Tag Archives: Dana Rohrabacher

  clipbait

Jon Stewart To House Science Committee: ‘Are You F-cking Kidding Me?!?!?’ (Video)

The stupid is on fire in here
Jon Stewart took a moment to talk about the weekend’s climate change march in New York, and wondered why it’s even necessary to have a march about global warming — after all, isn’t the climate science settled? Ah, but then he remembered: there’s this thing called the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology, which is largely made up of Republicans who think that science is whatever Koch Industries says it is. Stewart looked at last week’s hearing on the Obama administration’s new carbon emissions rules, which as we’ve already noted included Indiana congressgoober Larry Bucshon explaining he doesn’t believe scientists, since all their big-money research depends on finding evidence of global warming. Read more on Jon Stewart To House Science Committee: ‘Are You F-cking Kidding Me?!?!?’ (Video)…
  birth of a notion

Google Gaffes, Gets Dippy Dana Rohrabacher In High Dudgeon Over Dinesh D’Souza’s New Doc

It is strange goddamn times we live in when Dana Rohrabacher says something astoundingly, head-smackingly dumb and it’s still barely in the top fifty of dumb things we’ve heard this week. Nonetheless and also such as, this is pretty dumb. Republican Congressman Dana Rohrabacher, a frequent foe of Google, is demanding to know why the giant Internet company was fumbling the search results for Dinesh D’Souza’s movie America for nearly three weeks. “This doesn’t deserve to be ignored. We need to verify the statistics in some way, and I will be suggesting the appropriate committee or subcommittee have some kind of hearing on this,” Rohrbacher said. “We know there were significant incidences, and that would suggest there was intent behind Google’s nonperformance.” Read more on Google Gaffes, Gets Dippy Dana Rohrabacher In High Dudgeon Over Dinesh D’Souza’s New Doc…
  a truly heroic imagination

Dana Rohrabacher Will Protect America From The Tyranny Of Fluoride

Have you read yr Wonkette’s treasure trove of Dana Rohrabacher posts? Now is an excellent time to refresh your memory regarding Orange County’s — nay, California’s — greatest Congresscritter. Rohrabacher is a veritable Renaissance Man of dumb. He’s a climate change denier, a Benghazi truther, a True and Loyal Friend to the Taliban, and, perhaps weirdest of all, a filth monster. So it’s no wonder that he’s a featured speaker at the Heartland Institute’s Conference For People Who Don’t Believe In Science Global Warming Thingy (which you can stream live, you lucky devil you). Rohrabacher opened the conference last night and decided to kick it old school and deliver a diatribe against water fluoridation, because apparently it is the 1950s in Dana Rohrabacher’s brain. Read more on Dana Rohrabacher Will Protect America From The Tyranny Of Fluoride…
  Nice time: Gettin' hiiiiiiiigh edition

House Votes For Sane Marijuana Thing, And We’re Still Mad Anyway

So the House did an amazingly rational thing — yes, we are all quite shocked, quite — and voted to prohibit “the DEA from spending funds to arrest state-licensed medical marijuana patients.” Hooray! We can smoke ’em if we got ’em for medical reasons! The bill passed with bipartisan support, 219-189. Finally, Democrats and Republicans can agree on something. As Rep. Dana Rohrabacher so perfectly stated, it “should be a no-brainer,” especially for states’ rights loving conservatives. Which is why he so eloquently and compassionately freedomsplained: “Some people are suffering and if a doctor feels that he needs to prescribe something to alleviate that suffering it is immoral for this government to get in the way,” Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Calif.) said. “And that’s what’s happening. The state governments have recognized that a doctor has a right to treat his patient in any way he sees fit and so did our founding fathers. I ask for support for my amendment.” Good point, sir. Quite noble to acknowledge that a doctor should be able to treat “his” (not her, of course) patient, just like Thomas Jesus Jefferson wanted and that to interfere with that most holy of private relationships is in fact immoral. Rohrabacher also debunked the junk science mentioned by some of his Republican colleagues who are proud graduates of the Acme School of Medicine for Wingnuts that marijuana has no medical benefits. “Over half the states have already gone through every argument that was presented and decided against what you just heard,” Rohrabacher argued. “There are doctors in every one of those states that participated in a long debate over this and found exactly the opposite of what we’ve heard today.” How could you argue with doctors? And science? And after all, as conservatives who believe in states’ rights, who is the federal government to tell those states what to do? Especially when it is a private matter between doctors and patients about how to best address their needs. Who indeed. Read more on House Votes For Sane Marijuana Thing, And We’re Still Mad Anyway…
  it's gettin warm in herre so take off all your regulations

House GOP, Unable To Help Itself, Chooses Climate Change Denier To Head Environment Subcommittee

