Hey now wait, Tucker Carlson’s MSNBC show ended some time in the last three weeks, knew that, but did anyone actually *watch* the last episode? Ha ha ha, ha. Well he ended it with some inspired Latino dancing with his gay partner and you can view it above! What is wrong with him? [YouTube]

How much does Chris Matthews hate women? So much that he fondles the breasts of a lesbian superstar on her own television program. And then he hurls her into a chair. The man is a MONSTER.

Remember the hilarious dance routine Bush did last week to distract us all from his endorsement of Elderly nut John McCain? There is video proof, thanks to the Associated Press! Enjoy this while we wait for the video of Bush’s gay-cowboy Broadway debut. [Associated Press]

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As anyone who has seen White Nights can attest, there is one force in the world more dangerous and powerful than love. Or democracy. Wonkette operative “Ivan” sends us this image captured by the New York Times, in which we see secret agents smuggling this highly volatile substance into a major metropolitan area in Pakistan. MORE »

A few weeks ago, we shared with you a video of NBC Chief White House Correspondent David Gregory shaking his groove thing to Mary J. Blige. Today, we present the first-ever dance competition between a White House Correspondent and a candidate for the White House: David Gregory vs. Barack Obama! Once you view the video, please play judge and vote in our poll.

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A family of scientifically advanced, bipedal polar bears migrated from the North Pole yesterday to participate in an adorable dance-off outside of the Capitol. And by dance-off we mean, in the WP’s words, “demonstration intended to voice a broad list of complaints about global warming, war and sexism.” The savvy beasts joined a full-size Condoleezza Rice bobblehead doll and many well-wishing humans in a rally vaguely related to the “October rebellion.” That’s the one in which a bunch of anti-neo-liberal ‘bags attacked Georgetown last Friday, and where some chick got hit in the face with a brick.

Watch the cuddly bears dance and sing about the military-industrial complex, honey pots and so forth in the video above. After the jump, watch these same cuddly bears get arrested by stupid meanie cops!! MORE »

“Support the Troops Dance Off” will restore you faith in our mission in Iraq, or something. [IraqSlogger]

* After she delights and amuses Judge Walton, Andrea Mitchell will (probably) drag her ass to the Smithsonian for a book promotion/interview with Gwen Ifill. $25 at 8PM. [Smithsonian]
* Learn ballroom dancing in the “Corcoran’s famed interior.” Includes the Fox Trot, the Cha-Cha and the Tango. For you hand-sweaters, free champagne. Cocktail attire is encouraged. $45 solo, $75 for a couple at 7PM. Do it for the Tuckster, “I’m 37. I’ve got four kids. I have a steady job. I don’t do things that I’m not good at very often. I’m psyched to get to do that.” [Corcoran]
* Apples in Stereo, Casper & The Cookies at the Black Cat. $15 at 8PM. [Black Cat]
* Stellastarr and Soft Complex at the Rock & Roll Hotel. $14 at 8PM. [R&R]
* Or just stay in and lock your door and for godssake STAY OFF THE ROADS — there’s SNOW!

* Funksgiving at Saint Ex. Free dancing at 10PM. [Brightest Young Things]
* Leftover Crack, The Sainte Catherines and Dead to Me at the Black Cat. $10 at 8PM. [Black Cat]
* The Legend of Paul and Paula at AFI. “A cult favorite so popular that official media blackouts could not keep audiences away. Filmmakers Plenzdorf and Carow winningly portray everyday life in East Berlin in a story of undefeatable, passionate love between a single mother and a married bureaucrat. Featuring the music of the East German cult rock band, The Puhdys.” 9:05PM. [AFI]

Friday

• 25th Annual SEC Capital Kickoff at City Tavern Club. $30 at 9PM. Because it’s the future, no tickets sold at the door. [Mollyguard]

• Shortstack, Brandon Butler, Revival, These United States, Vandaveer, John Bustine $10 at 9PM. [Rock and Roll Hotel]
• The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour from 1967 with Mickey Rooney, Bette Davis and The Who. Rowan & Martin’s Laugh In from 1970 with Danny Kaye. Free at 7PM. LOC. [LOC]

Saturday

• Bliss 6th Anniversary Party at the Black Cat. Georgie James to entertain and stimulate. $10 at 9:30PM. [Black Cat]

• Chuck Brown at 9:30 Club. You know, “I Need Some Money.” $25. Just tell ‘em you “have a 9:30 to catch” [9:30]
• Guided educational day trip: “Follow the route of the Confederates’ 17-mile-long wagon train carrying the wounded. Included is the site of fighting that took place at Fairfield, where the Confederates routed the 6th U.S. Cavalry, as well as Monterey Pass, Hagerstown, and Funkstown.” Eat lunch at the Cashtown Inn. Say hi to George Allen. 7AM. [Smithsonian]
• Snake Apt, Pissed Jeans, Navies and Manhunter at the Warehouse. 8:30PM. [WND]

Sunday

• “National Small Works” at the Washington Printmakers Gallery. 12PM- 5PM. [Washington Printmakers Gallery]

• 2nd Annual DC Poetry Festival with Brian Jackson and Original Guerilla Band Breeze, Aqiyl, Charneice Fox,
  Anisley Burrows, Humza, Brother Earl, Shakespeare Blak, Leroy Stringer, Jr., Tim’m West Steven B and Friends. Not sure who any of these poets are, but you can de-regret your Saturday night by sitting outside, clapping. Carter Barron Amphitheater. Free at 1PM. [Carter Barron]