Here’s a collection of words and names that will automatically creep you out: Dallas, Secret Service, big crowds, guns, Barack Obama. At a Wednesday rally in Dallas, unnamed “federal officials” stopped the weapons screening for thousands of random people who turned out for Barack Obama’s rally at Reunion Arena. Why? Well, there was kind of a long line, and the 17,000 strangers seemed like a “friendly crowd.” MORE »

Happy Dead Presidents Day, everybody! Our most beloved non-Reagan dead president, John F. “Jack” Kennedy, was killed by Lyndon Johnson’s Anti-Castro Cuban CIA Mafia Military-Industrial FBI Complex way back in 1963. We still don’t know exactly what happened, because “the government” won’t release the files for another forty or fifty years (or never), but the Dallas Morning News says a weird old transcript proves or doesn’t prove how “lone gunman” Lee Harvey Oswald and mafia-nightclub tough Jack Ruby discussed killing JFK so, uh, the Chicago mob wouldn’t be bothered by Kennedy’s little brother, Bobby Kennedy, who was attorney general back when the attorney general was expected to do anti-crime things rather than just torture innocent foreigners forever, in Cuba. MORE »

* New JFK assassination film released only 45 years after the Powers That Be killed him. It’s great how the “amateur photographer” got establishing shots of the Texas School Book Depository and the sixth-floor windows before the murder. [Raw Story]
* The teevee causes “cancer, autism, dementia” and other problems, no matter what you watch. PBS probably causes AIDS. [Scotsman]
* Seriously, watching the teevee will kill you, and then your corpse will sit there for a year or so. [IHT]
* Texas congressman Sam Johnson (R-Schizophrenic) was all for withholding U.S. military funding in Bosnia because “the president has tied our hands, gone against the wishes of the American people, and this is the last best way I know how to show my respect for our American servicemen and women.” Obviously, he loves the Iraq Surge today. [Reason Hit & Run]
* U.S. spies reading, laughing at your e-mail. [Cryptogon]
* This little fascist Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Cunt) wants all your Internet traffic and searches and IMs and emails recorded forever and provided to the government, even though Google already does that. {Security Focus]
* WALNUTS! McCain kicks Rummy when he’s down. [CNN]

• Inside the Beltway: C-SPAN will start a special evening call-in program about the Jack Abramoff scandal tonight at 8 p.m. [WT]
• Names & Faces: Samuel Alito is a big fan of a coffee roast named after him. [WP]
• Rush & Molloy: Bush is rumored to be interested in moving to Dallas after his term ends. [NYDN]
• Page Six: Don Imus calls Tucker Carlson a “twit” and Chris Matthews an “idiot” in Vanity Fair profile. [NYP]