Wonkette

Republican Senator Larry Craig can’t walk past a public restroom without rushing in and offering to suck everybody’s cock. Republican Senator David Vitter spends all his time and money fucking hookers while shitting in his Depends. Imagine what these creeps might do if homosexual couples got married! MORE »

Hey guess who’s cosponsoring yet another one of these “protecting marriage from being forever defiled by hot gay action” Constitutional amendments? Two terrible hypocrites: an adulterous bathroom goblin and an adulterous diaper fetishist. Larry Craig and David Vitter should have gay diapered bathroom sex and then filibuster the crap out of each other, because that is what Jesus wanted when he wrote the Fruitcake Constitution. [GovTrack.us]

ISN’T THAT JUST SOME GAY DISEASE THOUGH?: According to Andrew Sullivan’s gay Congressional ESP, Sen. David Vitter, who likes to have diaper sex with prostitutes left and right, is the “only Senator opposing the removal of the HIV travel and immigration ban” from “The United States President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief,” a.k.a. PEPFAR. What kind of godforsaken world do we live in where David Vitter is the only guy who doesn’t want Americans getting AIDS from these foreign gays who come here and start coughing everywhere? [Andrew Sullivan]

“The Senate Ethics Committee declined Thursday to investigate Sen. David Vitter, who was linked to an escort service whose owner was convicted in federal court and subsequently committed suicide.” But of course. [AP]

Making a sadder story just a little bit sadder still, today the cops have revealed D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s suicide note. Instead of blowing the lid of Dick Cheney’s particular perversions or David Vitter’s favorite style of Depends (logo of Elmo in wheelchair, masturbating), the two-page note is a heartbreakingly dull list of trivialities in grade-school girlish handwriting. MORE »

WHERE’S PALFREY’S BOX OF EVIDENCE? “On one trip down the stairs, she lugged a 2-foot-wide box she suggested carried materials related to her infamous court case. ‘This is my evidence,’ she told Strizack before carrying it out the door.” [Orlando Sentinel]

As America mourns the suspicious death of “D.C. Madam” Deborah Jeane Palfrey and gives up hope that anyone or anything can bring down Dick Cheney (or even David Vitter), let’s look back in anger at other recent suspicious suicides involving Our Federal Government. Did you know one of Palfrey’s escort-service contractor ladies also supposedly hanged herself? And what about all these FBI targets and mysterious CIA agents meeting weird, tragic ends? WTF, people, WTF? MORE »

And a sad story becomes sadder still: Deborah Jeane Palfrey was found hanging dead in a storage shed behind her mother’s Florida mobile home. Many pages of “handwritten suicide notes” were reportedly found in the shed by the Tarpon Springs police. Read the weird transcript, after the jump. MORE »

For the great crime of hooking up willing ladies with horny politicians, “D.C. Madam” Deborah Jeane Paltry was facing four to six years in prison, and today she was found dead in a shed behind her mother’s house in Florida. The men who paid for hookers through her service, such as Republican Senator David Vitter, have paid no price for their crimes, and they remain in power as the very people who make up the laws. Anyway, good-bye, Deborah Jeane. Though we didn’t know you at all, you had the grace to hold yourself while those around you crawled. They crawled out of the woodwork, and they whispered into your brain. They set you on the treadmill and then Dick Cheney had you killed. But Wonkette just sent your name to this moon spaceship, Deborah. Enjoy the ride to a better place! [Washington Post]

Yikes! Deborah Jeane Palfrey, a.k.a. the D.C. Madam who sold whores to David Vitter and other “famous” folks in the Washington area, has “apparently” committed suicide after being convicted of money laundering and racketeering. Police found her dead in her mother’s Tarpon Springs, Florida home today. She had not yet been sentenced. Maybe someone was going for a plea deal? WHAT IS HAPPENING? [Fox 13]

FAMOUS D.C. WHOREMONGER GUILTY OF SEX: This hot off the wire!: “D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey has been found guilty of racketeering and money laundering.” Palfrey was caught last year-ish for selling sexy ladies to David Vitter et al. from 1993 to 2006, and now she is going to jail while David Vitter is destroying parking lots with his Freedom. [WTOP]

Sweet Mormon Jesus, you must watch this immediately and then 500 more times. From the Gonzales Weekly Citizen newspaper in Lousiana: “A car carrying U.S. Sen. David Vitter ran into a No Parking sign in the Gonzales Police Department parking lot Monday morning as the senator was attempting to evade members of the media, including the Gonzales Weekly Citizen, following a Town Hall forum event at Gonzales City Hall.” He was trying to evade them because they kept asking questions about his boners. [YouTube, Gonzales Weekly Citizen]

Forget Silda Wall Spitzer — the biggest victim in the whole Eliot Spitzer Prostitute Sex Scandal 2k8 is Louisiana Sen. David Vitter, who has become the target of a heinous elitist liberal smear campaign. While Vitter had sex with a high-priced call girl, like Eliot Spitzer, he lashed out at reporters yesterday who suggested the incidents might be, say, similar? Vitter reminds us that they are not at all similar, because of his stance on The Illegals, and other such things. MORE »