Tag: darrell issa

Was there any other picture we could have used?

Why Dumbass Republicans Want To Impeach IRS For Doing Nothing Wrong: A Wonksplainer

Remember how we reported that the Department of Justice determined the IRS DID NOT harass teabagging morans, despite the lies of Darrell Issa & Co? We’ve known this has been a non-scandal for YEARS (proof here and here), but...
Just plain sad

What Does The Speaker Of The House Do, Other Than Adultery? A Wonksplainer

Republicans are avoiding the race for speaker of the House like how Rick Santorum avoids post-coital eye contact with goats. The job that is second in line for the presidency is only attracting whackjobs, arsonists, and tin foil hat-wearers....
Congress

Guess Which Whiny Crybaby Congressjerk Wants A Pay Raise This Time

Just to prove that Republicans do not have a monopoly on dick moves, Florida Rep. Alcee Hastings, who is ostensibly a Democrat -- the kind who won't campaign against Republicans -- is the latest member of Congress to whine...
The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker

The Fartknocker Report: Help, Help, Sarah Palin Is Being Repressed!

In one of her three new videos this week — seven minutes and 34 seconds of total run time, for those keeping score at home — Sarah Palin decided to squawk about Lois Lerner, because apparently that horse is not...
He does not even seem nice

Congressjerk Darrell Issa So Grateful Rudy Giuliani Finally Impugned Obama’s Patriotism

Now that ex-mayor and forever scumbag Rudy Giuliani has finally, for the first time ever, raised the question of whether Barack Obama really and truly loves America -- because that question has never been asked before -- some Republicans couldn't...
We're just kidding. Nobody's sitting calmly and playing cards in this one.

House Benghazi Committee To Investigate House Benghazi Committee

In a development that absolutely no one could have predicted if they were a blind cave fish happily feeding on isopods in a subterranean lake, it appears that there are Deep Partisan Rifts on the House Select Committee on...

Darrell Issa Still F*cking That IRS Chicken

Congressman Darrell Issa (R-Richest Man in Congress) became a regular feature on the Conservative Top 40 charts this year with his songs of IRS malfeasance. Now, with the holidays fast approaching, Issa's releasing a Christmas album -- no new content, just...
Still missing an H

House Benghazi Report Finds No Conspiracies, Gets No Love From Fox

In a classic Friday news dump -- the favored method for releasing information when you hope the fewest people will notice -- the House Intelligence Committee released the results of its Great Big Benghazi Inquiry yesterday afternoon, and boy...

Eric Holder Peaces Out

Eric Holder has had enough of your shit, Congress. Like most of America, he is probably tired of grandstanding and bullshit partisan nonsense, so he is taking his indictments and going home. Today, Attorney General Eric Holder announced that he...

Air Force Dishonorably Discharges God

Whenever we have another awful natural disaster that wreaks havoc on America and kills folks, Bible-humpers will have a ready excuse on hand. Climate change? Hahaha, don’t be naive, you moron. Airmen who enlist or reenlist in the United States...
These are Yang worship words! You will not say them!

Happy Birthday, U.S. Constitution! Even The Parts Without Guns.

Happy Constitution Day, U.S. Wonkers of America and such as! On this day in 1987, we celebrated the 200th anniversary of the signing of the Constitution of the United States. Yr Doktor Zoom distinctly remembers how none of the...

BENGHAZI Update: House Republican Committee Calls All Other Republicans Liars

Here we go again. Another House committee, controlled by Republicans, has issued yet another wackadoodle report about BENGHAZI. Are we going to finally find out that President Obama was taking body shots off of Hillary at the time of...

Gun Dealers, Porn Stars & Payday Lenders: Darrell Issa’s Sexy Summer Break

If you are a DC politician, you are duty-bound to spend as much of the summer outside the city as possible. If you're stuck in the swamp, you can at least take advantage of the hollowed-out Capitol and switch...

Louie Gohmert Has Million-Dollar Idea

Texas trailer hitch replica Louis Gohmert wants to get to the bottom of this IRS scandal so badly he’s willing to put the taxpayers’ money where his mouth is with a bill he introduced last week, the “Identify and Return...

Surprise, Darrell Issa’s New Benghazi Revelation Not New Or A Revelation

Rancid beef jerky stick Darrell Issa has allegedly been in a snit over the new House Select Committee to investigate BENGHAAAAZI!!!11!!! because it bigfoots the investigations he has been chairing as head of the House Oversight Committee. Not that...

EPA Employee Looking For Pollution Two To Six Hours A Day, From The Comfort Of His Porn Stash

Does your job blow? Do you ever fantasize about just kicking back and watching porn all day, but wish you could still pull down a nice six-figure salary? Yeah, us too, so click on those goddam ads swirling around,...