Tag Archives: dave agema

  the halls of injustice

Michigan Teabagger Cites Magna Carta, Eternal Rights Of Man In Epic Fight Over Seating Chart

taken before the day everything changed...
Do you sometimes feel like the standard tea party characters are growing a little stale? Are you tired of the Crowders? The Kincannons? The Paranoid Ginger Wooly Willies? I mean, don’t get me wrong. Those guys are great, especially if you’re looking for racist murder fetish material. But will they have a seat at the table when it’s time to effect true change? Who will LEAD? Read more on Michigan Teabagger Cites Magna Carta, Eternal Rights Of Man In Epic Fight Over Seating Chart…
  One nation under white Jesus

Michigan RNC Guy Posting Stormfront Stuff On His Facebook Basically, Why Not

Party like it's 1859
Did you spend even one moment of New Year’s Eve wondering if old friend and RNC Committeeman Dave Agema was enjoying himself? Because while you were getting dressed in anticipation of being asphyxiated by glitter and vomiting champagne cocktails out of a taxi window, Agema enlightened himself with a ball-drop of opinions on why black people crime. Read more on Michigan RNC Guy Posting Stormfront Stuff On His Facebook Basically, Why Not…
  Do you like movies about gladiators getting health care?

Republican Says It’s ‘Immoral’ To Give Health Care To Gays Because Then They Use It Like A Bunch of Gays Using Health Care

Don’t you just hate when The Gays try to use health care like they’re some kind of people who need health care? Michigan’s former state Rep. Dave Agema sure does. Who is this blowhole? Oh, just a derpsman for the Republican National Committee and also a former pilot, which makes him an automatic The Gays expert somehow because of Stuff He Saw when he was piloting or something, we don’t know how exactly but shut up, that’s not the point, he just knows, okay? Damn those sneaky gays, with their wanting gay wedding cakes (or, as some of us call them, wedding cakes) and their gay marriage (i.e., marriage) and gay health care (aka health care). “Folks, they (gay people) want free medical because they’re dying (when they’re) between 30 and 44 years old,” he said. “To me, it’s a moral issue. It’s a Biblical issue. Traditional marriage is where it should be and it’s in our platform. Those in our party who oppose traditional marriage are wrong.” “I stand for traditional marriage, no homosexual ones,” he told the group. “The family unit is the basic unit in society. When you tear the family apart, you tear the country apart.” Yeah, it’s a real undermining of the sanctity of profiting off the sick and dying when gays can just go around wanting free medical care. You know who else does that? Oh, everyone, even the non-gay everyones. But, see, it is against the Bible and traditional marriage when the gays want health care because Jesus said … oh, nuts, there we go again, not finding the part of the Bible where Jesus said do not give health care to the gays because they are gay, ew gross, icky. Read more on Republican Says It’s ‘Immoral’ To Give Health Care To Gays Because Then They Use It Like A Bunch of Gays Using Health Care…
  whiners

Leave Dave Agema Alone, Cries Lispy Homophobe Stalker Andrew Shirvell

Oh my God, you guys, those awful gays just refuse to stop bullying poor Republican National Committeeman Dave Agema just because he likes to repeat defamatory lies about gays, many of whom live in the magical far away place known as the “Flight Attendant Realm” where they have wild orgies, plot half the murders in major cities, and (lesbians only) drive so recklessly that they are 534 times more likely to die in auto accidents. Subaru libel! Anyway, it seems like no one will defend delicate flower Dave Agema from these vicious people orientated toward sex partners with genitalia similar to their own. These gays are more powerful than one million atom bombs, sure, but someone must be brave enough to say: No, gays, this is still America and you cannot advance your gay lifestyle agenda by criticizing ignorant bigots for their ignorance and bigotry. Read more on Leave Dave Agema Alone, Cries Lispy Homophobe Stalker Andrew Shirvell…
  the plane! the plane!

RNC Bigot/Ex-Pilot Dave Agema Talks About His Issues Inside Homosexual ‘Flight Attendant Realm’

Republican National Committeeman Dave Agema got away with saying Obama and pretty much every terrorist is a Muslim and cutting funding to orphans and skipping budget votes to shoot sheep so it’s no wonder that he’s genuinely surprised other Republicans are now very upset because he turned his trademark awfulness toward the gays. So Agema has gone on the offensive, explaining to a northern Michigan radio host that when he says gays are a terrible threat to our collective health and safety, he’s basically just agreeing with the current Republican platform. Like a stopped clock, even Dave Agema can be right a couple times a day! Agema also explains why gay rights is a deeply person issue for him, just as it is a deeply personal issue for Rob Portman. As a silver fox commercial airline pilot, Agema is a walking gay porn archetype and, well, he can explain it: “I’ve been involved in this issue for years, way back when I worked for American Airlines this became an issue, because we had, you know obviously we had a lot of homosexuals in the flight attendant realm, and, uhh, we had issues.” Read more on RNC Bigot/Ex-Pilot Dave Agema Talks About His Issues Inside Homosexual ‘Flight Attendant Realm’…
  that's so gay

Everyone So Mad At Terrible Michigan RNC Committeeman Homophobe Dave Agema Being Terrible

