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Posts Tagged ‘david paterson’

THEY'RE JUST COPYING IOWA

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

Take that, opposite marriage!NEW YORK HALFWAY TO GAYSVILLE: Governor Paterson’s proposal to legalize gay marriage in New York has passed the State Assembly. Some Republicans even voted for it! Now it just has to be approved by the State Senate, which will be harder. [Politicker NY]


OUR CRUMBLING HETERONORMATIVE FREEDOMS

New York Falls To Gay Mafia

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

Mawwiage ... is what bwings us togezahGovernor David Paterson is pissed that Iowa and Vermont look more progressive than New York, so he is fixin’ to change that by introducing an exciting and controversial gay marriage bill to the surprisingly conservative New York State Assembly. It is much like the exciting and controversial gay marriage bill that Governor Eliot Spitzer introduced a year before he had to leave office for having adulterous heterosexual sex with a female hooker. What incipient scandal awaits Governor Paterson? [City Room Blog]


RACISM

Monday, April 6th, 2009

DAVID PATERSON IS FINISHED: New York Gov. David Paterson, whose reign started about a year ago in that very auspicious first week when he admitted to cheating on his wife and doing coke all the time, is trailing New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo 61-18 (!) in a theoretical gubernatorial primary poll. In a theoretical general election matchup against RUDY TERRIBLE GIULIANI he is losing 53-32. [Quinnipiac]


HONEYMOON'S OVER

Now Everybody Hates David Paterson

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

Even that lady he gave a job to.Just nine and a half months ago, everybody loved David Paterson for being everything that Eliot Spitzer was not. Instead of a terse, sanctimonious Captain America who kept his socks on when he furtively humped hookers, Paterson was an affable, self-deprecating, pleasant gentleman who managed to persuade a woman who was not his wife to have sex with him for free. Also he was sort of America’s first blind governor, which was cute. MORE »


ROD BLAGOJEVICH IS ALSO TO BLAME FOR THIS

Nice Lady To Take Caroline Kennedy’s Hillary Clinton Seat!

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

The Albany Times Union is pretty sure that Congresswoman Kirsten Gillibrand of New York will get David Paterson’s Senate appointment tomorrow after several painful months of catastrophe, ruin and embarrassment involving most of the Democratic party’s major dynasties. We are looking forward to never posting about this bullshit ever again, thank you. Sooo… Gillibrand, eh? Let’s see what we’ve got in the ol’ Wonkette Archives for “Gillibrand, Kirsten”…. MORE »


AMERICA'S FAVORITE CONTINUOUSLY BREAKING NEWS STORY

Hopefully One Of The Last Caroline Kennedy Posts, Because It Is Getting Old

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

Since no one really knows what the hell is going on with these rotten New York Democrats, we’ll accept as fact-ish this latest installment in the New York Post’s successful 24-hour sledgehammering of Caroline Kennedy’s entire life and reputation: “In a stunning revelation, a source close to Gov. David Paterson insisted this afternoon that the governor ‘had no intention’ of picking Caroline Kennedy for New York’s vacant senate seat — because she was ‘mired’ in an issue over taxes, her nanny and possibly her marriage.” Maybe David Paterson should appoint someone right now, what with the escalating twin national embarrassments that are the New York Democratic Party and the entire Kennedy family and all. [NY Post]


MEDIA ANALYSIS

‘NY Post’ Vindicated On Kennedy Story

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

Congratulations America you have ruined this little girl's DREAMZMan, last night all the haters were hating on the Post for breaking the astonishing news that the nice rich lady with important friends had decided not to demand a lifelong appointment to the House of Lords after all. Well, now your precious MSM liberal gray lady of record, the New York Times, says the same thing, so it’s official: Caroline Kennedy will be roasted and eaten by David Paterson, with mint jelly, for lunch. MORE »


THIS IS ALL ELIOT SPITZER'S FAULT

Caroline, You Know, Dropped Out Because Paterson Wasn’t Going To Appoint Her, Anyway

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

Caroline, NoWhen this BREAKING NEWS broke 40 minutes ago, Caroline Kennedy was dropping out of the whole “You know, I am famous, politically, so anoint me senator” deal for “personal reasons.” Ha, and now it turns out (according to the New York Post, which is apparently correct) the “reason” was she wasn’t the “person” Paterson will choose to run out Hillary Clinton’s term in the Senate. MORE »


RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

We Can Call Him “Ragu”!

Monday, December 22nd, 2008
  • Here is your Sarah Palin 2009 glamour porn calendar with “pre-drilled holes” to more easily hatefuck it. One more year! One more year! [Marc Ambinder]
  • David Paterson is fighting secret name-calling wars with Caroline Kennedy (of the prestigious Sulzberger family) via the New York Post. [Ben Smith]
  • The identity of “Individual D” in the Blaggy thing has been uncovered: it’s Raghuveer Nayak, some billionaire whose money was of interest to Blaggy, and the only name in the world that will be copied and pasted and not spelled out a higher percentage of the time than “Rod Blagojevich.” [Top of the Ticket]
  • Here is Dick Cheney, being saucy and continuing to send his ill-wishes, unprovoked, to Dark Knight star Patrick Leahy. [CNN Political Ticker]
  • The type of shoe that Throwy Journalist tossed at George Bush is now a best-seller! The economy is saved forever, etc.! [Hit & Run]

STFU

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008

BLACK GOVERNOR IS RACIST FOR NOTING PALIN’S RACIST ATTACK ON ‘COMMUNITY ORGANIZERS’: What would the GOP do without black people to call racist? [Gawker]


DEMOCRATS

OMG Newest NY Governor Did Drugs!

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

First blind governor to be sworn in while totally bakedThis David Paterson guy is a real piece of work. First he admits that when his marriage hit a rough patch he dated other women, instead of engaging the services of a high-dollar prostitute like any normal politician. And now instead of vehemently denying he knows anything about drugs he says he did them once, in his impetuous youth! MORE »