Tag: david barton

Washington Post Says Trump Teaching GOP To Love The Gays, LOL Shut Up, Washington Post

How weird, since Trump is addressing an INSANE anti-gay summit this week!
Look, YOU try putting a bumper sticker on a camel...

‘God Hates Retirement’ Is Wingnuts’ Hot New Reason For Killing Social Security

We're pretty sure that two examples makes for a trend (or at least it does at the New York Times), so it's officially time to call this a genuine wingnut epidemic: Citing the Bible as proof that God wants...
This is how I felt after I freed the slaves!

Congressmuffin Aaron Schock: I, Like Abe Lincoln, Am No Longer In Congress

The House Of Representatives is going into recess for two weeks, which means that ethically challenged CongressCheeks Aaron Schock had to do to his "So Long, Farewell" speech a few days early. Schock had previously promised to resign effective...
Sudo bring me a muffin.

Derp Roundup: Biblical Computer Programming, Obama’s Race Czar, And Other Horrors

It's time for another Derp Roundup, the occasional feature where we pressure-wash all the crud off our open browser tabs and bring you some stories that didn't quite merit their own posts, but were too stupid to ignore altogether....

‘Historian’: If You Let Women Vote, Next They Will Drive Roadsters And Smoke Virginia Slims

It's been a little while since we've checked in with America's Worst "Historian," David Barton; last time we talked about him was in November, when he was explaining the science of how Abortion causes climate change. Following that detour...

‘Jesus Was Buff’ Wingnut Rewriting Bible Again, Says Jesus Will Return With An AR-15

Time for another visit to the headspace of retired Army general and Family Research Council loony Jerry Boykin, who likes him a big beefy Manly Jesus with big muscles and man stank, and his newest foray into eschatology is...

Weird ‘Historian’ David Barton Has Science Figured Out: Abortion Did Climate Change

David Barton, the fake historian who likes finding true facts about guns in Louis L'Amour novels and who wrote a whole book full of lies about Thomas Jefferson, is branching out from fake history into fake atmospheric science. In...

Sundays With The Christianists: Homeschooled American History That’s Almost Like The Real Thing

After all the sex and excitement of the Revolutionary War and the writing of the Constitution, our American History textbooks for Christian schools present us with something of a challenge: there's just not all that much crazy for...

Genius of History David Barton Finds Reliable Gun Facts In Louis L’Amour Novel

(updated with correction; see note at end) So, what new amazing tales of actual history as she truly happened does floppy-brained fact buggerer David Barton have for us this week? As you may recall, Barton, the Christianist "historian"...

Genius Of History David Barton Claims Founding Fathers Were Awesomest At Guns

Serial fact-molester David Barton has opened his fool mouth and allowed utter bullshit to fall out again, which we suppose means it's Tuesday. Barton, the genius who believes that many parts of the Constitution are "direct quotations" from the...

Televangelist Explains How His Jebus Books Brought Down The Berlin Wall

You may have thought that the Berlin Wall was brought down by the economic and political bankruptcy of the East German government in 1989, or maybe because of the impromptu actions of enthusiastic Berliners who just kind of...

Alabama Public TV Execs Fired For Not Loving Made-Up Christian History Show

The board that oversees Alabama's Public TV network has fired two top managers who, for some crazy reason, didn't want to go along with board members' innovative programming idea to air a 10-part revisionist history of the US produced...

Huckabee Plans To Make All Americans Watch Jesus Wingnut ‘At Gunpoint’

America's forgotten "Man From Hope," Mike Huckabee, never even came close to winning the GOP nomination in 2008. But he's still sort of half-trying to run in 2012, so of course he is pandering wildly to the fringe "Christian...