking of sights to see: YES, we are aware of the frightening photos of Katherine Harris “getting her cougar on” with a cute young college journalist. We will be blogging about them shortly.

MORE »

MORE »

• Knowing what the Redskins had invested in their white-on-white unis, why did the Eagles elect to take the field in their away greens? Washingtonian breaks down the superstitions. We say the Skins’ll keep on winning as long as Clinton Portis continues his multi-act hip-hop Fellini routine. [Washingtonian] MORE »

According to reports, Washington, DC’s Clown Prince of Crackiness and current Ward 8 Councilman Marion Barry was robbed at gunpoint last night by “some youths.” MORE »

• Tony Williams postpones vote on baseball stadium, the rumor being that he’s losing support on the DC Council. Peter Angelos and David Catania make for some odd — and scorchingly unattractive — bedfellows [Washington Post] MORE »

Smokers and libertarians across the District yesterday are crestfallen today with the news that the D.C. Council’s Committee on Health have decided to move a smoking ban bill out of committee that will ban smoking in all DC bars and restaurants by 2007 and move Christopher Hitchens that much closer to his inevitable nervous breakdown — which we comfortably predict will surpass Breaking Bonaduce in both sheer gut-punching horror and goggle-eyed incomprehensibility. MORE »