Tag: dana milbank

Locked and Loaded for the Lord

‘Convert Them Or Kill Them,’ Said Jesus And Other News You Can Maybe Use

We have good news (weed and boobs) and bad news (Dana Milbank). Which do you want first? Too bad, here's what you're getting. Now that Duck Dynasty Derphead Phil Robertson is tourin' the teevee to sell his "book," we'll probably...

Two Stories About Obama, Clinton, ISIS, and Iraq. One Is By Dana Milbank, And One Is Correct

Dana Milbank wants to know why Barack Obama keeps going on vacation even though Dana Milbank assures you that even busy presidents should get vacations and they can keep on presidenting even while they are on vacation but still...

Fox News Getting Genocided Again By Thin-Skinned Unmanly Weasels Who Criticize Bill O’Reilly

Why is it that the tears of Fox News hosts are so especially delicious? After getting huge ratings for his ranty pre-Super Bowl interview with President Obama, Bill O'Reilly and other Fox Newsers are now very, very hurt that...

Anti-Gay Group Leader Frothing Over ‘Hate Group’ Label Was Totally Gay-Married To David Duke

Tony Perkins, the head of the extreme anti-gay hate group the Family Research Council, says the Southern Poverty Law Center has blood on its hands after a pro-gay crazy guy came to the FRC's DC office and tried to...

New Newspaper Reader Sarah Palin Decides Washington Post Is ‘Through’

What's that? Is Sarah Palin reading newspapers now? Haha, no, she's just retweeting the Weekly Standard again. But hey, we actually agree with her! The Washington Post is terrible! But it's not "through" yet; it makes a lot of...

Dumb Dana Milbank/WaPo Online Team Already Break Palin Pledge

Dana Milbank has declared that he will not talk about Sarah Palin in February, in order to get media attention. It's working! Until he posted this yesterday: "I survived Day One of my February Sarah Palin moratorium, defeating the...

Obama ‘Stood His Ground’ With Tax Deal, Says Dana Milbank

Hey! Obama finally did it, you guys! He has won over the key Dana Milbank constituency: "For the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of President Obama." Sure, Dana Milbank was proud of Barack Obama...

Washington Post: Stupid Poor People Always Be Painting Murals

So remember that decision by the Washington Post to start a humor blog? This thing now exists. We have seen this thing. And, umm: Sometimes I think that the area I am living in is not dangerous enough, so I...

Dana Milbank Thinks Female Dog Clinton Would Have Won Midterms

Here's a fun thought experiment to distract us from rampant crap articles about Hillary Clinton running for vice-president: How would her party have fared in last Tuesday's midterms if she was president? Pretty well, according to Dana Milbank! How...

Dana Milbank Pretty Sure Glenn Beck Is Going To Stage a Coup

For some reason (publisher needed to go bankrupt for tax reasons?), somebody gave Dana Milbank a book deal. It's out today, and it's about Glenn Beck and entitled Tears of a Clown: Glenn Beck and the Tea Bagging of...

Dana Milbank Moves To Op-Ed Page, Threatens ‘Humor Blogging’

We shouldn't expect anything weird to be tacked onto this nice little Howard Kurtz profile about how Time is somehow currently profitable despite utter irrelevance, correct? OH GOD: "The Washington Post has a new op-ed columnist." Yes, if Krauthammer...

Episcopal Fundamentalists Declare Jihad On U.S. Senate

Some IDF soldiers did a funny dance while "on patrol" (trying to find flotillas to murder). This lighthearted music video makes everything better; it heals all wounds, big and small. The Episcopal Church is angry at the U.S. Senate...

Obama No Longer Good At Talking, Should Probably Resign

The reviews are in for the president's big Oval Office speech last night, and the consensus is "Meh, this is stupid, why did I watch this stupid thing, this is stupid." If the pundit class is bored of his...

Breaking: Reporters Upset About Stuff, And Nukes

Dana Milbank is all hot and bothered about how he and his pals could not get access to crucial private meetings between leaders of states with massive caches of nuclear materials: "Reporters, even those on the White House beat...

Dana Milbank Still Thinks Rahm Emanuel Is Awesome Even If Everybody Else Wants Him Fired

Everybody used to love Rahm Emanuel, the nine-and-a-half fingered dancing star, because he said "fuck" a lot and was considered, if not "Washington hot," at least "hypertensive rage-filled arrogant monster hot." But a year after the president's chief of...

The Sunday Washington Post Just Got A Whole Lot Wackier

The Washington Post opinion editors searched far and wide, from North to South Pole, from the highest canopies of the Amazon to the murky floor of the Indian Ocean, for a new genius to grace its Sunday edition with...