By the Comics Curmudgeon

What basic human impulse motivates the men and women who stride the corridors of power in our nation’s capital? Is it a desire to advance the interests of their nation? An urge to mold the government to reflect their political ideology? Do they wish to help their fellow citizens? Is it mere lust for power? Ha ha, obviously none of these are the real reason; rather politicians seek to attain and to hold elected office on the federal level because of the insatiable tingling of their naughty parts, because Washington, D.C., is a great big fuckfest for gross, nasty people who would otherwise spend their time masturbating morosely. Cartoons will show you this, though you’ll wish that they hadn’t. MORE »

Just imagine our very private and humble Supreme Court justice sitting in his secluded shack in the woods, looking out the window, only to find some nut lurking behind two trees with a macro zoom lens. Next, the NYT will boil his bunny and put him down a well, for fattening purposes. [New York Times]

David Souter, the “stealth yankee” who drove wingnuts crazy with his plain old New England Republican common-sense decisions, is finally leaving the town he hated for the entire two decades he spent working at the Supreme Court. And now he is free, thanks to Barack Obama, the Dream-Maker. Let’s celebrate with this latest political art from our favorite Chicago street organizer, Lauri Apple. Good-bye, Justice Souter! Enjoy whatever it is one does in New Hampshire forever.

• DAVID SOUTER TO QUIT SUPREME COURT: Supreme Court Justice David Souter, the one George Bush Senior picked without knowing that he was secretly a French liberal queer, will retire at the end of the current session because he wants to climb mountains in New Hampshire or something before dying of old age cancer. Now Barack Obama can put Bill Ayers on the bench, as has been his plan since he was conceived in a Kenyan labratory ostrich egg in 1961. [NYT]

David Souter’s BFF claims the Supreme Court Justice didn’t weep uncontrollably after the United States curled up and died in 2000, but Souter still loathes Washington D.C. and probably the Supreme Court, too. [Union Leader]

* Heard on the Hill: Airline travel brings out the worst in all of us…”The Devil Wears Prada” comes to Washington by way of Jeri Thompson’s antics…Stephen Colbert WILL get to know your district, unless its one of the 80 he forgot…What would a tour of Minneapolis be without a trip to the now infamous airport bathroom? [Roll Call]
* Yeas and Nays: Connie Lawn wants you to say hello to friendly, gentler motorcades…Supreme Court Justice David Souter never recovered from the recount ruling…Museum takes in former Rep. Earl Hutto lime-green 1979 Oldsmobile…New Zagat guide is out…Ann Coulter is asking for it–a fatwa, that is…Presidential hopefuls find their books going for pennies on Amazon…No widowed Wiccans allowed…Distillers try their hand at George Washington’s whiskey recipe…The U.S. Embassy in Baghdad a fortress of solitude, shopping and cinema. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Hurricane or not, Mitch McConnell enjoyed his time off…Sen Tom Harkin serves it up for ‘08 candidates…A call for resignation has less to do with the severity of the sin and more to do with the party persuasion of the governor. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Bush leaves through the side door…We’re the reason Larry Craig had to resort to an airport bathroom…The Oprah-Obama bash is only days away!…Gossip is a lifelong addiction…Larry Craig: a self-proclaimed romantic. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Idaho men are tough and rugged with their tight jeans and tighter faces. [WP]
* Page Six: omeone’s getting fired at CNN after losing the only copy of Anderson Cooper’s Hurricane Katrina special. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: John Edwards does the down-faced dog for Russell Simmons. [NYDN]
* Washington Whispers: “Anything Goes” on the college version of 60 Minutes…Karl Rove finds a new job for the same boss…John Kerry helps out his old friend Leonardo DiCaprio…Bill Richardson won’t give up his SUV, despite his own pleas…Bill Clinton still hiding tapes in his sock drawer…Bush’s cabinet finally gets some pull…House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer goes to the Holy Land, finds the Golden Arches. [USN&WR]

Today Wonkette took a field trip to the U.S. Supreme Court. We were all excited, ’cause we — like many others — thought it might be the last day of the Term.

The Court would hand down decisions in all its big-ticket cases — like the Texas redistricting case, and the Guantanamo Bay detainee case. Maybe a justice would announce his or her retirement. We might be present for the making of history.

As it turned out, the SCOTUS faked us out. Moving into overtime, they announced that tomorrow will be the last day of the Term. Perhaps their recent night at the movies caused the justices to fall behind in their work.

Nevertheless, our visit to the Court was worthwhile. Even though the decision in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld will have to wait until tomorrow, we did get to watch Justice Kennedy try to explain the confusing raft of opinions in the Texas redistricting case. And we swooned when the hunky Chief Justice started talkin’ dirty to us, about Article 36 of the Vienna Convention on “Consular Relations”…

After the jump, part one of our two-part photo essay on our day with the Supremes.

Update: Part Two is available here.

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Supreme Court justices are people too. And like all good Americans, they love going to the movies. From today’s Reliable Source:

So what if you have 25 cases to wrap up by the end of the month? No reason the whole office can’t bail out a little early one night to catch a movie together!

For the folks on the Supreme Court, a retirement was even more cause for a midweek treat. On Wednesday afternoon, all nine justices — plus recently retired colleague Sandra Day O’Connor and a handful of spouses — sneaked over to the Library of Congress for a private screening of the John Wayne classic “Red River.”

More details and commentary, after the jump.

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One-point-six billion says the baby’s not Souter’s. MORE »

Justice Antonin Scalia has been an eloquent proponent of originalist thought in constitutional interpretation. He has made major contributions to the field of stautory interpretation. He has also been recognized, and rightly so, as one of the finest prose stylists on the Supreme Court, known for his powerful and blistering dissents. Even his ideological opponents cannot deny his brilliance. MORE »

From Linda Greenhouse’s account of the Supreme Court argument earlier this week in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld, the controversial case about detainees’ rights: MORE »