dancing with the stars
Teevee’s absolute worst offense against humankind “Dancing With the Stars” is now also teevee’s worst offense against that other section of beings “the teabaggers,” because one of the illiterate trolls in Andrew Breitbart’s stable of typing tumors at BigHollywood.com just, uh, happened to notice some costume designer dude on the show picking up a gorilla [...]
Monstrous trash-cable crime-porn death-beast Nancy Grace is joining the noxious reality-celeb ritual gyration glitter program Dancing With the Stars. This is Living Proof that Satan is real and amongst us, today. Americans watch THIRTY-SIX HOURS OF TEEVEE per week, every week, on their slow Rascal-assisted journey to the Medicare Crematorium, so it’s very likely that [...]
PARENTS: YOUR KIDS ARE CATCHING “THE TRANSSEXUAL” THROUGH THE TEEVEE. THIS IS SERIOUS. THIS IS HOW PIG AIDS STARTED, REMEMBER??? Fox News morality police chief Keith Ablow: Casting Chaz Bono on “Dancing with the Stars” is part of Chaz’s victory tour, which has included appearances on talk shows and the release of a book called “Transition.” [...]
Delaware clown-fish Christine O’Donnell used to go on the teevee all the time because hey, free snacks backstage! Maybe even a few hundred bucks! And she would just say whatever popped up in her weird head — masturbation, “dates” beneath Satanic alters, other witch issues. But, apparently, Christine O’Donnell had a brief moment of self-awareness [...]
My secret fantasy is to be on “Dancing” but of course I would never dare. I can see Len saying in a caustic British accent, “That was absolutely the worst Paso Doble I have ever seen in my 11 seasons on this show!” And Bruno, standing up, tearing at his hair, “What are you thinking?! [...]
According to the complaint, Cowan and his wife were watching “Dancing with the Stars” when Cowan jumped up and swore as Bristol Palin appeared, saying something about “the (expletive) politics.” Cowan was upset that a political figure’s daughter was on the show when he didn’t think she was a good dancer, the complaint states. According [...]
Sarah Palin fans on the Internet are pretty much spending all their free time these days doing one thing: making sure Bristol Palin stays on her dancing teevee show and is not fired or executed or given a poison tulip or whatever. These people are actual, middle-aged adults in the primes of their lives, and [...]
Hey hey, Bristol Palin is still on that terrible dancing teevee show that makes her dress up as a pink-bowed gorilla furry! Sarah is very proud of her, because she is an important example for all incomprehensible vapid young media personalities: They’re going to criticize you anyway, so you may as well be substantive and [...]
Remember when we noted yesterday that Bristol Palin said she would be doing “the jive” on national teevee and we joked that she would do it in blackface? Yeah, well, no, she did it in a gorilla suit, which is less offensive, we guess. But that is not the correct animal! In the modern American [...]
Sarah Palin gave an interview to something called “Zap2it,” and it turns out she is very proud of Bristol for dancing with the gays on some teevee show. “This is so Bristol, challenging herself, getting out of her comfort zone,” Sarah said, referring to Bristol’s propensity to “try anything once,” even if she’s not using [...]
Hey, there’s America’s favorite biker and her Chief of Staff Piper on that one teevee show, America’s Funniest Home Videos or whatever. We are told the dancers have courage and joy and thus we have lost another few minutes of our existence to this woman. BUT WAS SHE BOOED? DID THIS CROWD DECIDE SHE IS [...]
According to this Team Sarah thread, anyway. Amazingly, they had some sort of election last night on her dancing show, and she made it through. Famous-for-formerly-being-famous David Hasselhoff was “kicked off.” [Team Sarah]
What is the most important thing Sarah Palin is doing today? Surprisingly, the answer is not “beating Bristol with a two-by-four as punishment for finishing behind Rick Fox on Dancing With The Stars.” No, the elder Palin’s most vital pursuit of the day is once again selfishly usurping Michele Bachmann’s weekly Wonkette vlog. But fret [...]
Important grandma Sarah Palin was supposed to fly to LA last night to watch her daughter dance around like a common strumpet — even though Sarah would have been in constant danger of being assassinated by Hamas. Did you stay up all night long, fretting like a worrywart about Sarah Palin’s safety? That was very [...]
World’s worst mom Sarah Palin is bringing her Hollywood Values to Hollywood tonight for a taping of Bristol Palin’s new teen-pregnancy documentary, Dancing With the Stars. And security will be heavy, because come on, Sarah Palin is a celebrity. And if anything happens, god forbid, security at CBS Television City have reportedly been told that [...]