Dave Agema, the Republican National Committeeman from Michigan and former state representative, is a Wonkette favorite. Wonketeers love him for his charming efforts to cut funding to a program that buys clothes for orphans, his willingness to miss key budget votes to shoot Siberian sheep, his fondness for tear-gassing American citizens, his deep-abiding belief that Barack Obama must be a Muslim, his endless curiosity about The Onion’s Obama has a secret 19-year-old son story, and his trophy wife that Wonkette commenter “Barbara_” says came engraved “fourth place.” Sadly, not everyone loves Dave Agema like you guys love him. Lots of mean, old Republicans are upset with Agema because he Facebooked a column from this right-wing witchdoctor that’s filled with erroneous information about teh gheys. It’s like, what, suddenly now it’s a problem to say “homosexuals account for half the murders in large cities”? Whatever happened to free speech and family values and the God-given right to kick homos in the teeth? With votes. Those things are gone now apparently. Even Michigan Speaker of the House Jase Bolger, who once bravely protected us from the horrors of the word “vagina” being uttered on the state house floor, is joining this lavander mob that’s bullying poor Dave Agema for repeating things that are easily disprovable and mostly implausible on their face. Read more on Everyone So Mad At Terrible Michigan RNC Committeeman Homophobe Dave Agema Being Terrible…
  absent black dads

RNC Committeeman Dave Agema: Hey Y’All Know If This Onion Story About ‘Bama’s Slow Sad Son Is True?

Republican National Committeeman and former Michigan state representative Dave Agema is a swell guy. He once, in the midst of a state budget showdown, skipped some key votes so he could hunt sheep in Russia. (True fact: The sheep were afraid, but not of getting shot!) Another time, he complained taxpayers were spending too much on clothes for orphans. And still another time, Agema, who clearly enjoys soft-focus photography and fresh-cut flowers but hates Muslims, said Barack Obama must be a Muslim because Dave Agema just feels like that’s the case. He also likes it when riot police injure American citizens. Naturally, Michigan Republicans rewarded such sound political leadership by electing Agema to serve as a Republican National Committeeman. Because of course they did. Dave Agema isn’t done riding the crazy train just because he is now responsible for the operations of one of our republic’s two major political parties. Not by a long-shot. Wednesday afternoon he tweeted out a question that has been on his mind lately: Is that story in The Onion about Obama having a secret 19-year-old son true? Read more on RNC Committeeman Dave Agema: Hey Y’All Know If This Onion Story About ‘Bama’s Slow Sad Son Is True?…
  welcome to michissippi

‘Right To Work’ Possibly The Least Awful Thing To Happen In Michigan This Week

While everyone was focused on nerd-strongman Rick Snyder and the Council of Conservative Citizens Michigan legislature passing Right to Work with the deliberation normally required to order from the Taco Bell drive-thru, Michigan’s government was busy doing all kinds of other terrible things during their lamest of lame duck sessions. Let’s take a look at some items under consideration as part of Lansing’s plan to turn Michigan into a backwater that makes Saudi Arabia look progressive and Appalachia seem prosperous. Read more on ‘Right To Work’ Possibly The Least Awful Thing To Happen In Michigan This Week…
  loves the smell of napalm in the morning

Michigan Rep Would Like To Stone Cold Crack Union Skulls For Jobs, Freedom

Union members and their allies converged on the state Capitol in Lansing today to protest the passage of Michigan’s new Right to Work law. It’s kind of a big deal. Right to Work, or “Freedom to Work” as its been rebranded, means “more and better jobs” according to Sinclair Lewis-character-turned-Governor Rick Snyder. Think of all the jobs created because thousands of people are hanging around Lansing to protest. Probably, some of them will buy coffee or cigarettes or hot dogs or whatever those swarthy labor thugs like. Also, since Michigan is your new Wisconsin, a lot of national media types will be in town to cover this mess. They’ll rent cars, book hotel rooms, expense trips to the bars. All of which creates jobs. More and better jobs! Read more on Michigan Rep Would Like To Stone Cold Crack Union Skulls For Jobs, Freedom…
  duh

This Time, It Is U.S. President Barack Obama Who Is The Muslim Terrorist, Obviously

Why let Michele Bachmann and Louie Gohmert have all the fun? And why keep the accusations of Muslim terrorism to lowly Hillary Clinton State Department deputies, when you could set your eyes on the real prize? And that is why a Republican National Committeeman from Michigan would like you to know that Barack Hussein Obama, pretender to the presidency of the United States of America, is a Muslim terrorist also too. Read more on This Time, It Is U.S. President Barack Obama Who Is The Muslim Terrorist, Obviously…
  ellen jamesian society founding members

A Children’s Treasury Of Michigan Lawmakers That Ladies Should Not Sex

In response to anti-abortion legislation that Michigan Planned Parenthood calls the “biggest assault on women’s health in our state’s history,” kick-ass state Rep. Rashida Tlaib called on ladies to to go Full Lysistrata to keep this from becoming law. (That is not Rashida Tlaib in the video above; it is Rep. Lisa Brown, being whorish by uttering the shocking swear “vagina” when discussing women’s vaginas. Rep. Brown had to go sit in the naughty corner for the rest of the day.) Tlaib didn’t go far enough, obviously. There are some Arizona Michigan lawmakers who should never, ever again get sexed by a lady because of these bills and so many other reasons. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Michigan Lawmakers That Ladies Should Not Sex…