In a House of Representatives where Michele Bachmann is on the House Intelligence Committee and Paul “Evolution is a Lie” Broun and climate change deniers Dana Rohrabacher and Lamar Smith are on the Science Committee, it only makes sense that another climate change denier on the committee, Arizona’s David Schweikert, would be named to head the Science Committee’s environmental subcommittee. It’s really just a matter of balance, after all — if virtually all climate scientists agree that climate change is real, then you want to have laws that give equal balance to the opinions of nonscientists who watch Fox News and the views of engineers and scientists employed by the oil and coal business. That may not be how science works, but it’s certainly how politics does. Read more on House GOP, Unable To Help Itself, Chooses Climate Change Denier To Head Environment Subcommittee…
  just scratching the tip of the rapidly melting iceberg

Wingnuts And The Crazy Things They Said About Science: Let Us Review 2013 And Weep For The Planet

The end of another year is upon us, worthly Wonkette scum. Another year in the books of us reading terrible things about terrible people and then writing about them in joke form for your entertainment, if one can call misanthropic snark about utter morons entertaining. You are all masochists, obviously, and leading you through the feverish and diseased minds of the wingnuts has been a joyless slog for us. So what better way to mark the end of 2013 than with a look back at some of the terribly dumb and inaccurate statements made about science and medicine that we remarked upon as we trampled through the saw grass and muck of the swamps on the American right? Come, let us reminisce together. Read more on Wingnuts And The Crazy Things They Said About Science: Let Us Review 2013 And Weep For The Planet…
  christmas cheer

On Scale Of One To Dana Rohrabacher, How Drunk Is Marco Rubio In His Christmas Video?

On a scale of one to Dana Rohrabacher, Kaili thinks the answer is “Boehner.” Snipy would like to point out his Lizard People Eyes and slow blinking. We personally like the slurring of “Christians” and also the cheezy boybander smile at the end. Happy Christmas, Marco Rubio, your family seems nice. Read more on On Scale Of One To Dana Rohrabacher, How Drunk Is Marco Rubio In His Christmas Video?…
  this is why we can't have nice things

Congresslout Dana Rohrabacher Missed Getting On ‘Hoarders’ By *This* Much

You’d like to think that if you were renting your million-dollar California house to a freakin’ congressman they’d take decent care of the place, wouldn’t you? You know, unless maybe it was Sen. John Blutarsky or the Hon. Oscar Madison. If there’s any justice in how memes travel, let’s hope that California Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Taliban) will someday becomes equally synonymous with “slovenly sloppy piggy-man.” Just look at how he trashed the four-bedroom, four-bathroom, house in Costa Mesa that he moved into on April 1, 2010. Between then and his departure in August 2012, he and his family managed to turn the place into a pigsty (possibly literally — that may explain some of the stains). Massive black stains and muck covered the carpet throughout the home. Sticky grime encased damaged, rusted appliances. Denied water, once-thriving outside plants and grass dried up and died. Blinds were cracked. Black dirt ruined the appearance of once-sparkling tile floors. Walls inexplicably contained odd holes, nail polish, wax and some smelly substance that may have been feces. There is almost certainly a reasonable explanation for this. Probably it involves strong drink and an even stronger sense of “Fuck you, I’m in Congress, I can do what I want.” At this point, of course, we are merely speculating. Read more on Congresslout Dana Rohrabacher Missed Getting On ‘Hoarders’ By *This* Much…
  dance rummy dance!

On Scale Of One To Dana Rohrabacher, How Drunk Is Dana Rohrabacher In This Video?

This video of Marsha Blackburn, the gentlelady from Stepford, and Dana Rohrabacher, “the” “surfing” “congressman” (he lies as much about surfing as he does the rest of the time his lips are moving), is a few days old. It is so old that the government hadn’t even shut down yet, nor herded all the World War II veterans into their FEMA camps! But we are showing it to you anyway, because it seems like Dana Rohrabacher might be drunk? Watch him laugh with delight about the government shutdown! Everything is funny when you’re schnockered! Read more on On Scale Of One To Dana Rohrabacher, How Drunk Is Dana Rohrabacher In This Video?…
  creature features

Cosmic Fireballs, Water On Mars, And Why House Republicans Are Like Stoned Kids, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog

Hey there, Wonketeers! It’s time once again for another appalling Wonkette Sci-Blog. Fire one up and come on in. Sometimes it’s just not a good idea to let the Stoned Kid drive. Many years ago a group of us were driving around wearing various aspects of an Illegal Smile (as was the fashion of the time). The Stoned Kid who had been driving pulled up to the red stoplight at an intersection fairly competently and waited. So far, so good. Then, the left turn lane arrow switched to green. Stoned Kid sees the green arrow and floors the big American sedan straight through the intersection, grinning and blissfully ignorant of the enraged panel van driver he cut off. “Uh, Jesus! You just blew through a red light, Stoned Kid!” “What? No! The light was green!” “No, dammit! That was a turn lane! Your light was red!” “No! The light was green! GREEN MEANS GO!” “No, the arrow was green! Your light was red!” “Bite me! It was GREEN! GREEN MEANS GO!” Needless to say, Stoned Kid was forcibly replaced by a more able driver soon after and we all made it safely through that night. Sometimes you have to recognize who’s able to cope with reality and who isn’t. Read more on Cosmic Fireballs, Water On Mars, And Why House Republicans Are Like Stoned Kids, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog…
  the final derptier

