Tag: david axelrod

The feeling appears to be mutual.

Barack Obama Hates Maureen Dowd, As Do All Patriotic Americans

The chattering classes have been poring over David Axelrod's new book because it is full of all sorts of JUICY gossip about the most powerful man in the free world, B. Hussein Nobummer. Details continue to dribble out, but this...
What will she argle bargle THIS time?

Sarah Palin To Vomit ‘Unique’ Drunken Word Salad All Over CPAC Again

Conservatives, rejoice! Liberals, rejoice even harder! Sarah Palin is officially going to bring in da noise and da funk and da WTF did she just say?!?! at this year's annual Conservative Political Action Conference: “Gov. Sarah Palin possesses a unique...

Cory Booker Deflects Bullet Of Emo Liberal Peevishness, Will Leap U.S. Capitol In Single Bound

Newark Mayor Cory Booker, the caped-crusading, embattled-cat recovering, amateur fireman, Mr Plow come to life, twitter-master and media darling, won the Democratic primary for New Jersey's open Senate seat yesterday despite a big ol' Hate-On from liberal writers everywhere,...

NSA Leaks: Too Many Dare Call It ‘Treason’

Lord but is this NSA shitfuffle giving some of our elected officials and political figures a chance to do their best impressions of spaghetti-western-era Clint Eastwood (which for our money is the best era Clint Eastwood - we would...

Wall Street Journal: To Use The Word ‘Liar Is To Kill Six Million Jews

Mitt Romney stated things during the debate last week that were often in direct contravention of both reality and things he had previously stated. If you're wondering why I don't use the L-word ("liar," not "lesbian"), it's because, as...

Romney Cannot Out-Debate Handsome, Talented Barack Obama, Says Romney Spokeswoman

OH BOY OH BOY THE DEBATES ARE COMING! This week will be the first time that Barack Obama and Mitt Romney get on TV and have a thoughtful, earnest exchange about how their different visions will translate into...

How Is Chicago Thug Barack Obama Threatening People Today?

Sexboat toe goblin Dick Morris has some thoughts on the typically thuggish Chicago regime, and how they "Rough Up Gallup for Polls They Don't Like." Get ready you guys, because it is terrifying! In a scene right...

Trump Asked For White House Job, Wanted To Build Obama a Ballroom

What did Donald Trump use to do for "fun," before he started accusing Barack Obama of being a Kenyan space lizard with lousy SAT scores? Oh, you know, he would drunk dial David Axelrod and beg him for a...

White House Undecided On Whether To Let Republicans Walk All Over Them

Democrats in Congress were too afraid even to try to pass an extension of the Bush tax cuts for the middle class before the election, because Republicans saying anything at all about Democrats and taxes is very scary! Of...

Obama Team Bored of Nation’s Problems, Still Loves the Blackberry

Look at all the president's men having so much fun on their Fantasy Lacrosse League while poor people talk about their troubles, with Obama! The official White House Flickr caption for this Pete Souza picture goes like this: "President...

Politico: Unnamed Politico Source Disagrees With Unnamed NYT Sources

The New York Times posted an article last night entitled "Obama Advisers Weigh Ad Assault Against the GOP," which detailed the Democratic Party's plan to propagate the notion that Teabagger ideas have taken over the Republican Party, based on...

White House Makes Sure Everyone Knows Obama Doesn’t Support That Crazy ‘Gay Marriage’ Idea

President Obama, like many people, was very happy that Proposition 8 was overturned yesterday. But no, that does not mean he supports gay marriage, David Axelrod says. "The president does oppose same-sex marriage, but he supports equality for gay...

David Axelrod Goes Out Of Way To Make Embarrassing Comments

David Axelrod held a briefing today with "reporters and opinion-makers," you guys! He just wanted to get everyone together to remind them that the Democratic leadership made colossal, avoidable, unacceptable errors that completely ruined their agenda: "The White House...

Legitimately Famous Political Figures Spotted On Eastern Seaboard!

If you want to see DC's most famous stars, you are best off visiting exotic locals such as the BWI airport and New York City's Central Park. There you can find two of the most lovable party hounds in...

Obama’s Warlock Wants To Name New White House Mongrel ‘Miss California’

Those who listen to the elitist Chicago street organizer public-radio program Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me got a special treat this weekend, as Barack Obama's personal Rasputin, David Axelrod, appeared on the show to describe how much this...

David Axelrod Will Waterboard Dick Cheney

Barack Obama's mustachioed Merlin, David Axelrod, hates Dick Cheney's fat hateful ass. This, in itself, is hardly novel: Everyone hates Dick Cheney's fat hateful ass. But Axelrod gets to go on Meet the Press and call Cheney a dick...