• David Vitter, who has racked up nearly a billion frequent whore miles, is On The Defensive, as Democrats are criticizing him for his earlier botched attempt to smuggle a bomb in his sneaker on an airplane. [CNN Political Ticker]
• Despite rumors and, arguably, logic to the contrary, embattled RNC Chairman Michael Steele and his little dog too are not going to be ousted! [Ben Smith]
• Seattle Police Chief R. Gil “Copyandpaste” Kerlikowske has been anointed Obama’s new drug czar. And guess what, all those marijuana legalization activists are just terribly upset that their Barry picked a cop for the part of drug czar instead of, uh, a notable marijuana user? [The Caucus]
• Oh good: Hillary Clinton staffers want to assure you that your gal Friday will run again in 2016. [Daily Intel]
• Barack O’Bama is Irish! But according to some “out” Irishpersons, he is hiding his true heritage lest people become confused about his ancestry. Hm. [Gawker]

Hooker-using diaper fetishist Senator David Vitter freaked out at Dulles airport after he missed his flight back to New Orleans. He arrived at his gate to discover that doors had closed and he could not board his flight. A normal person would say, “Oh well, can you try to get me on the next flight then?” but Senator Vitter yelled about how he was a senator and therefore endowed with special powers of douchebaggery. Then he opened the security door, which set off an alarm, and the airline employee he’d been chewing out was all Hey man that is really not cool, and David Vitter ran off like a pussy while the employee looked for a security guard. What an awful human. [Raw Story]

VITTER TELLS SENATOR TO RESIGN: Ha ha, why did David Vitter have to embarrass America and himself today by telling Roland Burris — another United States Senator — to resign, for ethics? Trash, both of them. Thank you to The Hill, though, for asking Vitter about the hilarious hypocrisy involved here and eliciting this response: “I honestly don’t know anybody who would compare these situations. They are dramatically different.” [The Hill]

HERE IS THE PORNO-GAL SENATE CAMPAIGN STORY WE POSTED A WEEK AGO: What, did CNN run this today or something? Anyway, porno gal Stormy Daniels vs. David Diaperman Vitter, maybe. Exciting! [It Is Here]

It’s hard to describe the hilarity of what David Vitter argued today in opposition to the stimulus package. If you enjoy his flatter-version-of-Al-Gore voice, feel free to watch all five minutes, but here’s the key line: “And so my amendment is very plain and very simple: it says no money in the stimulus bill can go to, will go to, under any circumstances, ACORN.” ECONOMY = FIXED. [YouTube]

Are you ready for the 2010 midterm election? No? Well too bad, because the campaign began on Nov. 5 of last year, and by the end of this summer you’ll probably hear about nothing else, so let’s start the Wonkette coverage with a nice story about this porn-star/stripper lady in Louisiana, and how she will maybe run against national embarrassment David Vitter, the hooker-lovin’ diaperman of the Senate. MORE »

The fact that David “Diaperfuck” Vitter is leading the Senate charge against the auto bailout makes Wonkette want to give as much money as possible to the automakers. Anyway, ha, this clip is a basket of Wonders. Like a frightening tool, Vitter is shown around :40, on the Senate floor, first saying that the bailout deal is “putting the cart before the horse.” Then he hesitates, looks down in fear, and resolves to go for it: “Isn’t that… [weird facial expression] to use a common phrase… just ass-backwards?” David that is just foul! MORE »

Republican Senator Larry Craig can’t walk past a public restroom without rushing in and offering to suck everybody’s cock. Republican Senator David Vitter spends all his time and money fucking hookers while shitting in his Depends. Imagine what these creeps might do if homosexual couples got married! MORE »

Hey guess who’s cosponsoring yet another one of these “protecting marriage from being forever defiled by hot gay action” Constitutional amendments? Two terrible hypocrites: an adulterous bathroom goblin and an adulterous diaper fetishist. Larry Craig and David Vitter should have gay diapered bathroom sex and then filibuster the crap out of each other, because that is what Jesus wanted when he wrote the Fruitcake Constitution. [GovTrack.us]

ISN’T THAT JUST SOME GAY DISEASE THOUGH?: According to Andrew Sullivan’s gay Congressional ESP, Sen. David Vitter, who likes to have diaper sex with prostitutes left and right, is the “only Senator opposing the removal of the HIV travel and immigration ban” from “The United States President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief,” a.k.a. PEPFAR. What kind of godforsaken world do we live in where David Vitter is the only guy who doesn’t want Americans getting AIDS from these foreign gays who come here and start coughing everywhere? [Andrew Sullivan]

“The Senate Ethics Committee declined Thursday to investigate Sen. David Vitter, who was linked to an escort service whose owner was convicted in federal court and subsequently committed suicide.” But of course. [AP]

Making a sadder story just a little bit sadder still, today the cops have revealed D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s suicide note. Instead of blowing the lid of Dick Cheney’s particular perversions or David Vitter’s favorite style of Depends (logo of Elmo in wheelchair, masturbating), the two-page note is a heartbreakingly dull list of trivialities in grade-school girlish handwriting. MORE »

WHERE’S PALFREY’S BOX OF EVIDENCE? “On one trip down the stairs, she lugged a 2-foot-wide box she suggested carried materials related to her infamous court case. ‘This is my evidence,’ she told Strizack before carrying it out the door.” [Orlando Sentinel]