Tag: david gregory

CNN Steps On Own Dick, Wonders If Prince’s Death Is Good News For Trump And Hillary

Know what's been nice? Since Prince's untimely passing on Thursday, people really haven't said hardly anything shitty about it. Cities large and small have gone purple, the cast of Broadway's The Color Purple sang the tribute to end all tributes, and...
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NASA Found This Amazing Monster Black Hole Inside A Teeny Galaxy, No Big

We have SCIENCE! that is so cool, we're going to start with that today. (Look up. Look at the science. Isn't it pretty?) We also have a Very Interesting Theory, a super absurd conspiracy theory, the future of travel,...

Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills

Chuck Todd is so excited, you guys! It's his first week as the new host of Meet the Press. That other guy with two first names failed his way into a $4 million buyout and NBC, looking to bring...
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Meet The Press Is About To Get So Much Worse; You Need This Coffee Mug More Than Ever

Do you need yet one more reason to ignore NBC's "Meet the Press" because you can't get enough of John McCain and the weekly parade of the same old white dudes saying the same old white dude things? What...

David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company

This is definitely the saddest news of the day. No, the week. No, the century. Basically, it is the saddest thing ever. EVER. NBC's David Gregory, best known for asking really great questions on "Meet the Press" and getting his...

NBC Hires Expert To Figure Out Mystery of Why David Gregory’s Show Sucks So Hard

If you are a Reglar 'Merican person who has occasionally flipped to NBC's Meet the Press on a hungover Sunday morning, thinking the vapid tones of whatever panel of white men plus John McCain is appearing that day might...

Marsha Blackburn Wins Climate Change ‘Debate’ With Bill Nye! (Does Not Fling Actual Poo)

So the slightly hyped Big Climate Change "Debate" between science education advocate and teevee guy Bill Nye and Tennessee congresspillock Marsha Blackburn on Sunday's Meet The Press actually turned out to be a whopping 13-minute segment, which was...

Bill Nye, Science Guy, To Perform His Most Dangerous Feat Yet

Fresh off his not-really-a-debate (though he won) appearance with creationist Ken Ham, Science Guy Bill Nye will take on another leading proponent of nonscience, Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn, in a not-really-a-debate appearance on this Sunday's Meet The Press...

Ted Cruz Doesn’t See Why Democrats Won’t Accept His Reasonable Plan To Only Kill Obamacare A Little Bit

Sen Ted Cruz (R-Green Eggs) opened a new front in the War On Logic yesterday, Cruzplaining on NBC's Meet the Press that he has already compromised a whole heck of a lot by only wanting to defund the Affordable...

American Government Propaganda is Not Actually Propaganda, Says Government Official

Congress has worse ratings than cockroaches, Genghis Khan, and Nickelback. More than half of Americans think that the country is heading in the wrong direction. Over half of Americans think of Edward Snowden as a whistle-blower rather than a...

Gun News Roundup: Wayne LaPierre Is A Vile Sack of Garbage, Plus Some Things You Might Have Not Already Known

Greetings, representatives of the People’s Glorious Wonkitburo! We thought we would start this edition of Our Cold Dead Hands with a gun-related tale that could have had terrible and tragic consequences for world diplomacy, but because no one was...

What Is Chelsea Clinton Hiding About Monica Lewinsky?

Everyone knows that Chelsea Clinton is the world's most boring human being -- though she did grow up to be quite a fetching member of the female species, suck it Rush Limbaugh. She is even more boring than Luke...

Rand Paul Campaign Goin’ Nuts, Suddenly Terrified Of David Gregory

David Gregory is a professional cocktail-hour name-dropping titty child who only got into television so he could meet and dance with and suck up to famous people -- mostly "dance with." So this is a good move by Rand...

Why Is Weird Bill Clinton Still So Paranoid?

Haha Bill Clinton, who even is this guy? Not that you would even know this by reading the corrosive falsehoods spread by the so-called media, but back in the 90s, he was the victim survivor of a "vast right-wing...

Staycation: Famous For DC People Remain In DC, Even In July!

So we did a midsummer slow news day's Wonk'd yesterday and what do you know, another billion Wonk'd sightings arrived in out Tips Box this morning. It's like you people can be easily manipulated by suggestion. "Here are some...

McCain Can’t Even Tell Polite Lie About Supporting Palin In 2012

How deeply must you despise your former running mate -- the person you wanted America to accept as a perfectly good and safe president-in-waiting, just a few months ago -- to be unable to fake a quick "Sure I...