Tag Archives: david axelrod

  Presidents: They're Just Like Us!

Barack Obama Hates Maureen Dowd, As Do All Patriotic Americans

The feeling appears to be mutual.
The chattering classes have been poring over David Axelrod’s new book because it is full of all sorts of JUICY gossip about the most powerful man in the free world, B. Hussein Nobummer. Details continue to dribble out, but this one caught Yr Wonkette’s eye because it involves Maureen Dowd, who is terrible. Vox’s Dylan Matthews gives us a long blockquote about Obama’s “intense loathing” for Dowd, but here’s the best part. Read more on Barack Obama Hates Maureen Dowd, As Do All Patriotic Americans…
  here he is mr. america

Cory Booker Deflects Bullet Of Emo Liberal Peevishness, Will Leap U.S. Capitol In Single Bound

Newark Mayor Cory Booker, the caped-crusading, embattled-cat recovering, amateur fireman, Mr Plow come to life, twitter-master and media darling, won the Democratic primary for New Jersey’s open Senate seat yesterday despite a big ol’ Hate-On from liberal writers everywhere, including our own erstwhile wonkets. But why all the hate, haters? Read more on Cory Booker Deflects Bullet Of Emo Liberal Peevishness, Will Leap U.S. Capitol In Single Bound…
  Julius Rosenberg Weeps

NSA Leaks: Too Many Dare Call It ‘Treason’

Lord but is this NSA shitfuffle giving some of our elected officials and political figures a chance to do their best impressions of spaghetti-western-era Clint Eastwood (which for our money is the best era Clint Eastwood – we would rather forget about the old-man-ranting-to-an-empty-chair era.) Let us take a look at this children’s treasury of emotional children talking tough about shooting the messenger while ignoring the message. Read more on NSA Leaks: Too Many Dare Call It ‘Treason’…
  i said nothing when they came for the axelrod

Wall Street Journal: To Use The Word ‘Liar Is To Kill Six Million Jews

Mitt Romney stated things during the debate last week that were often in direct contravention of both reality and things he had previously stated. If you’re wondering why I don’t use the L-word (“liar,” not “lesbian”), it’s because, as Daniel Henninger states at the Wall Street Journal today, “liar” is the linguistic harbinger of fascism. “Liar” is a potent and ugly word with a sleazy political pedigree. But “liar” is not being deployed only by party attack dogs or the Daily Kos comment queue. Mitt Romney is being called a “liar” by officials at the top of the Obama re-election campaign. That’s shameful! What are they doing? Politics isn’t beanbag, but politicians past had all sorts of devices to say or suggest an opponent was playing fast and loose with the truth. This week’s Obama TV ad, “How Can We Trust Mitt Romney?” would have been perfectly legit absent the Plouffe “liar” prepping. So, the problem isn’t saying that someone is an untruthful, anti-American piece of festering shit, just don’t call them a liar. But why? Read more on Wall Street Journal: To Use The Word ‘Liar Is To Kill Six Million Jews…
  jedi mind tricks

Romney Cannot Out-Debate Handsome, Talented Barack Obama, Says Romney Spokeswoman

OH BOY OH BOY THE DEBATES ARE COMING! This week will be the first time that Barack Obama and Mitt Romney get on TV and have a thoughtful, earnest exchange about how their different visions will translate into policies to help the great country they both love ha ha we can’t even finish this sentence because of course the whole noble debate concept has long been subsumed into the general presidential election horrorshow of spin and fuckery. We’re still days away and already the mind games are starting. First up: expectations-lowering, in which each campaign tries to convince the press that their candidate will spend most of the debate gibbering incoherently and urinating on himself in terror, so that when he manages to string several coherent sentences together it can be spun as a win. Unfortunately, Mitt’s people’s attempts at this have been a little … too convincing? Read more on Romney Cannot Out-Debate Handsome, Talented Barack Obama, Says Romney Spokeswoman…
  just like the valentine's day massacre but black

How Is Chicago Thug Barack Obama Threatening People Today?

Sexboat toe goblin Dick Morris has some thoughts on the typically thuggish Chicago regime, and how they “Rough Up Gallup for Polls They Don’t Like.” Get ready you guys, because it is terrifying! In a scene right out of a typical authoritarian regime, Fox News reports that “employees at the venerable Gallup polling firm suggested they felt threatened by Obama campaign adviser David Axelrod when he questioned the methodology of a mid-April poll showing Mitt Romney leading the president – according to internal emails published Thursday.” That poll that sent Axelrod ballistic showed Romney leading Obama 48-43 percent. Read more on How Is Chicago Thug Barack Obama Threatening People Today?…
  it's morning in america

