Tag: david axelrod

Get ready to be sick of winning

Donald Trump Saves Eight Congressional Ethics Jobs From Going To Mexico! (OR DOES HE?)

DEAR MEDIA: STOP GIVING DONALD TRUMP CREDIT FOR THINGS HE DIDN'T DO.

Obama Says He Would Have Won 2016 Election, And Donald Trump Is DYING OMG LOL

Pathetic gristle-headed crapweasel say what?

Obama Hates 22nd Amendment. Wonkagenda For Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Trump University keeps a door open for charity, Scott Walker cleans up climate change, and the student debt bubble gets bigger. Your daily news brief!

Obama Promises Not To Leave Us All Alone With The Scary Clown-Man In The White House

You want to feel good about Barack Obama one more time? Listen to this podcast.

RNC Hails Its New King! Wonkagenda For Monday, December 26, 2016

The RNC loves its new God King, the incestuous sexxy times of Trump spox, and the Dems set their sights on taxes. Your morning news brief!
The feeling appears to be mutual.

Barack Obama Hates Maureen Dowd, As Do All Patriotic Americans

The chattering classes have been poring over David Axelrod's new book because it is full of all sorts of JUICY gossip about the most powerful man in the free world, B. Hussein Nobummer. Details continue to dribble out, but this...
What will she argle bargle THIS time?

Sarah Palin To Vomit ‘Unique’ Drunken Word Salad All Over CPAC Again

Conservatives, rejoice! Liberals, rejoice even harder! Sarah Palin is officially going to bring in da noise and da funk and da WTF did she just say?!?! at this year's annual Conservative Political Action Conference: “Gov. Sarah Palin possesses a unique...

Cory Booker Deflects Bullet Of Emo Liberal Peevishness, Will Leap U.S. Capitol In Single Bound

Newark Mayor Cory Booker, the caped-crusading, embattled-cat recovering, amateur fireman, Mr Plow come to life, twitter-master and media darling, won the Democratic primary for New Jersey's open Senate seat yesterday despite a big ol' Hate-On from liberal writers everywhere,...

NSA Leaks: Too Many Dare Call It ‘Treason’

Lord but is this NSA shitfuffle giving some of our elected officials and political figures a chance to do their best impressions of spaghetti-western-era Clint Eastwood (which for our money is the best era Clint Eastwood - we would...

Wall Street Journal: To Use The Word ‘Liar Is To Kill Six Million Jews

Mitt Romney stated things during the debate last week that were often in direct contravention of both reality and things he had previously stated. If you're wondering why I don't use the L-word ("liar," not "lesbian"), it's because, as...

Romney Cannot Out-Debate Handsome, Talented Barack Obama, Says Romney Spokeswoman

OH BOY OH BOY THE DEBATES ARE COMING! This week will be the first time that Barack Obama and Mitt Romney get on TV and have a thoughtful, earnest exchange about how their different visions will translate into...

How Is Chicago Thug Barack Obama Threatening People Today?

Sexboat toe goblin Dick Morris has some thoughts on the typically thuggish Chicago regime, and how they "Rough Up Gallup for Polls They Don't Like." Get ready you guys, because it is terrifying! In a scene right...

Trump Asked For White House Job, Wanted To Build Obama a Ballroom

What did Donald Trump use to do for "fun," before he started accusing Barack Obama of being a Kenyan space lizard with lousy SAT scores? Oh, you know, he would drunk dial David Axelrod and beg him for a...

White House Undecided On Whether To Let Republicans Walk All Over Them

Democrats in Congress were too afraid even to try to pass an extension of the Bush tax cuts for the middle class before the election, because Republicans saying anything at all about Democrats and taxes is very scary! Of...

Obama Team Bored of Nation’s Problems, Still Loves the Blackberry

Look at all the president's men having so much fun on their Fantasy Lacrosse League while poor people talk about their troubles, with Obama! The official White House Flickr caption for this Pete Souza picture goes like this: "President...