Where the dickens is that knavish wingnut reporter Dave Weigel these days? In St. Louis, at the “How to Take Back America Conference,” along with every famous racist worth his or her salt. The hottest panels this weekend focused on: how to kill black people, why black people are worse than white people always, and how do we stop the black people from being alive? Also, this photo (of Dave took many more): “The golden wrench that Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) and Rep. Tom Price (R-Iowa) presented to Joe the Plumber.” Uhh. [Washington Independent]

Now. What does this headline even mean? Politico invented a list of 31 “czars” in the Obama administration, and then decided that this is a huge problem for the White House, having these 31 czars. There was such a revolt against czars that Van Jones had to be fired, for being one of the czars! This is the current hottest story in politics, maybe ever, did you know? MORE »

Intrepid Washington Independent blog reporter Dave Weigel has earned himself another steak ‘n’ baked dinner tonight by obtaining this, the RNC’s “2009 Future of American Health Survey.” YES. THAT IS LITERALLY QUESTION FOUR. Republicans, man! C’mon! Some of us just want to have a functioning polity here, okay? [Washington Independent]

It is well known in Republican circles that anyone comparing Barack Obama to former German senator Adolf Hitler is secretly a black Democrat ‘plant,’ in a union. This includes Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, but only during those times that they are saying Barack Obama loves Hitler and vice versa. How much does Barack Obama’s union, “Organizing for America,” pay these fat slobs to say or “imply” these things in public, to make anti-health care people “come across” as insane? No one knows. (Five blowjobs.) But today we learned, on the Internet, that Obama’s fraudulent plant-reach extends even further, to the mainstream Democrats known as “LaRouchies,” who comprise a solid 87 percent of the American left. MORE »

BAM! Sucker, now resign, or be impeached, because you are a bird now. “WHAT BIRDS LIVE TO BE 48?” doubters like Dave Weigel will ask, and all we have to say is, do you have anything that looks *more* legitimate, excluding that “short-form abortion car registration & title” or whatever it was that Robert Gibbs sent the Daily Kos’ Kos last year? Exactly. Congratulations to human Mike P. who sent in the document for our Wonkette Contest. Mike wins a Wonkette T-Shirt! E-mail us, Mike, so we can clothe you! As for you other *losers,* sorry. Let’s show some other finalist submissions (demi-losers) below. MORE »

SMOKING GUN! California lawyer-dentist Orly Taitz has released the Real Birth Certificate of Barack Hussein Nobama II, from Kenya, given to her by a secret source who is now Target #1 of the CIA & the Hawaiian Hospitals Director (same thing). Anyway, Washington’s hardest-working man in birtherology, Dave Weigel, has already debunked the dickens out of this. Our favorite part: “It’s signed by ‘registrar E.F. Lavender.’ Earth Friendly Lavender is a kind of detergent, and government officials who use vanity initials on official documents are, to put it mildly, rare.” BULSHITT WHADDA U KNO WYGEL? [World Net Daily, Washington Independent]

Of course it’s Internet blog reporter Dave Weigel, covering the Washington Independent’s “violent psychopaths and racists” beat, who’s first to remember that tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of last year’s most important breaking news story, one that we still think about, everyday, because what if it’s out there?? On May 16, 2008, blogger Larry Johnson changed the world with a single sentence: “I now have it from two sources that there is video dynamite–Michelle Obama railing against ‘whitey’ at Jeremiah Wright’s church.” And yet we’re still waiting. Will the liberal media and Al Qaeda ever show this tape that they have? Or do we have it already… and just don’t realize it? HUH? Is it the video up top? HAS THIS YOUTUBE BEEN THE SECRET “WHITEY TAPE” ALL ALONG? [Washington Independent]