House GOP Will Explain To NASA All About This Space And Science Stuff

Hello, have you met the Republican wingnuts on the House Science Committee? They include: Paul Broun, who has told supporters that evolution and the big bang theory “are lies straight from the pit of hell,”  and Dana Rorhabacher, who once suggested that temperature fluctuations on earth millions of years ago can be traced to dinosaur flatulence. There is also good old Todd Akin, who has stated that “legitimate” rape cannot result in pregnancy because women’s bodies have a way to “shut that whole thing down.” So it is not really a big surprise that these learned men reviewed NASA’s carefully prepared plans, shot them to shit, and gave them new marching orders to complete on a reduced budget: Read more on House GOP Will Explain To NASA All About This Space And Science Stuff…
  well that's just like your opinion man

Dana Rohrabacher Will Holocaust Science With A Holocaust Of Facts Because Holocaust

For this science-related item, yr Wonkette will start like all good scientists with a hypothesis: conservative wingnuts are a bunch of sniveling titty-babies whose sense of entitled butthurt is directly proportional to their tendency to say incredibly stupid things. In support of our theory we present crusty fuck-sock Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, a bloviating sack of fail from the part of Southern California that we would like to load onto a flatbed and send off to be stapled to Texas where it belongs. Rohrabacher sits on the House Committee for Science, Space, and Technology, where he always has helpful suggestions for solving the looming calamity of global climate change. Read more on Dana Rohrabacher Will Holocaust Science With A Holocaust Of Facts Because Holocaust…
  feel good hit of the summer

Steven Seagal Is Your New Dennis Rodman, America

We know we are late to the game on the whole Steven Seagal goes to Russia thingy. Our aversion is half-boredom, half-what the fuck, half-shut up Dana Rohrabacher. But we cannot think of anything else to write about today, so here goes! So Steven Seagal went to Russia to hang out with super-cuddly Vladimir Putin, whose stance on human rights is as delightfully consistent as it is awful. What fun things are a retrograde longing-for-the-Soviet-era world leader and a washed-up action film star up to? So much things! Read more on Steven Seagal Is Your New Dennis Rodman, America…
  Me Libya Long Time

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher’s New Very Sane Benghazi Theory: Obama Let Ambassador Die To Win Reelection

Delusional surfin’ fuckstick Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R – The Taliban), not having access to any actual dead horses or a riding crop, returned yesterday to one of his favorite topics, the still utterly mysterious events of September 11, 2012, in Benghazi, Libya. We presume maybe you’ve heard something about that? It seems that Rep. Rohrabacher (We will just call him RepRohr, and imagine his name being said by George Jetson’s dog Astro) has a new theory about what happened: Barack Obama gave some thought to sending a rescue mission, but decided to sit back and let Ambassador Chris Stevens die because he is both weaker and more Machiavellian than Jimmy Carter. Makes sense to us, dood. Read more on Rep. Dana Rohrabacher’s New Very Sane Benghazi Theory: Obama Let Ambassador Die To Win Reelection…
  Terror a New One

GOP Congressman Spitty With Fury Over Susan Rice’s Benghazi ‘Lies’

Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-The Taliban) is very, VERY concerned about all the lies that the Obama Administration has been telling about Benghazi, and so to even things up, he has some lies of his own to tell! On Fox News, Rohrabacher told Greta Van Susteren that he was convinced that U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice lied like crazy about the attacks when discussing them on Sunday talk shows five days later: “They knew within a matter of hours, if not right away, that this was an organized, armed hit job by al-Qaida, probably, but an organized, commanded effort to murder our people,” Rohrabacher charged, dismissing Rice’s assertion that “movie rage,” as the congressman put it, was the catalyst behind the attack. “That was a lie. They knew it was lie when they said it,” the California Republican said. “When they sent out Ambassador Rice to all the talk shows, they knew that was not the truth. When you tell something that’s not the truth to the American people, especially in the middle of a crisis, they shouldn’t expect to get away with it and be forgiven.” Oh, except that’s kind of not really what Rice said? That’s probably all right, though, since it’s on Fox, so getting something only half right is a step up for them? Read more on GOP Congressman Spitty With Fury Over Susan Rice’s Benghazi ‘Lies’…
  here is your d-day anniversary post

GOP Congressman Calls China Government a Bunch of Hitlers

Whose turn is it to play Adolf Hitler today in the forever binary saga of the Republicans versus secret zombie Adolf Hitler come back from the dead disguised as (insert ridiculous noun here) to devour hysterical conservatives? This kitten? Mitt Romney’s spell-checker? Or maybe some elementary school teachers? For the answer, let’s either re-read the post title or, alternately, consult the interchangeable screaming Republican congressman shuffling around on the House floor at any given hour, “Rep. Dana Rohrabacher” this time, sure: It is the Chinese government. The government is murdering people. Just like Hitler did! Read more on GOP Congressman Calls China Government a Bunch of Hitlers…