*Cracks knuckles* TIME FOR THE POST OF THE CENTU– eh, nevermind, too mean. Just thought you all should be aware that the Proverbial Website has been discovered. Right now it’s mostly just a few… dudes… but down the road, its membership should easily surpass Hannidate’s. [Ron Paul Singles]

If watching your 401(k) melt into bits of string and space trash has only whetted your appetite for MORE risk, we would like to introduce you to CrazyBlindDate.com. This online sensation differs from other dating websites in that it essentially matches you based upon availability — rather than “49,000 proven measures of compatibility” or whatever they’re all claiming these days. MORE »

It’s no Hillary Clinton Supporters for John McCain, but this site is still what one Project Runway contestant might call a HOT TRANNY MESS. From the misspelled headline to the two alluring singles named “test” and “test2,” it has more than a whiff of the amateur…what is this, an FBI honeypot? Is Dick Cheney collecting email addresses off this thing? [Supports Obama and Single]

Setting aside his inconvenient wife, it’s clear that Barack Obama is America’s coolest bachelor president since James Buchanan. So what’s the best way for his billions of global admirers to charm their way into his fantastically pleated pants? MORE »

• President marks September 11th anniversary with visits to all three crash sites, as do victims’ families, emergency response workers, and conspiracy theorists. [WP, NYT]

• In prime-time speech last night from the White House, President says, “the safety of America depends on the outcome of the battle in the streets of Baghdad.” [WP, NYT]
• The big papers analyze the speech and context in which it was given, find him to be both at his “Reaganesque best” and “most dangerous.” [WP, NYT]
• Condoleezza Rice offers Iran, “a suspension for suspension,” no more uranium enrichment for no more UN sanctions. [NYT]
• New study finds Americans’ have “four distinct views of God’s personality.” [USAT]
• Even internet dating can’t help frustrated Iraqis looking for love among increasing sectarian divisiveness. [WP]
• DC primaries (only election that counts) today, expectations are for “a watershed election for DC.” [WP]

Forget Kansas — what’s the matter with Texas?

Most guys get in trouble for talking smack about their ex-girlfriends. But down in the Lone Star State, if you say a few nice things about your ex-girlfriend, you can get in trouble too. This is most likely to happen if you’re a judge, you said those things in 120 interviews with the media, and your ex-girlfriend was seeking an appointment to the U.S. Supreme Court at the time.

Remember Nathan L. Hecht, the Texas Supreme Court justice who rushed to the aid of his erstwhile paramour, White House Counsel Harriet Miers, during her disastrous SCOTUS nomination? Well, now he’s being dragged before the Texas State Commission on Judicial Conduct. The Commission is tsk-tsking him for trying to be a good ex-boyfriend, claiming that his public statements about Miers violated the Texas Code of Judicial Conduct, which forbids judges from “advanc[ing] the private interests of the judge or others.”

More details, after the jump.

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Oh ye of little faith! A number of you doubted the authenticity of the close encounter with Dustee Tucker that we passed along on Monday, from a tipster who claimed to have met her at Starbucks.

Truth be told, we did too. But we now have reason to believe that it was quite authentic, based on what appears to be email correspondence between Dustee and our source.

We now must ask: Is Dustee Tucker a real person? She seems superhumanly nice. She charms an entire Hawaiian resort. She’s besties with the baristas at Starbucks. And she engages in pleasant email correspondence with a man who hit on her in a Starbucks — instead of calling the police and/or seeking a temporary restraining order, which is what most women would do in her shoes.

After the jump, the correspondence — which must be read to be believed…

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Your Dustee Tucker-related submissions only grow more brilliant by the day. We have no way of independently verifying them, so we offer them with the caveat that perhaps they’re completely fabricated.

But this latest one has the ring of frightening truth to it. After the jump, a Dustee-obsessed reader’s encounter with the object of his desire, at a local area Starbucks.

Caveat lector. But even if it’s made up, we have to give our correspondent credit — it’s highly entertaining!

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* Hopefully, It would at least get him to chill out on all the wars and shit. [The Blinding Glare of the Obvious] MORE »

* Some advice for the ladies: “Stop being a bitch.” Uh, thanks. [DC Bachelor] MORE »

Despite the continued success of George Mason in the NCAA tournament, our computer troubles today have left us in a pretty foul mood. Not even that cute panda can lift our spirits. So please forgive the grumpiness. MORE »