Wonkette

Maybe it’s true! After all, Osama bin Laden would’ve never known about New York’s big Jewish population had Jesse not called it “Hymietown.” EVERYBODY WILL BE ISSUED NEW NAMES AT THE CONVENTIONS. [Morning Joe/MSNBC] UPDATE: Oh what the hell, Newell posted this like twelve hours earlier. Oh well, no way to take the post down now ….

Here’s beloved liberal Dan Rather responding to a comment from former NFL star Tiki Barber on today’s edition of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, about Jesse Jackson’s influence in politics. We did not see the show as it aired, so we aren’t sure why arbitrary celebrity bums were picked off the street to host today. Point is, Dan Rather says he appreciates Jesse Jackson and that Jackson was importantly “paving the way for an Osama bin Laden to appear.” Our friends on the right would agree! We think he meant “Barack Osama bin Laden,” however. [YouTube]

This week, Michael Chertoff, Dan Rather, Morgan Freeman, and James Carville were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. MORE »

Yesterday in New York Supreme Court, CBS filed a 30-page motion to dismiss former reporter Dan Rather’s $70 million civil lawsuit, reports The New York Observer. CBS executives released a statement saying network execs are “mystified” by Rather’s “bizarre allegations” and will “vigorously” defend themselves in court. “Dan Rather is one of the most important figures in the history of broadcast journalism, and for more than 40 years was one of our most valued colleagues,” CBS said in the statement. “That is why we at CBS are mystified and saddened by the baseless and self-serving allegations and distortions of fact raised in his lawsuit.” Details after the jump. MORE »

• Reliable Source: Washington, D.C.’s former first lady Effi Barry is recovering from acute myeloid leukemia… Hilary Duff fired drummer/DC native Shauney “Baby” Dandy… [WP]
• Lowdown: Chris Hitchens on Brent Snowcroft: “I think he’s an idiot. I’ve always thought he was an idiot.” [NYDN]
• Rush & Molloy: Matt Lauer and Al Roker attended Elizabeth Vargas’ baby shower. “Bob Woodruff… donned a suit and tie for the first time since sustaining critical injuries in Iraq last January.” [NYDN]
• Page Six: A CBS News website story about Katie Couric curiously makes no mention of Dan Rather. [NYP]

* Reliable Source: Michelle Kwan, Henry Kissinger, Tim Russert, Ron Silver, Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice, Barbara Bush, and Donald Rumsfeld attended “very fancy luncheon” for Hu Jintao; the menu included “corn broth with dumpling, halibut and melon.” [WP]
* Inside the Beltway: Pat Buchanan predicts divisions among conservatives are hitting a fever pitch. [WT]
* Rush & Molloy: Democratic strategist David Sirota blames Clinton for job loss overseas. [NYDN]
* Page Six: Ron Burkle is hosting a fundraiser for Sen. Clinton tonight in Beverly Hills. [NYP]
* Cindy Adams: Dan Rather says he was audited four times during the Nixon presidency. [NYP]

• MoDo thinking too hard about “Commander and Chief” to give us insight onto her favorite websites. [E&P]
• Nightline leaving the Beltway for the bright lights of Broadway? [NYO]
• NYer caption contest noms just for media people: “I’m gonna go with a qualified ‘aye’: I think Harriet could take Condi, but only if she wasn’t wearing The Boots.” [FishbowlNY]
• “The sensational accounts [of post-Katrina New Orleans] delayed rescue and evacuation efforts already hampered by poor planning and a lack of coordination among local, state and federal agencies.” If only the President had gotten out of Air Force One to look for himself. [WP]
• Will Dan Rather get his Howard Beale moment? [BC Beat]

• She’s got some vocal critics: “she’s the first Supreme Court nominee whose eyeliner is thicker than her curriculum vitae.” [Luttig's Liar]
• Ryan Lizza notes that “loyalty to Bush trumped intellectual firepower,” and that she once signed a document advocating same-sex couples’ right to adopt. Hmmmm. [&c.]
• Give her this, she knows her daily political tip sheets: “The Note for call[ed] me a ‘a trailblazing, conservative, consensus-y, strict constructionist’ — and then I stopped reading! The Note is always TOO LONG!” [Harriet Miers's Blog]
• Frum hates her, no he doesn’t, yes he does, wait… Nasty comments by National Review neocon mysteriously removed. [Al Franken Show Blog]
• Miers totally responsible for Dan Rather’s downfall. [Attytood]

• Under the Dome: Humane Society says lobbyists use cockfighting to raise money. . . Bork is against television coverage of confirmation hearings. . . Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.) will honor journalists who advanced civil rights; Dan Rather, John Siegenthaler will attend. [The Hill]
• Inside Politics: Fonda cancels bus tour to avoid overshadowing Sheehan. [WT]
• Inside the Beltway: Pierce Brosnan on Bush: “This man called President Bush has a lot to answer for. I don’t know if this man is really taking care of America.”. . . Carville, Matalin sponsor Katrina-benefit run/walk. [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Magic Johnson, Don Cheadle, Jay-Z criticize Bush’s handling of Katrina. [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Clinton buys 15 pounds of candy. [NYDN]
• The Scoop: Michael Moore is reportedly “seriously considering” making a film about government’s response to Katrina. [MSNBC]

• Novak gone from CNN? [TVNewser]
• Dan Quayle: “Non, je ne regrette rien.” [Gawker]
• Downie tried everything short of showing up dressed in Saran Wrap to keep Steve Coll from jumping to the NYer. [NYT]
• Rather will miss drunk-dialing Jennings. [NYM]
• Potential FCC guideline: “we’d like to explore bringing soccer uniforms up to the decency standards of more fully clothed American sports such as baseball and football.” [AdAge]

Feel the need to weigh in on Peter Jennings but have nothing to say? Follow the example NJ Star-Ledger’s Matt Zoller Seitz and write what you know:

He was Mr. Spock to Brokaw’s folksy Bones McCoy and Rather’s impetuous Captain Kirk — an alien intelligence from the planet Canada, offering not a hug or even a reassuring pat on the shoulder, but a poker face that was accented, on rare occasions, by a faintly raised eyebrow.

Guess that would mean Bernie Shaw is Lt. Uhura. But mostly it means Mr. Seitz is in the wrong line of work should get out more.* MORE »