darrell issa
Wednesday Nice Time: Eric Holder Tells Darrell Issa to STFU
The hardest part of covering the political firestorms currently sucking all the oxygen out of the atmosphere is that nearly all of the players are such unlikable dicks. In fact, out of everyone in the media and every politician who has thrust his or her sneering visage in front of the cameras to uselessly bloviate [...]
Republicans Publicly Masturbate to BENGHAZIIIIIIII!!!! On Taxpayers’ Dime All Day
Happy BENGHAZIIII!!!!1! Day, everyone. At long last, it’s here — the day children wait for all year, trying to be good and leaving out cookies before they go to bed in the hopes that Republicans will come in the dead of night to bring them tax cuts and transvaginal ultrasounds and the headbanded head of [...]
Today’s John Boehner Update, In Which Peter King Dashes Our Dreams of Continued Fightsies
Remember yesterday? Yesterday was AWESOME. Yesterday was the day when everybody – literally, everybody ever – hated John Boehner for behaving in a cartoon-villian-level of evil fashion and not bringing the Sandy relief bill to the floor. Leading the mob, avec pitchforks, was our surprising new hero Chris Christie, who rolled up and brought it. [...]
Karma Burgles Car Robber-Arsonist-Congressman’s Darrell Issa’s House
Hey, did you know that Congressman Darrell Issa invented your neighbor’s car alarm, the one that goes off for hours at a time, because your neighbor is a fucking asshole? Congressman Darrell Issa got the idea for a car alarm after a satisfying career as a car robber and arsonist. He made hundreds of millions [...]
Hero Utah Congressman Jason Chaffetz Outs Pretty Much Entire CIA
Jason Chaffetz, how is your MENSA membership? Still in good standing? Oh, good! Now, we know you and your brethren want to make some political hay out of the Libya fiasco. Who could blame you? Even we were like (secretly, in our brainpans), sup, did Hillz drop the ball? And if hacks like us are [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Contrarian Republican Commentary on Hurricane Isaac
What is Hurricane Isaac to certain more outspoken member of the Republican party? A disaster, perhaps, that could destroy the northern Gulf Coast yet again? Maybe it’s an Obama Commerce Department conspiracy. Or a welcome opening of the skies that keeps Joe Biden away. Or maybe it’s nothing, and no one should give a shit, [...]
What Are We Naming After Ronald Reagan Today? (Hint: It Is ‘All The Oceans’)
Highly esteemed car robber and arsonist Darrell Issa is taking a moment’s break from his hectic schedule of arresting the president for purposely giving guns to Mexican gangsters so the UN can implement gun control in Colorado, and focusing on what really matters: naming the oceans after a great man whose main claim to fame [...]
Darrell Issa Will Put Eric Holder In Gitmo Forever And Then Steal His Cars
Oil-soaked arsonist car thief Rep. Darrell Issa, the unlikely subpoena-wielding chair of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, appears at long last to be fulfilling his duty of stickin’ it to the Obama administration over one grossly exaggerated scandal during an election year. Since Issa and AG Eric Holder weren’t able to reach a [...]
GOP Goes With ‘Pompous Sausagefest’ Theme For Contraception Hearing
Here’s a fun game! Look at the above photo of the panel invited to testify at serial car thief Darrell Issa’s House Oversight and Government Reform hearing this morning on “religious liberty” and “freedom of conscience,” with regards to the ongoing contraception and women’s health donnybrook. Do you notice something… missing… at this tiresome preachfest [...]
50 Richest Members of Congress List Winner Worth $294 Million!
Roll Call published its annual list of the 50 richest members of Congress, a pleasant regular reminder to voters that the halls of government are filled sloppy with rich folk who have subzero personal incentive beyond the mental exercise of “imagining what it feels like to be poor” to write our nation’s rules. Here are [...]
Former Goldman VP Got Sexy Name Change Before Getting Job in Congress
The weird mutants staffing Darrell Issa’s House Oversight Committee are for once being documented mutants: Issa staffer Peter Haller, who mostly scribbles furious letters to government regulators demanding they quit harassing Goldman Sachs with horrible strict rules like, “at least use condoms when you’re screwing everyone,” was also Peter Simonyi who dealt with government regulators as [...]
Scott Walker Says His Attack On U.S. Workers ‘Is Truly Progressive’
The Koch Brothers’ dumb little whore from Wisconsin, Scott Walker, is testifying before Congress today — and he’s got a very unique take on the class war he’s waging against the working citizens of his state. “In Wisconsin, we are doing something truly progressive. In addition to holding the line on spending and finding efficiencies [...]
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