Tag: david vitter

Hey You Sad, Sulking Liberals, Get Off Your Asses And DO THIS.

Let's get Louisiana Democrat Foster Campbell in the Senate, to fight against Trump Louisiana-style!
Two great tastes that go great together...

Senate Sunday: Louisiana Won’t Be Electing David Duke To US Senate. Sorry Racist Scumbags!

Son of a gun, too many idiots run, on the Bayou.
She's sassy!

Fox News’s Laura Ingraham Has Diaper Fantasies, And They Are Disgusting

Laura Ingraham can't wait to poop her pants. Don't you want to sit next to her?

Wonkette’s Favorite Half-Nutso Louisiana Cop Running For Congress, Hooray!

Wonkette is strangely in love with this tough-talking but oddly compassionate Louisiana cop. We're not sure he's really cut out to serve in Congress, but that's never stopped any candidate before.
Glamour Shots, maybe.

Dumb Duck Dynasty Dude Wants All The Queer-Lovers Dead, We Guess

It's been a while since we've had a legit reason to check in with Phil Robertson, the boy matriarch of the "Duck Dynasty" teevee family (motto: Like the Duggars, but furrier!). And breaking news, but he still hates him...
His legacy shredded.

New Louisiana Governor Will Fill Bobby Jindal’s Seat With So Much Gayness

Elections matter, y'all. With term-limited Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal leaving office to spend more time begging the Duck Dynasty guys to let him be one of their white friends, voters had a choice: Do we pick that nice gay-hatin'...
The reason for the season.

Here’s Your Turkey Drunk, Black Friday Hungover Weekly Top Ten. Read It NOW!

Good Saturday morning, Wonkers! You are so much fatter than last time we saw you, but that's OK, we are too. We hope your Thanksgiving was full of all the food you like, whether that's buckets of fried turducken...
He's crying because he's a LOSER.

David Vitter Trashed Like A Soiled Didy In Louisiana Governor’s Race

The David Vitter Era, if there ever was such a thing, is over. The rightwing senator from Louisiana was flushed away like so much doody in the state's runoff election for Governor Saturday, losing to Democrat John Bel Edwards...

Looks Like David Vitter Might Be Sleeping On The Couch Again

Sexy family values funtimes Sen. David Vitter and the Louisiana GOP want you to know SCARY BROWNS aren't just comin' to git ya, Bayou-Americans, THEY'RE ALREADY HERE: Just yesterday, David Vitter had to notify the Obama Administration that a Syrian refugee who had been...
Not sure if this is the judge or not, we just found it on the internet.

Arkansas Judge Invited Hot White Felon Boys Over For Sexytime. Totally Normal.

Judging is real tough because sometimes you're just going about your day and saying "GUILTY!" and "IT'S SLAMMER TIME, MAURICE," but then you get distracted by all the OMG CUTE WHITE GUY BUTTOCKS that came through your courtroom for...

Bobby Jindal Announces He Will Not Be President-Elect, Because That Has A Hyphen In It

In some late-breaking news that every last man, woman, and goat in America has been predicting for months, Louisiana Gov. Bobby "Don't hyphenate me, bro" Jindal announced on Fox News that he will stop pretending he might be president...

David Vitter Doesn’t Want Gay Sex Shoved Down His Throat When He Didn’t Even Pay For It

Less than a week from a likely humiliating defeat in the race for Louisiana governor, Sen. David Vitter (R-Whore House) is continuing to make dirty diapered love to that family values chicken he really ought to have left alone...

Duck Dynasty Dude: Who Among Us Hasn’t Banged Some Hookers? Vote David Vitter!

Oh, this isn't awkward AT ALL. After managing for years to avoid the subject of that time family values Sen. David Vitter got busted diddling prostitutes, his youthful adulterous indiscretion is now front and center in the race he's...
Check THIS out, kids!

Cure Your Crotch Weasels The Christian Way: Put A Ring On It!

There comes a time in every Christian youngster's life when he or she has a burning case of the crotch weasels and doesn't know what to do. Go to the doctor? Meh, that's for liberals. Go to church? Now you're...

Sen. David Vitter Sorry For Banging Hookers, He Can Be Louisiana Governor Now?

It's been a while since family values poster boy and Louisiana Sen. David Vitter (R-Brothel) has addressed the scurrilous accusations that he was a loyal customer of the DC Madam, because oh gosh, that was so long ago, and...
Except for this one franchise! They love the gays!

Chick-Fil-A Fails To Meet 2015 Gay-Bashing Quotient. Fix It, Jesus!

Oh no! The wingnut gay-hatin' fans of Chick-fil-A, whose bodies are composed of 96 percent trans fat and 4 percent Jesus meat, are dripping lard lumps of rage all over their everywheres, because this one Chick-fil-A in Nashville did something nice for gays!...