Tag Archives: david cameron

  Fox Apology For Benghazi Coverage Scheduled For June 2019

Fox News’ Statements No Longer Operative, Osama Bin Laden Not Holed Up In Buckingham Palace

It's like a French TV version of Wonkette!
Drudge Sirens! Fox News actually apologized for spreading a completely made-up story about supposed “no-go zones” in England and France — areas where officials supposedly have agreed to let Muslims run things according to the dictates of Sharia, without interference from police or fire services, and where non-Muslims enter at the risk of their own lives. On Saturday night, when even Fox News addicts aren’t watching TV, Fox’s Julie Banderas offered this “correction” to a myth the network had been pushing since shortly after the terrorist attacks in Paris: Read more on Fox News’ Statements No Longer Operative, Osama Bin Laden Not Holed Up In Buckingham Palace…
  If It's Nae Scottish Independence It's Crap!

Plucky Haggis-Eating Highlanders Decide ‘There Can Be Only One!’

By the look on your face I can tell you like the pipes, wee laddie
Scottish voters turned down a referendum on independence from Britain yesterday, leading bloggers everywhere to brace for a slew of angry emails about how they didn’t use “England” or “United Kingdom” or “Great Sceptered Lizard Queen Realm Of God’s Own Bloody Bollocky Green and Pleasant Land” correctly. The final tally was 55.3 percent against independence, 44.7 percent for, a margin of victory for continued union that was wider than polls had predicted. Read more on Plucky Haggis-Eating Highlanders Decide ‘There Can Be Only One!’…
  clipbait

John Oliver Brings You The Scottish Independence Story You Didn’t Know You Were Dying To See (Video)

Freedom, sugar tits!
John Oliver and Last Week Tonight have a real treat for us this week: the funniest reporting on this week’s Scottish vote on whether to leave the United Kingdom. Yes, Scotland — which Americans know as “the birthplace of Shrek and that accent you think you can do but actually can’t.” It’s an explainer, an editorial, and a comedy bit all rolled into one, and damned if it doesn’t get at the major issues far more effectively than any of the American TV reports that we’ve seen on Scottish independence. Which would be none. Read more on John Oliver Brings You The Scottish Independence Story You Didn’t Know You Were Dying To See (Video)…
  our once proud nation weeps

Figures. Obama, In Waffle Land, Calls Soccer ‘Football.’ INPEACH!

From the Washington Free Beacon comes this shocking revelation: President Obama referred to the sport of soccer as “football” during a press conference in Brussels on Thursday, raising questions about his commitment to America. For a publication usually devoted to general wingnuttery, Andrew Stiles’s piece is actually a pretty good parody of wingnuttery, and for this, credit must be given. Bravo, Mr. Stiles. Read more on Figures. Obama, In Waffle Land, Calls Soccer ‘Football.’ INPEACH!…
  shut that whole thing down

Rape Porn To Be Banned In Britain, Joining Pamela Geller And A Bunch Of Old George Formby Songs

Posh anti-tossing tosser UK PM David Cameron’s Conservative party is not very popular right now, but they’re still more popular than rape. So, opportunity! A new restriction on the possession of rape porn is part of a crackdown by British Prime Minister David Cameron, who announced this summer that lawmakers wanted to close a “legal loophole” in the law. Currently, possession of rape porn is legal in the U.K., even though publishing and distributing it has already been outlawed. Rape is hella bad. That goes without saying, but we will say it anyway, because “internet.” RAPE IS HELLA BAD. Rape, however, isn’t the issue here. The issue is the criminalization of fictional depictions of rape between consenting, compensated, often sexy adults. You may think porn is inherently bad or exploitative or should not have so many pop-ups, but it is a science fact that “the connection between actual real-life violence and porn is blurry at best.” Read more on Rape Porn To Be Banned In Britain, Joining Pamela Geller And A Bunch Of Old George Formby Songs…
  spy vs. spy

British Spy On World Leaders, Earn Title of World’s Worst Hosts

Apparently the UK noticed a while ago that the US was doing piddly little spying on its own citizens, and chuckled gracefully into their afternoon tea at the upstart colonists’ antics. Because back in 2009, they apparently decided to up the ante and straight up spy on world leaders who gathered London for the G20 summit. In the latest leak from traitor/hero/missing contractor Edward Snowden to The Guardian: Foreign politicians and officials who took part in two G20 summit meetings in London in 2009 had their computers monitored and their phone calls intercepted on the instructions of their British government hosts, according to documents seen by the Guardian. What terrible hosts, those British! You step into the loo and all of a sudden they are bugging your phone. No wonder we dumped their goddam tea into the harbor. Read more on British Spy On World Leaders, Earn Title of World’s Worst Hosts…
  america's greatest pundits

