Greetings, asshandlers! ‘Tis I, the greatest of Friday authoresses, here to impart wisdom and Journalistik Insightz about something other than the fucking Great White Wedding of the Year. While it is funzies to watch a nice rich inbred “English” boy whose real surname is “Saxe-Coburg and Gotha” mix up the gene pool with fresh blood [...]
War schlub David Petraeus did one of his “report cards to the Senate” things today, and he’s got good news! Despite never accomplishing* a single thing in 10 years of bloody, pointless, horrific boondoggle Central Asian warfare, “It is only recently that we have gotten the inputs right in Afghanistan.” Oh, now we get it! [...]
According to the London Times, David Petraeus is going to leave his command in Afghanistan by the end of the year. Then the Pentagon said that wasn’t going to happen. And then some more speculation happened. One possibility is to replace Adm Mike Mullen, who is chairman of the US joint chiefs of staff. [...] [...]
General Petraeus is on the scene in Afghanistan — and by “Afghanistan” we mean “the Sunday morning political talk shows, in America” — to announce his intention to just stone cold win this war for you, whether you like it or not. “The president didn’t send me over here to seek a graceful exit,” Petraeus [...]
The Pentagon Men are having some kind of teleconference via MSNBC to tell America’s Enemies (TM) that, look, just because we’ve been flailing around in Afghanistan for a decade with no real mission or logic, and just because our U.S. military commander there was an insane insubordinate redneck who ran his own warlord fiefdom based [...]
Barack Obama has supposedly chosen David Petraeus as new commander of the U.S. forces in Afghanistan, even though John McCain made Petraeus faint last week at the Capitol. So no David Petraeus for President in 2012. This has been a Wonkette 2012 Update. [AP]
Mummified windbag John McCain was jabbering his usual nonsense during a Senate Armed Services hearing today when star witness General David Petraeus just keeled over. Why does McCain hate the Troops?