Trump Asked For White House Job, Wanted To Build Obama a Ballroom

What did Donald Trump use to do for “fun,” before he started accusing Barack Obama of being a Kenyan space lizard with lousy SAT scores? Oh, you know, he would drunk dial David Axelrod and beg him for a job, of course. Zounds! Probably best to take a pinch from the snuff box before you proceed. Ready for this?: Donald Trump contacted David Axelrod in June and asked “to be put in charge of the operation in the gulf to seal the oil leak.” (Haha, he wanted to “fire” all of the sea creatures, probably, and watch as they burst into flames. Because that’s what happens when you mix fire and oil-soaked dead baby dolphins.) Anyway, historians tell us that Donald Trump was not put in charge of butt-plugging the oil leak, because Obama knew that would have been an impeachable offense. In a different embarrassing exchange, Donald told Axelrod, “I will build you, free of charge, one of the great ballrooms of the world.” Yes, he wanted to build the White House a ballroom that would “cost maybe $100 million,” completely for free. Aww. Donald Trump is a schizophrenic. [WaPo] Read more on Trump Asked For White House Job, Wanted To Build Obama a Ballroom… Read more on Trump Asked For White House Job, Wanted To Build Obama a Ballroom…
  stuff is hard

White House Undecided On Whether To Let Republicans Walk All Over Them

Democrats in Congress were too afraid even to try to pass an extension of the Bush tax cuts for the middle class before the election, because Republicans saying anything at all about Democrats and taxes is very scary! Of course, Republicans still used this anyway, because they have no problem turning anything and everything into “Those guys have raised and will in the future raise your taxes.” But what about the White House? This whole tax cut thing will set the course for their next two years of working with Congress. Well, David Axelrod sat down for a long interview with the Huffington Post last night for no apparent reason, and he said they would probably give in to the Republicans on this. The White House tried to take back Axelrod’s statement this morning, but that’s like swishing an open flesh wound in the water next to an alligator and then kindly asking him to forget about it. Read more on White House Undecided On Whether To Let Republicans Walk All Over Them…
  everybody gets pulitzers!

Politico: Unnamed Politico Source Disagrees With Unnamed NYT Sources

The New York Times posted an article last night entitled “Obama Advisers Weigh Ad Assault Against the GOP,” which detailed the Democratic Party’s plan to propagate the notion that Teabagger ideas have taken over the Republican Party, based on unnamed sources. So, hey, welcome to the show! Your librul media has been sort of doing that for a while! But David Axelrod, the guy who would do such a thing, says this isn’t true. And more importantly, Politico says it isn’t true, because their unnamed source says so. But whom should we trust? David Axelrod? No, probably one of those unnamed sources. Read more on Politico: Unnamed Politico Source Disagrees With Unnamed NYT Sources…
  it's hard out there for a president

White House Makes Sure Everyone Knows Obama Doesn’t Support That Crazy ‘Gay Marriage’ Idea

President Obama, like many people, was very happy that Proposition 8 was overturned yesterday. But no, that does not mean he supports gay marriage, David Axelrod says. “The president does oppose same-sex marriage, but he supports equality for gay and lesbian couples, and benefits and other issues, and that has been effectuated in federal agencies under his control.” Right. Read more on White House Makes Sure Everyone Knows Obama Doesn’t Support That Crazy ‘Gay Marriage’ Idea…
  no drama obama

David Axelrod Goes Out Of Way To Make Embarrassing Comments

David Axelrod held a briefing today with “reporters and opinion-makers,” you guys! He just wanted to get everyone together to remind them that the Democratic leadership made colossal, avoidable, unacceptable errors that completely ruined their agenda: “The White House had no contingency plan for health care reform if Democrat Martha Coakley lost the special election in Massachusetts, and officials did not discuss the possibility a Democratic loss would dramatically imperil their legislative efforts, a top adviser said today.” Hmm, perhaps it was only after Coakley’s loss that they learned of this whole “60 votes” conundrum in the Senate, and several hours after that did their calculations conclude that “59” was a lesser number than “60,” not accounting for the multiplier effect. [TPM] Read more on David Axelrod Goes Out Of Way To Make Embarrassing Comments…
  wonk'd

Legitimately Famous Political Figures Spotted On Eastern Seaboard!

If you want to see DC’s most famous stars, you are best off visiting exotic locals such as the BWI airport and New York City’s Central Park. There you can find two of the most lovable party hounds in the history of American government! If you must stay in town, though, you might just spot the departing rump of one very famous ex-Clinton staffer … Read more on Legitimately Famous Political Figures Spotted On Eastern Seaboard!…
  miss california

Obama’s Warlock Wants To Name New White House Mongrel ‘Miss California’

Those who listen to the elitist Chicago street organizer public-radio program Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me got a special treat this weekend, as Barack Obama’s personal Rasputin, David Axelrod, appeared on the show to describe how much this Socialist White House hates our nation’s fake-breasted gay-hating soft-porn models. [NewsPoliticsNews/NPR] Read more on Obama’s Warlock Wants To Name New White House Mongrel ‘Miss California’…
  america's dick

David Axelrod Will Waterboard Dick Cheney

Barack Obama’s mustachioed Merlin, David Axelrod, hates Dick Cheney’s fat hateful ass. This, in itself, is hardly novel: Everyone hates Dick Cheney’s fat hateful ass. But Axelrod gets to go on Meet the Press and call Cheney a dick as part of his Administration job. [USA Today] Read more on David Axelrod Will Waterboard Dick Cheney…