The Proper Conservative Patriot’s Take On The Olympic Opening Ceremonies

Poor Jennifer Rubin, the unofficial public voice of the Romney campaign who continues to have a job at the Washington Post. Why doesn’t your Wonkette make fun of her more often? Maybe it’s too easy, but it’s not like that consideration has ever stopped us. Jen Rubin is sad today. Just a few days ago she was crowing, “The Obama campaign can’t bear the thought that the well-traveled Mitt Romney will make a nice impression on his overseas tour” — that the foreigns would instantly fall in love with Romney, a born diplomat. Unfortunately, within his first day or two of his arrival in our Special Friend country of England, Romney managed to insult the nation badly enough to earn a public rebuke from the conservative Prime Minister, the Mayor of London, and every newspaper and television station in the United Kingdom. What’s a Rubin to say now? How about… the Olympics opening ceremony is dumb, anyway, sorta like David Cameron is dumb. Read more on The Proper Conservative Patriot’s Take On The Olympic Opening Ceremonies…
  how rude!

Mitt Romney Now Losing Friends And Alienating People In Olde Anglo-Saxon-Lande Too

Oh Mitt Romney, please stop making us feel sorry for you. You go to Yurp so you can be a Celebrity Rock Star like Obama was in 2008, and “project leadership,” and everywhere you go, you make people hate you. What jerk thing came out of your mouth this time? Oh, just that London was probably going to do a crap job with its Olympics, is all. “Do they come together and celebrate the Olympic moment? That’s something which we only find out once the Games actually begin,” [Romney] said. “It’s hard to know just how well it will turn out. There are a few things that were disconcerting. “The stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and Customs officials – that obviously is not something which is encouraging.” The remarks were greeted with anger, with many British supporters of the Games taking to Twitter to accuse Mr Romney of being graceless and rude. Read more on Mitt Romney Now Losing Friends And Alienating People In Olde Anglo-Saxon-Lande Too…
  euromitt

Mitt Romney Does England, Day 1: Meeting The Dandies

The trip of the century has begun! Mitt Romney is in Londontowne, visiting the enemy Empire against whom we literally revolted because of tea taxes. How many lobsterbacks has he killed yet? None; he got a graduate school deferment from fighting in the Revolutionary War. Let’s check in our next, greatest Republican president, as he tries to prove to the world that he “knows stuff” about foreign policy by giving handsies in Covent Garden. Read more on Mitt Romney Does England, Day 1: Meeting The Dandies…
  great international rows

David Cameron, You Have Been Cavorting Far Too Much With Barack Obama

The Almighty King of England, David Cameron, recently spent a lovely American spring afternoon with Barack Obama inside a sweaty gymnasium watching college athletes play basketball. They then had a lovely American spring evening at a White House state dinner, at which David Cameron saluted the American liberal president. We all know how creepy Cameron is for Obama. He is 1,000 Royal Navy battleships’ worth of creepy for him. But now Mitt Romney wants some of that action, and he will be a sourpuss until he gets it, tut tut. Read more on David Cameron, You Have Been Cavorting Far Too Much With Barack Obama…
  bollocks

Wingnuts Outraged UK Prime Minister Did Not Kick Obama in the Manjigglies at State Dinner

What ho old chaps! Noted collection of experts in protocol Human Events Online have typed up a list of their complaints regarding Messr. Obama’s State Dinner and they would like it seen to at once! Chiefly, British Prime Minister and state dinner guest of honor David Cameron said suspiciously kind things about — and indeed, positively “fawned over” — Barack Obama, a known colonial subject of the British Empire, upon which the sun never sets! And also Winston Churchill, because that never gets old. Hmmm, what else? The “president” took David Cameron, the prime minister in question, to a basketball game rather than spending that time working on the economy and just sending his “guest” off to hang out in a Foggy Bottom Starbucks while he finishes up a few things, you don’t mind right, it’s just for a while. Also Cameron told a Nixon joke, which simply will not stand! And then had the nerve to “namecheck” some random people of color such as Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks, which is clearly reverse racism and a terrible slap in the face to America’s legion Oppressed Whites. Read more on Wingnuts Outraged UK Prime Minister Did Not Kick Obama in the Manjigglies at State Dinner…
  anals of justice

Rupert Murdoch Makes Weird Anal Sex Joke About David Cameron

Unrepentant demon overlord Rupert Murdoch and son are busy promising the British Parliament today that they had no knowledge about any of the hacking going on at News of the World previous to the scandal breaking, a ludicrous suggestion that ranks up there with “9/11 was done by the Jews” for accuracy. But Murdoch did at least admit that he regularly butt penetrates Prime Minister David Cameron. UPDATE: An activist (this guy?) tried to throw a pie at Murdoch during the hearing, which will now be “Britain’s Iraqi shoe-thrower moment” but with pies, because that is the highest form of insult in that country. Read more on Rupert Murdoch Makes Weird Anal Sex Joke About David Cameron…
  oh so world politics is dictated by pointless crap now too

