Wonkette

* Funksgiving at Saint Ex. Free dancing at 10PM. [Brightest Young Things]
* Leftover Crack, The Sainte Catherines and Dead to Me at the Black Cat. $10 at 8PM. [Black Cat]
* The Legend of Paul and Paula at AFI. “A cult favorite so popular that official media blackouts could not keep audiences away. Filmmakers Plenzdorf and Carow winningly portray everyday life in East Berlin in a story of undefeatable, passionate love between a single mother and a married bureaucrat. Featuring the music of the East German cult rock band, The Puhdys.” 9:05PM. [AFI]

Friday

• 25th Annual SEC Capital Kickoff at City Tavern Club. $30 at 9PM. Because it’s the future, no tickets sold at the door. [Mollyguard]

• Shortstack, Brandon Butler, Revival, These United States, Vandaveer, John Bustine $10 at 9PM. [Rock and Roll Hotel]
• The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour from 1967 with Mickey Rooney, Bette Davis and The Who. Rowan & Martin’s Laugh In from 1970 with Danny Kaye. Free at 7PM. LOC. [LOC]

Saturday

• Bliss 6th Anniversary Party at the Black Cat. Georgie James to entertain and stimulate. $10 at 9:30PM. [Black Cat]

• Chuck Brown at 9:30 Club. You know, “I Need Some Money.” $25. Just tell ‘em you “have a 9:30 to catch” [9:30]
• Guided educational day trip: “Follow the route of the Confederates’ 17-mile-long wagon train carrying the wounded. Included is the site of fighting that took place at Fairfield, where the Confederates routed the 6th U.S. Cavalry, as well as Monterey Pass, Hagerstown, and Funkstown.” Eat lunch at the Cashtown Inn. Say hi to George Allen. 7AM. [Smithsonian]
• Snake Apt, Pissed Jeans, Navies and Manhunter at the Warehouse. 8:30PM. [WND]

Sunday

• “National Small Works” at the Washington Printmakers Gallery. 12PM- 5PM. [Washington Printmakers Gallery]

• 2nd Annual DC Poetry Festival with Brian Jackson and Original Guerilla Band Breeze, Aqiyl, Charneice Fox,
  Anisley Burrows, Humza, Brother Earl, Shakespeare Blak, Leroy Stringer, Jr., Tim’m West Steven B and Friends. Not sure who any of these poets are, but you can de-regret your Saturday night by sitting outside, clapping. Carter Barron Amphitheater. Free at 1PM. [Carter Barron]

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We’ve given the WHCD festivities lavish treatment in these pages (click here, scroll down). But our coverage up to this point has omitted one of the biggest pleasures of the D.C. party circuit: MORE »

* Do we really need to say anything more than “Amatuer Pink Vegan Jello Wrestling”? Registration ends at 6, so get your hot Vegan ass down to 18th St. pronto, ladies. [Asylum]
* If your significant other doesn’t want you wrestling or ogling (or if, for some bizarre reason, that scene doesn’t appeal to you), the Black Cat’s annual V-Day dance party is being held, confusingly, at Local 16 tonight. If you don’t have a significant other, show up and sort of nod your head in the back. [WP CityGuide]
* It’s still winter! Go ice skating! Hurry! It’ll all melt and then we’ll be stuck with lame summer activities like golf and sweating! [Reston Town Center]