Remember the guy who used to be president? Yeah, him! Well, it’s going to take a little more than showing a bit of polite restraint if he wants forgiveness for … well, pretty much everything between November of 2000 and now, this very moment. But we will acknowledge the ability of even a dumb & dangerous clown to redeem himself in his final moments, as we learned from that one time when what’s his name killed his father, Darth Vader, and then Darth Vader was really just a silly old bald-headed fat guy, and then he was nice for half a second before he died, so Jesus accepted him into Heaven. MORE »

Oh here’s Mr. Teleprompter Snob, the president, who apparently thinks he’s president or something, the way he is photographed here in a common business suit. But who’s that hovering over his shoulder? Sure, it’s the real president from the 1790s, George Washington. And what is that hippie sort of ghost face on the left? Why that is Jesus Christ. And what in the hell is over Jesus the Christ’s head? Why that is Darth Vader. Barack Obama has no respect for our blurry forefathers, blurry fathers who have gone to the dark side after being chopped up by Obi-Wan Kenobi, and our fading religious figures. [White House/Pete Souza]

WEDNESDAY FUN LINK: “HOLYHEAD, Wales - A man who dressed up as Darth Vader — wearing a garbage bag for a cape — and assaulted the founders of a group called the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday.” This will happen everyday in Paulville. MORE »

Dick Cheney dressed up his two doggie woggies for Halloween! That’s “Dave” on the right as Superman, and “Jackson” on the left as Dick Cheney. Ooh, also: Michelle Malkin’s costume was an Asian. [AP]

Hey Hillary called Dick Cheney “DARTH VADER”! Ha ha ha what a cutting joke! Maybe next week she can call Bush “Chimpy McHitler” or talk about defeating the “rethuglicans.” [Politico]