Obama, Everyone Condemn Random Pastor Who Is Somehow Famous

You may have heard there is a random pastor guy in Florida who decided he’s gonna burn hisself a whol’ bunch ‘er K-rans on 9/11! Wow! Big news! Random American hicks hate things that are not like them! But our media saw this and decided everyone looooooved that mosque story so much that this man should be an international celebrity. And now every slightly important human and country on Earth must be questioned on what their “stance” is on this “issue,” because that pastor guy is so very famous. And now your president has had to do this very thing, and this is huge international news, because it makes America look great. Read more on Obama, Everyone Condemn Random Pastor Who Is Somehow Famous…
  shiny ha'pennies for all in celebration

POSH-PONCE DAVID CAMERON SIRES PREEMIE PRINCESS: U.K. Prime Minister and known cock-thinker David Cameron’s wife gave birth (slightly early) to a girl while the royal couple was on vacation in Cornwall; Cameron claims that they will come up with some kind of pagan Celtic Cornish name as a result, making her ineligible to become Queen. The Prime Minister will be taking “paternity leave” like a typical communist European, leaving the country in the hands of the adorable Nick Clegg. [BBC] Read more on …
  barry can you hear me?

Shirley Sherrod Ends Up On the Cutting Room Floor

Did you know that there was a Controversy this week surrounding a USDA employee? No? Neither does West Wing Week, the greatest television program on the Internet. Its sole reason for existence is to tell you the things that Barack Obama did that had nothing to do with his Secretary of Farmville’s hysterical reaction to a video clip posted by a douche. This week’s edition is entitled “A Sensible Midwesterner.” Is the title in reference to Bariatric Obama? No, because he is from Nairobi. Read more on Shirley Sherrod Ends Up On the Cutting Room Floor…
  it's morning in america

Non-Racist Lady Maybe Doesn’t Want Her Job Back, Jerks

If you were not up late last night you may not have read Jack Stuef’s epic and important jeremiad on the subject of Shirley Sherrod and her unnecessary journey under the bus, courtesy of the people in the Obama Administration who threw her there. Go, on read, it, then come back here for some maybe mildly good news! Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack (Sherrod’s boss) is taking time out of his busy schedule of wandering around ComicCon in his “sexy Winnie the Pooh” outfit to “conduct a thorough review and consider additional facts” in this stupid and maddening case. Now she is not entirely sure she wants to go back and work for her former employers, though, because, you know, they were dicks. Read more on Non-Racist Lady Maybe Doesn’t Want Her Job Back, Jerks… Read more on Non-Racist Lady Maybe Doesn’t Want Her Job Back, Jerks…
  they also got plutonium for doc brown

Posh-Ponce David Cameron To Beg Forgiveness For BP-Libyan Conspiracy

David Cameron, Elizabeth Windsor’s chief boot-lick and First Lord of the Treasury, has arrived in the United States for his very first visit as master of Britain’s decaying empire (motto: “We still rule Bermuda and Pitcairn Island with an iron fist!”). He was sort of hoping that he could just get some quality time in with his main crush Barack Obama, but now he has to go kiss some old Senator ass because BP arranged for the release of a terrorist mass murderer, which, for the record, is totally not his fault, man. Read more on Posh-Ponce David Cameron To Beg Forgiveness For BP-Libyan Conspiracy…
  girl talk (about murdering the poor)

Angry Sun God To Stop Sarah Palin From Harassing Maggie Thatcher

Sarah Palin didn’t even have a passport before 2007, and the only non-America places she’s ever been to are Canada (“America del Norte”), Mexico (for body shots at Señor Frog’s), and U.S. military bases in Germany and Kuwait. Like many an American, she’s trying to slowly work her way up the ladder of exoticness, so why not start with the U.K., where they (sort of) speak English? And while there, why not meet England’s President, Margaret Thatcher? Read more on Angry Sun God To Stop Sarah Palin From Harassing Maggie Thatcher…
  best chaps

A Children’s Treasury Of David Cameron Stalking Barack Obama

Back in 2008, the hottest fad among European politicians was to get their pictures taken with presidential candidate Barack Obama, who was much more popular among Europeans than any of them. David Cameron, who had been preparing for his royal takeover of Britain for years already, chased Barack Obama all over the place. Up top, we have Cameron’s video from election night 2008. He watched Barack Obama win on the telly and read about his Glories in the local news-tabloids, and then proceeded to suck up like the Dickens. “I KNOWETH THIS MAN. WE ARE BEST CHAPS. HE LOVES ME,” he narrates. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of David Cameron Stalking Barack Obama…
  earth's oldest rituals

Posh-Ponce David Cameron To Beg Honorable Elizabeth Windsor For Her Government

Here is the scene in dreadful, leaderless Englandtowne right now, where posh-ponce David Cameron is on his way to the Palace to perform his latest rabbit-goblin dance for the delight of royal lady Queen Elizabeth, of the German-British ruling family. Read more on Posh-Ponce David Cameron To Beg Honorable Elizabeth Windsor For Her Government…