Wonkette

Everybody in California’s 26th congressional district got this crazy-ass ALL CAPS hand-written freakout from beloved conservative bachelor David Dreier today. You can read the second page of ALL CAPS “MUST DRILL 4 OIL AT SEA WORLD OR ISLAMO FASCISTS WILL KILL KILL KILL” in the comments of basically all blogs everywhere.

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

This week: Guilt vs. Lust. Like that’s even a contest.

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The LA Daily News, saying what we’re all thinking. Headline of the year? MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: Tom DeLay sent out an email asking his friends to support Sara Evans on Dancing With the Stars… Rep. David Dreier (R-CA) showed up to work with a black eye yesterday. It was from a minor operation. [Roll Call]
• Yeas and Nays: The following members of Congress recorded with Kelly Clarkson yesterday: Joseph Crowley, Mary Bono, Mark Foley, Connie Mack, Steny Hoyer, Stephanie Herseth, Charles Gonzales, and Marsha Blackburn. [Examiner]
• Under the Dome: Rep. John Sweeney’s campaign spent $660 on cigars. [The Hill]
• Rush and Molloy: Hillary Clinton, after hearing that Karl Rove had her office exorcised: “I’m speechless.” [NYDN]
• Fresh Intelligence: Raul Castro is totally gay. [Radar]

Who says Democrats can’t win? In the latest Congressional Catfight, Barney Frank pounded poor David Dreier’s brains out, making him cry out in pain. MORE »

* The week started off with a double shot of intelligence stories to get us all hot and bothered. Did we say hot? We meant super-hot. MORE »

Some of you have complained that Congressional Catfight is sexist. We deny all such charges. Meet the next two competitors stepping into the ring: Congressman Barney Frank (on left) and Congressman David Dreier (on right). In case you can’t tell your left from your right, Frank is the bear, and Dreier is the twink MORE »

Earlier today, we announced Congressional Catfight, our contest to find the biggest beeatch in the House. (Apologies for the mixed animal metaphors.)

We kicked off the competition with a battle between Rep. Jo Ann Emerson (R-MO) and Rep. Katherine Harris (R-FL). Now, we bring you the full roster of worthy competitors:

Top row, left to right: Jo Ann Emerson (R-MO); Katherine Harris (R-FL); Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX); Virginia Foxx (R-NC)

Bottom row, left to right: Cynthia McKinney (D-GA); Nancy Pelosi (D-CA); Barney Frank (D-MA); David Dreier (R-CA)

By the way, the polls are still open in the Emerson v. Harris match-up. So if you haven’t voted yet, click here, and make your voice heard.

For those of you who are really excited about this competition, the full tournament ladder, with brackets, appears after the jump.

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Just because you’re famous, or famous-for-D.C., doesn’t mean you don’t need to buy stuff.

Actually, we take that back; it kinda does! Usually celebrities can have their household help or personal assistants do their shopping for them. But sometimes they buy their own stuff — and when they do, Wonk’d sightings are the hilarious result!

After the jump (click here), live vicariously through your fellow Wonkette readers, as they hit the supermarket with Bill Cosby, shop for electronics with Donna Brazile — and give Dick Cheney the finger.

(And please continue to email us with your sightings, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line. Thanks!)

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• Chief Justice John Roberts gives Bush control of Congress’s executive branch.
• Bill Bennett gambles on an ad absurdum argument.
• Laura Bush, international spokesmodel.
• David Dreier not hard enough to replace the Hammer.
• Drudge’s headline writing skills decoded, demystified.
• White House staffers introduced to concept of “subways.”
• Judy Miller fucked us.