O hai, we are just making this itinerary. We are getting in the car and actually taking a vacation, one that includes paying someone to be us on this here mommyblog while we are gone, so our only responsibilities for just shy of three weeks will be buying you beer and seeing our mama. It […]

Hello Wonkette Trend Watchers! What have we in the world of trigger-happy madness today? It looks like America’s mania for shooting folks is showing no signs of abating. And people are so eager to hop on board this trend that the level of provocation considered acceptable grounds for gun-play is reaching new lows. They’re all […]

Because America is terrible, we have to (have to? get to!) commemorate the last time we managed to successfully kill a president. USA! USA! Believe it or not, we’ve managed to limp along for 50 years without a random nutjob (or a gaggle/plethora/cell/swarm/herd/nest/whatever of nutjobs) knocking off the resident of our nation’s highest elected office. […]

Senior Pastor Frederick Haynes III, of the Friendship West Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas, do you maybe have some thoughts on President Barack Gaybama’s personal statement of support for homosexual marriage from a week or seven back? Would you perhaps care to TESTIFY? And would you, Wonket brothers and sisters, actually like to start your […]

Some guy was showing off his muscle car to his friends in George W. Bush’s neighborhood last night and lost control of the car, ending up crashed on the former president’s lawn. Sounds like Georgie’s got the gang back together.

Is it possible to win an Oscar for best musical selection in a YouTube video? Because this is perfect. Thank you George W. Bush, from the bottom of all our hearts, for winning the Iraq War this week.

Here’s an Ironic Dilemma of Our Times: The only people truly offended by the dumb novelty item called “Truck Nutz” live in the only places where Truck Nutz are commonplace. Conservative church ladies simply don’t care for the plastic replicas of giant testicles swinging from all those pickup truck bumpers. Aren’t white people supposed to […]

Texas GOP clown Pete Sessions last made the news when he suggested the doomed Republicans become more like the Taliban. As the modern Republican is already a fundamentalist nut who buggers little boys, hates science, fears women and constantly fantasizes about being killed for/by God, the only thing left was for the remaining wingnuts to […]

Oh hot dang, somebody got ahold of an old-fashioned talky device called a “telephone” and called the mayor of the fancifully named Dallas, Georgia to learn what he meant when he posted something on Facebook about Obama giving Gordon Brown “a quart of the Bull.” Was this horrible racism? And does it mean that your […]

George W. Bush, remember that guy? Liked to dance with foreign leaders and start wars a lot? He’s so much more likable now that he’s not running the country! For example, back in the day if he’d had the temerity to visit a local elementary school we would probably have said something snide like, “Oh […]

One of the only nifty things about our soon-to-be-former President George W. Bush was his ranch house in Crawford, Texas. It was environmentally awesome, you see! Geothermal heat, underground rainwater collection tanks, native plants all over the place, built out of cheap local limestone — Prairie Chapel Ranch was Bush’s secret hippie paradise. Sometimes when […]

George W. Bush did indeed buy a house for himself and his wife Laura and his two rat dogs as well! It is in the rich area of Dallas, which is probably a suburb! Look!

Can you even believe this George Bush. While all of you people and everyone else are having your homes foreclosed by the Subprimes, PRESIDENT MONEYBAGS over here and his smoker wife “Laura” are going to *buy* a home, to *live* in. “Laura Bush confirmed that she and the President are buying a house in Dallas, […]

It’s easy to forget that some other guy was president before the McCain/Obama joint rulership of America began. The other guy’s name was “George Bush,” and he flew around the world dancing with the natives and bombing nonexistent nuke installations. But now that Dick Cheney has tired of operating the chip in his brain, George […]

On Monday some Dallas County commissioners were talking about problems processing traffic tickets, and this one commissioner said central collections “has become a black hole.” Not one but two of his fellow officials demanded an apology for his racially insensitive remark. Oh goodness! A lot of the commentary on this blog post about the incident […]