Tag: daily mail

It's Banksy, in a canal, with a spray can.

House Science Committee Celebrates Death Of Facts By Retweeting Fake Breitbart Climate Article

What's that? The House Science Committee retweeted Breitbart? Honey, it IS Breitbart.

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 23, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Kansas Lawmaker’s Child Reportedly FREAKING DECAPITATED By Unregulated Waterpark

Well, this is horrible, but it's the Daily Mail, so let's pray they're wrong: A 10-year-old boy in Kansas, son of a Republican lawmaker, was reportedly FUCKING DECAPITATED at Kansas City's Schlitterbahn Waterpark Sunday. Would it be better if...
Borned stupid.

Ted Cruz’s Dildos Squeezed Their Way Into Your Weekly Top Ten

What up, our Wonkette bros and lady-bros, are you ready to get a Top Ten list crammed at your face? GOOD. We had some weird news this week, about Ted Cruz's Dildo Issues. And also some other things too!...
Dick Morris Spank Book

British Rag ‘Daily Mail’ Can’t Stop Puking Over That Nice Princess Woman’s Gross Toes

Princess ... Kate? That very pretty woman who married Prince William. She is quite lovely! Her sister has a nice butt! She wears really nice clothes that always seem appropriate! She had very bad morning sickness while she was...

Trump Campaign Manager Had To Kick Gal Reporter’s Ass Because She Might Be Assassin!

Last week, Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski had never touched (now ex-) Breitbart reporter gal Michelle Fields. She was a "delusional" "attention seeker" and hysteric, and he couldn't have grabbed her so hard he left bruises, because he had...
Secret admirer, secret admirer!

Brave Todd Starnes Fights For College Kids’ Right To Eat Breasts On Buttery Buns

Earlier this week, the University of Nebraska-Kearney scrapped plans to install a Chick-Fil-A franchise on campus after numerous complaints from students upset about the chain's regressive views on marriage equality. That seems clear-cut and reasonable, and we can all...

Some Newspaper: Jerry Hall And Rupert Murdoch Totally Doing It. Sorry About Your Breakfast

The Telegraph news-paper of Jollye Olde Englande has some items of interest to pique your gag reflex: According to "reports" and "some people" and "other citations that oddly do not exist," sexy ladies man Rupert Murdoch is totally sticking...
His active bitch face is no prize either

James O’Keefe Catches Hillary Clinton In Biggest Felony Yet!

Moron undercover video scam arteeste James O'Keefe claims to have finally nailed Hillary Clinton campaign workers committing serious campaign law violations in Nevada, maybe, at least if O'Keefe yells "Felony! Felony" loud enough. In his latest hit video, released...

How Is Bowe Bergdahl Failing To Be A Taliban Sympathizer Today?

Hey, America, remember how the entire rightwing media howler monkey brigade was telling us that not only did Bowe Bergdahl desert his post, he also willingly joined the Taliban and taught them how to build bombs after he was...

Derp Roundup: Jenna Bush Has A Posse — And They’re Big Jerk Babies

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the feature where we bring you the very best of the worst detritus that's clung to our browser tabs all week. We find the stories that are too short for a full...

Daily Mail Accurately Reports That Barack Obama Attended Sportsball Game, Gets Everything Else Not Right

Here is some video of Barack Obama and family arriving at a sportsball game Sunday at the University of Maryland. They went to watch Michelle's brother Craig Robinson, who coaches the Oregon State University sportsball men. Give it a...

Perfectly Believable Gennifer Flowers Says She And Bill Would Be Sweetly Married Today If Not For That Hellbeast Chelsea

In an exclusive interview with the Daily Mail, Gennifer Flowers reveals that Bill Clinton was the "love of her life," that they'd be married and living it up today if not for Chelsea, and that Clinton confided to...

Glenn Beck Wants His Tax Dollar Back Because Terrorism

Glenn Beck -- the man who is too crazy even for Fox News, and also can spell real good -- is determined to get to the bottom of how the Boston marathon bombing is somehow Obama's fault because that's...

Wonkette’s New Best Friend Daily Mail Tempts Us With Scintillating Saudi Secrets About The Boston Bomber

We do not usually read things from the UK because we are Mericans, but lately we have enjoyed the prose stylings of the Daily Mail. They've given us articles about how nonsense Boston bomber rumors are not true, but...