What would happen if you joined the Marines and then were sent to Okinawa to play with radios but then got bored and pretended to have PTSD and then told little children that you ate a grenade to save Lt. Dan during a heavy firefight in Fallujah and then bought a bunch of medallions to pin on your shirt from eBay and then got all sorts of free goodies because everyone thought you were a fabulous war hero? Thanks to the efforts of a brave Marine, we now have the answer. [Washington Times] MORE »

Well, this one just smacks of implausibility — what “tall and handsome 6′3″ and work out daily” kind of guy do you know who would have to go on Craigslist looking for a party date? — but whatever, we’ll bite. He does not care if you are an 89-year-old skeletal space monster, as long as you look vaguely humanoid and want to go to an inaugural ball with this guy. He will buy you a dress, too! Oh but here is the HOOK: He’s got tickets to the Texas State Society’s Black Tie & Boots Inaugural Ball, which of course nobody wants to go to. Texas is dead to the rest of the nation. [DC Craigslist]