daily mail

Hey, America, remember how the entire rightwing media howler monkey brigade was telling us that not only did Bowe Bergdahl desert his post, he also willingly joined the Taliban and taught them how to build bombs after he was captured? And so we never should have bothered bringing him back to U.S. America? Oh, except […]

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the feature where we bring you the very best of the worst detritus that’s clung to our browser tabs all week. We find the stories that are too short for a full post but too stupid to ignore altogether and serve them up to you in a delicious […]

Here is some video of Barack Obama and family arriving at a sportsball game Sunday at the University of Maryland. They went to watch Michelle’s brother Craig Robinson, who coaches the Oregon State University sportsball men. Give it a listen, but turn it down before you get to about 2:13, when some really loud music […]

In an exclusive interview with the Daily Mail, Gennifer Flowers reveals that Bill Clinton was the “love of her life,” that they’d be married and living it up today if not for Chelsea, and that Clinton confided to her that Hillary is definitely bisexual. And would you believe this incredible interview just happens to coincide […]

Glenn Beck — the man who is too crazy even for Fox News, and also can spell real good — is determined to get to the bottom of how the Boston marathon bombing is somehow Obama’s fault because that’s how much he loves America. In April, he explained how the Saudi guy did it, and […]

We do not usually read things from the UK because we are Mericans, but lately we have enjoyed the prose stylings of the Daily Mail. They’ve given us articles about how nonsense Boston bomber rumors are not true, but it would be interesting and HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS if they were, hmmmmmm? Britain’s own New York Post […]

In yet another example of How Men Are Oppressed In These Difficult Times, Limey nutsack Peter Lloyd wrote a thing in the Daily Mail recently explaining that he is suing his gym because they have a certain number of hours for women only. It’s a shocking infringement of his Right To See Ladies In Spandex, […]

Oh Daily Mail, you guys are so awesome at journalism. (All y’all will want to read all the way to the end, to mark the exact moment when the Daily Mail received all the Pulitzers, even retroactively.) Zubeidat and her husband Anzor Tsarnaev have claimed that their oldest son received a call from the FBI […]

Good news everyone! The Right has come to its senses and realized the most pressing question about Obama is not “where is the birth certificate?” (DUH) it’s actually “was Obama’s father the left wing poet and activist Frank Marshall Davis?” and! “did Davis take nudie pics of Obama’s mom that later appeared in Bizarre Life […]

One of the greatest questions plaguing birthers about the president’s birth certificate has been, of course, “What did the aliens have to do with it?” But they may have finally uncovered it: The aliens did brain surgery on Obama and filled his head with a device that can only respond to a teleprompter, as that […]

The lunatic who attacked the Paul Gauguin masterpiece “Two Tahitian Women” screamed about her hatred of lesbians as she impotently pounded on the clear plastic cover protecting the post-impressionist portrait of a pair of topless Maori gals. The suspect, 53-year-old Susan Burns, screamed “This is very homosexual!” as she attacked the painting on exhibit at […]

For years now, the media has waited with bated breath for Barack Obama’s hair to turn totally gray. The stresses of the job are supposed to do this to a president, we’ve been told. But why is it taking so long? The media is always right about such important matters. The only answer: conspiracy. The […]