Tag: darrell issa

Still missing an H

House Benghazi Report Finds No Conspiracies, Gets No Love From Fox

In a classic Friday news dump -- the favored method for releasing information when you hope the fewest people will notice -- the House Intelligence Committee released the results of its Great Big Benghazi Inquiry yesterday afternoon, and boy...

Eric Holder Peaces Out

Eric Holder has had enough of your shit, Congress. Like most of America, he is probably tired of grandstanding and bullshit partisan nonsense, so he is taking his indictments and going home. Today, Attorney General Eric Holder announced that he...

Air Force Dishonorably Discharges God

Whenever we have another awful natural disaster that wreaks havoc on America and kills folks, Bible-humpers will have a ready excuse on hand. Climate change? Hahaha, don’t be naive, you moron. Airmen who enlist or reenlist in the United States...
These are Yang worship words! You will not say them!

Happy Birthday, U.S. Constitution! Even The Parts Without Guns.

Happy Constitution Day, U.S. Wonkers of America and such as! On this day in 1987, we celebrated the 200th anniversary of the signing of the Constitution of the United States. Yr Doktor Zoom distinctly remembers how none of the...

BENGHAZI Update: House Republican Committee Calls All Other Republicans Liars

Here we go again. Another House committee, controlled by Republicans, has issued yet another wackadoodle report about BENGHAZI. Are we going to finally find out that President Obama was taking body shots off of Hillary at the time of...

Gun Dealers, Porn Stars & Payday Lenders: Darrell Issa’s Sexy Summer Break

If you are a DC politician, you are duty-bound to spend as much of the summer outside the city as possible. If you're stuck in the swamp, you can at least take advantage of the hollowed-out Capitol and switch...

Louie Gohmert Has Million-Dollar Idea

Texas trailer hitch replica Louis Gohmert wants to get to the bottom of this IRS scandal so badly he’s willing to put the taxpayers’ money where his mouth is with a bill he introduced last week, the “Identify and Return...

Surprise, Darrell Issa’s New Benghazi Revelation Not New Or A Revelation

Rancid beef jerky stick Darrell Issa has allegedly been in a snit over the new House Select Committee to investigate BENGHAAAAZI!!!11!!! because it bigfoots the investigations he has been chairing as head of the House Oversight Committee. Not that...

EPA Employee Looking For Pollution Two To Six Hours A Day, From The Comfort Of His Porn Stash

Does your job blow? Do you ever fantasize about just kicking back and watching porn all day, but wish you could still pull down a nice six-figure salary? Yeah, us too, so click on those goddam ads swirling around,...

New Docs: IRS Targeted Liberal Groups The Most. Darrell Issa To Apologize Any Day Now, We Are Sure

You may recall hearing about some small fuss over the Internal Revenue Service allegedly targeting Tea Party groups for special scrutiny, because of the Obama administration's relentless jihad against freedom? We're pretty sure we mentioned it. And despite the...

Darrell Issa F**ks Up Contempt Charges Against Lois Lerner, Because He Is Bad At His Job

Crybaby car-robber firebug Darrell Issa sucks. We could really end this post right now, but you are probably wondering why we are writing again about the sucktastic exploits of the World’s Worst Arsonist-and-Car-Robber-(and Crybaby!)-Turned-Congressman. Well, here is why: House Oversight...

George Will Remains Blissfully Unaware IRS Scandal Was Never A Real Thing

George Will sucks. He has managed to garble together some wordthings in the Washington Post about Lois Lerner and the IRS scandal, and eleventy million percent of them are full of suckitude. It is like a universal ball of...

Darrell Issa Apologizes To Elijah Cummings For Interrupting His Hissy Fit

Hey, everybody, Darrell Issa has apologized for cutting off Elijah Cummings's mic at that hearing the other day, so please move on, nothing left to see, all is well. OK, all but the part where, on the very same...

Darrell Issa Cuts Rep. Elijah Cummings’s Mic Like He Is Bill O’Reilly Or Something

So here's a good example of just how unfair and rude Democrats can be in their relentless control of the media: Watch as Rep. Elijah Cummings, against all rules of good taste, behaves as if his position as ranking...

Republicans Wasting $14 Million On IRS Non-Scandal Investigation. Food Stamps Still Being Cut.

Hey look! It’s another day, so let’s talk more about the IRS non-scandal, because apparently there is no end to the Republican appetite for self-embarrassment. As we all know, there has been absolutely no evidence of wrongdoing by the...

Just Because ‘True The Vote’ People Are Paranoid Doesn’t Mean IRS, FBI And ATF Aren’t Out To Get Them

Wonkamigos and wonkiritas, we have a problem. It seems that some piece of shit Tea Party group has decided that it is perfectly appropriate to attack our beloved 2013 Legislative Badass of the Year, Elijah Cummings (D-Pure Awesomesauce). And they...