Tag: david petraeus

Your Weekly Top Ten Has Had It Up To Here With Kellyanne Conway

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

Donald Trump Tweets Something So Awful And Grotesque, You Absolutely MUST CLICK THIS NOW

Did you hear the latest thing Trump wants to do? IT'S OMG WTF BAD!
Totally worth it

Trump Meeting With Petraeus For State, Because What F*cking Classified Emails?

David Petraeus is not Hillary Clinton, therefore he is obviously innocent.
Flynn's the Thanksgiving General: He lobbied for Turkey

Trump’s Likely Pick For National Security Advisor Only A Little Unhinged And Corrupt

He's definitely Flynn, though not necessarily In.
Yep, she's worried. Look at the fear in her eyes.

House GOP Wants To Investigate Hillary’s Emails, Because That’s Gone So Well In The Past

Ooh, ooh! Maybe they could investigate Benghazi some more while they're at it!

Why Hillary Clinton Will Not Rot In Jail For Aggravated Emailing: Your Ultimate #Emails Wonksplainer

Read this so you can explain How Things Work to your dumb right-wing uncle.

FBI Refuses To Imprison Hillary Clinton For Being History’s Greatest Email Monster

Hooray, all the Hillary Clinton scandals are over now, until the GOP makes up some new ones!
A couple of amateurs

Mark Kelly And David Petraeus Started New Gun Safety Group Before Orlando. See? It Didn’t Work!

Former astronaut Mark Kelly and retired Gen. David Petraeus have formed a group to fight for stronger gun laws. We're looking forward to the Usual Suspects yelling these vets don't know anything about firearms.
It's not lying. Carly just believes we're in a post-truth era.

Carly Fiorina Admits She Was Wrong, Which Proves She Was Right, So There

This might be a first: Carly Fiorina admitted she was wrong about something! Not as wrong as she actually was, but it's a start. On Fox News Sunday, Fiorina admitted she was actually incorrect in saying General Jack Keane,...

Carly Fiorina Will Not Be Swayed By Your Petty Facts About Generals Or Anything Else Really

Remember how Tuesday night during that rage-fueled blusterfest that was the one millionth GOP debate, Carly Fiorina tottered up to the microphone to list the names of some generals she'd had a minion look up on Wikipedia the night...
That's the face he makes when he Trumps in his pants.

Let’s Order Chinese Food And Watch Donald Trump’s Brain Essplode

Donald J. Trump does not like losing. He's not losing yet, but his stranglehold on American wingnuts is faltering, and he knows it. And Trump definitely doesn't have the temperament for losing, as we can see in his literally...
Totally worth it

Adulterous Traitor Gen. David Petraeus Sorry For Sticking His State Secrets In His Girlfriend’s Lady Hole

We thought we'd heard the last of our own laughter at the disgraced former director of the CIA, all-the-stars Gen. David Petraeus, after he agreed to plead guilty in March of this year, in exchange for a little slap-and-tickle...
Totally worth it

General Petraeus Pleads Guilty To Being Too Sexy For His Pants

Great All-American Hero War-Winnin' Savior and former CIA director Gen. David Petraeus has admitted to pillow-talking classified information into his mistress's ear, which is against the law, it turns out, who knew? But, despite our gleeful prediction in January...
Shtup Making Sense

Morning Maddow: Here’s Rachel Saying ‘Shtupping.’ Also, Maybe A Murder At Gitmo?

Rachel Maddow leads into this developing story about the firing of the head of the Navy's base at Guantanamo Bay with a quick overview of the David Petraeus affair, noting that Petraeus lost his job as CIA director only...
Totally worth it

You’ll Never Guess Why Fox Thinks Sexytime Leaker Gen. Petraeus Is Being Framed Now!

Wingnutty Expert on Everything Andrew Napolitano was all over Fox News Monday and Tuesday to float his expert opinion on why former CIA director David Petraeus is maybe going to face criminal charges for being a Gangster of Love....
Totally worth it

Disgraced Gen. Petraeus Might Go To Prison For Being A Sexytime SPY!

Don't you just hate when you get caught sexing a lady what is not your wife and pillow-talking all of America's classified secrets to her? Oh, you don't do that? Then you are not ex-hero Gen. David Petraeus, who...