Tag: dana perino

This isn't about democracy, this is about politics. Which Democracy doesn't need.

Andrea Tantaros’s Lawsuit Against Fox News Is OMG WTF INSANE!

Bill O'Reilly's in there too. AND former Sen. Scott Brown. AND Dean Cain. AND AND AND AND AND!

Wonkagenda: Friday, August 19, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW

Fox News Idiots Wish Fox News Idiots Weren’t So Mad At Fox News Idiots Right Now

Oh no, there is trouble right here in River City, by which we mean at Fox News! And it's all about that Donald Trump boy. SOME PEOPLE at Fox News think he's the bees tits, whereas OTHERS think he...
Schemers.

Fox News Wondering If Maybe Hillary Knocked Chelsea Up For Political Reasons

Fox News's Eric Bolling squatted in his thinking spot, started making that familiar face somewhere between pleasure and agony, and pinched a Hot Take into his underpants about Hillary Clinton. Do you think maybe that shrill harpy Benghazi lady...
Him?

Daddy Bush Says It’s Dick’s Fault Dubya Was A Idiot

Damn it, Poppy, you were a lot more likable when you were flashing your fabulous stripey socks and doing gay-lesbian weddings and jumping out of planes for your 117th birthday. Why, we could almost forget that you were the one...
Don't you want a t-shirt that looks like this? CLICK INSIDE TO GET IT!

Hillary Clinton And Sid Blumenthal Did Benghazi, For LOLs. Your Weekly Top Ten

Well hello there, Wonkers. It's Sunday afternoon, and we have been sleeping this whole weekend because we spent ALL THURSDAY AND FRIDAY, SO MANY HOURS OMG, chronicling the shitshow that was the Benghazi hearings. Did Hillary come out on...
No, Bill, we haven't forgotten.

It’s Official: Bill Clinton Did 9/11

It has long been the position of the Republican Party that 9/11 was the worst thing to ever happen to America, at least until Barack Obama was elected president (twice). But the party has never been comfortable with the FACT that...

Dana Perino So Sad George Bush Blamed For 9/11 Attack That Never Even Happened

Dana Perino, current Fox Blonde and former spokestwit for President Dubya, is none too happy that people are saying means about her boyfriend George. On Fox New's "The Five," she and four other Fox Morons discussed how unfair it is that...
To be fair, he looks pretty safe there

Never Forget (Except For The Stuff They Wish We’d Forget, Go Ahead And Forget That Stuff)

What is it we're supposed to never forget again? George W. Bush, August 6, 2001: Bush listened to the briefing , Suskind says, then told the CIA briefer: “All right. You’ve covered your ass, now.” George W. Bush, March 13, 2002: just...

Fox Genius Dana Perino Real Upset People Hate Torture More Than They Love Babies

Oh look, here is former George W. Bush spokesditz and current Fox Blonde Dana Perino, doing a dumb on the teevee again. Yes, again. What crawled up her butt and died this time? Did her husband get arrested some more? No,...
The Lindsey Graham Sex Game Show, Starring Lindsey Graham

President Lindsey Graham Doesn’t Need First Lady, Hos Can Just Take Turns

Confirmed bachelor and official ladies' man Sen. Lindsey Graham, who is under the impression he is running for president, got asked a real tough question Tuesday: Hey, since you don't have a pretty, doting wife, who will be the...
It's a good idea in Oregon, it's a good idea everywhere

Tyrant Hillary Clinton Will Haul All Americans Off To Voting Camps

Hillary Clinton pleasantly surprised the hell out of us Thursday by calling for every American to be automatically registered to vote at 18, following the lead of Oregon, which passed universal registration earlier this year. In a speech at Texas...
From 'Children's shows we never watched, Volume 3'

Fox Host To Grads: Want To Save The World? Go Work For Big Oil

It's Graduation Season, and time for all kinds of inspiring thoughts from Olds to Youngs, mostly aimed at telling the Youngs to not fuck things up as badly as the Olds did. One exception, of course, was Kurt Vonnegut,...
This actually happened

Why Are We Hating Obama Today? (He Went To Stonehenge Instead Of Syria That’s Why)

Sometimes we hate President Obama because he is golfing or dictator-ing or bad-tan-suiting or presidenting while black. But today, kids, we get to hate him for sightseeing. Neat! See, the president is off in Merry Ol' Britainland, which is even...

Fox News Has Exciting New Vanity Fair/Hillary Clinton/Monica Lewinsky Conspiracy Theory!

It was a sad day across the Fox News Channel yesterday as the re-emergence of Monica Lewinsky and her coming essay about her long-ago affair with Bill Clinton knocked the BENGHAAAZI!!!11!! “scandal” out of the headlines, forcing the leprous...

Dana Perino Begs Meteorologists Everywhere To Be As Dumb As Fox News, Yell About Benghazi

We all know that Fox News is nothing but faux-outrage over Benghazi -- excuse us, BENGHAZI!111!!! -- 24/7, but their certainty that everyone else is just as pretend-mad is one of the weirdest parts of their obsession. Today, cap-sleeve-wearing...