Wonkette

So who is this mysterious “David Gregory” who will replace Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews for MSNBC’s election coverage, ushering a nation of despairing libtards through the Debate Nightmares before dropping them off at the Tunnel of Doom on election day? A “seasoned political journalist” and known tall person, Gregory made his reportorial bones the old fashioned way: by dancing, repeatedly and embarrassingly, on television. A beautiful retrospective after the jump. MORE »

Due to not watching much teevee your Wonkette editors were generally spared the spectacular series of meltdowns Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann enjoyed during the conventions, but we understand it was pretty nuts: catty hand gestures and bickering like old lesbians and finally Keith Olbermann refusing to go to St. Paul for fear he would be “assassinated.” Now we can all breathe a sigh of relief because they will not be anchoring the debates or election night for MSNBC. MORE »

Hey, has anybody seen David Gregory’s show on the MSNBC, called, uh, That Thing Between Episodes of ‘Hardball’? Yeah, us neither. Apparently it features bottled heads in a spaceship, with David Gregory being very self-important in front of them. Unsurprisingly, people do not watch this show, and the gentleman who made his bones being a comically aggressive dick to George Bush in press conferences now finds his star on the wane. MORE »

Hey, remember this video of NBC’s White House correspondent, David Gregory, dancing to Mary J. Blige’s fantastic dance song? Well this same dancer is now replacing fired (HA HA) MSNBC host Tucker Carlson’s 6 - 7 p.m. spot with Race for the White House, which the press release calls “a fast-paced daily look at the latest election news.” And who doesn’t need more of that right now! But does the press release lie? According to the AP, the new program will be called Race for the White. A typo, or a HILLARY PLANT? [AP/Breitbart]

Huckles appeared on Today this morning (I assume) to explain why he wants to convert the Constitution into the Jesus Novel. It’s great how whenever he’s asked whether homosexuality is a sin, he responds, “Oh we’re all sinners, and now here’s a joke to change the subject!” And that subject always does get changed, even though he’s left us with the logical conundrum that all of our “sinful” tendencies should be banned by Constitutional amendments.

A few weeks ago, we shared with you a video of NBC Chief White House Correspondent David Gregory shaking his groove thing to Mary J. Blige. Today, we present the first-ever dance competition between a White House Correspondent and a candidate for the White House: David Gregory vs. Barack Obama! Once you view the video, please play judge and vote in our poll.

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In a break from more traditional reporting duties, NBC reporter (and Bush-baiter extraordinaire) David Gregory helps white boys everywhere learn to show their appreciation for the awesomeness that is Mary J. Blige. Sadly, he dances about as well as one would expect, but at least he knows good music when he moneymaker just can’t stop shakin’.

This week, Michael Mukasey, Larry Craig, Tim Russert, Jerry Rice, Marion Barry, and David Gregory were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. MORE »

This week, you guys spotted Blythe Danner, Mitch McConnell, David Gregory, Ron Paul, Whitney Cunningham, Bill Richardson, and Dennis Kucinich out and about in DC (and elsewhere). And then you told us all about it and now we share your emails with the world! MORE »

This week, Chuck Norris, Jim Webb, Karl Rove, David Gregory, and Helen Thomas were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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Famous DC types, they’re just like you: they are sweaty, they’re “turds,” they drink Mexican beer, and they do yardwork. In this week’s Wonk’d, David Gregory walks in a circle, George Will bugs the people immediately surrounding him, Steny Hoyer violates the law, Bill Delahunt works on Miller’s farm, Tom Davis hangs out in the sixth borough, some dude from The OC does something or other, and we all continue to laugh at Jim Moran’s name. It’s all after the jump.

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This week Rudy Giuliani proves there’s nothing more American than baseball and S&M while Valerie Plame and Kiefer Sutherland blow their covers, and Tucker Carlson just blows. Plus Joe Scarborough, James Carville and everyone’s favorite tequila slurping laborer.

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We’ve got more than three amigos for you this week because Wonk’d doesn’t take snow days, even in a celebrity storm like this one: Vicente Fox doing his Borat impersonation, Bill Cosby not eating at Ben’s, Fred Barnes with his head in the ground, and Joe “That’s Right Motherfuckers” Lockhart partying with some girls who are way past wild and into ludicrous, also Ludacris.

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This week’s Wonk’d hits close to home, as everyone spotted looks spaced out and bitter. Laura Bush’s face lets George know that if she’s gonna be up early she better have a drink in her hand, and Dennis Kucinich may not need that particular poison, but he’s got his own way to relax. Hillary Clinton and Chuck Schumer party at South East’s most deluxe Chinese joint, George Stephanopoulos shows he has almost mastered the art of exchanging money for goods and services, and Andrew Sullivan pays for WiFi from The Man just to avoid being spotted at the free place down the street, and ends up here anyway. These aggravated big-shots and last week’s douchiness explained — if you can begrudge us another click.

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