Tag: daily mail

Zombie TrumpCare Dies Again! Wonkagenda for Tues., July 18, 2017

TrumpCare fails again, the House moves on to money, and Trump screams at Chris Christie. Your morning news brief.

Sean Spicer Simply Too Fat To Brief Press These Days

What the hell is going on with the White House Press Briefings?

Karen Handel Sucks. Wonkagenda For Tues., June 20, 2017

Dem's are talking until they're blue in the face, Karen Handel is a very bad person, and Pharma-Bro is back! Your morning news brief!

Daily Mail Pretty Sure Black Dude Caused Grenfell Fire, Not The Long-Known Fire Hazards

The Daily Mail is FAR TOO GOOD for Occam.

Daily Mail Called Melania A Hooker, And Now She Can’t Sell Us First Lady Fragrances! Lawsuit!

Melania Trump is SUING. She is suing the Daily Mail for $150 million, because of an article they wrote that she believes suggested that she was maybe a hooker at one point. Now! If Melania did not work...

Hey, How About Trump Appoints Sylvester Stallone To Run National Endowment For The Arts? Classy!

Sylvester Stallone as head of the National Endowment for the Arts? Sounds Rocky.
It's Banksy, in a canal, with a spray can.

House Science Committee Celebrates Death Of Facts By Retweeting Fake Breitbart Climate Article

What's that? The House Science Committee retweeted Breitbart? Honey, it IS Breitbart.

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 23, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Kansas Lawmaker’s Child Reportedly FREAKING DECAPITATED By Unregulated Waterpark

Well, this is horrible, but it's the Daily Mail, so let's pray they're wrong: A 10-year-old boy in Kansas, son of a Republican lawmaker, was reportedly FUCKING DECAPITATED at Kansas City's Schlitterbahn Waterpark Sunday. Would it be better if...
Borned stupid.

Ted Cruz’s Dildos Squeezed Their Way Into Your Weekly Top Ten

What up, our Wonkette bros and lady-bros, are you ready to get a Top Ten list crammed at your face? GOOD. We had some weird news this week, about Ted Cruz's Dildo Issues. And also some other things too!...
Dick Morris Spank Book

British Rag ‘Daily Mail’ Can’t Stop Puking Over That Nice Princess Woman’s Gross Toes

Princess ... Kate? That very pretty woman who married Prince William. She is quite lovely! Her sister has a nice butt! She wears really nice clothes that always seem appropriate! She had very bad morning sickness while she was...

Trump Campaign Manager Had To Kick Gal Reporter’s Ass Because She Might Be Assassin!

Last week, Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski had never touched (now ex-) Breitbart reporter gal Michelle Fields. She was a "delusional" "attention seeker" and hysteric, and he couldn't have grabbed her so hard he left bruises, because he had...
Secret admirer, secret admirer!

Brave Todd Starnes Fights For College Kids’ Right To Eat Breasts On Buttery Buns

Earlier this week, the University of Nebraska-Kearney scrapped plans to install a Chick-Fil-A franchise on campus after numerous complaints from students upset about the chain's regressive views on marriage equality. That seems clear-cut and reasonable, and we can all...

Some Newspaper: Jerry Hall And Rupert Murdoch Totally Doing It. Sorry About Your Breakfast

The Telegraph news-paper of Jollye Olde Englande has some items of interest to pique your gag reflex: According to "reports" and "some people" and "other citations that oddly do not exist," sexy ladies man Rupert Murdoch is totally sticking...