* Bill Clinton might have called hookers “just to talk,” but he never inhaled, or finished himself off, or, whatever. [Shenanigans]
* Joe Biden tells a gym full of high school kids about all the countries he can’t wait to start bombing. [PrezVid]
* Bill Kristol does a blawg about how HuffPo commenters hate America because they wish Dick Cheney was dead. Great start, Bill! [Worldwide Standard]
* George Pataki considers whether to waste his time running for president. [Hotline on Call]
* Kos nerds spend most of their time talking about Bush and Lieberman — glad we stopped reading that site two years ago. [MyDD]
* He’s not in office anymore, but we know you still hate him — Rick Santorum goes journo. [TAPPED]
* Bill O’Reilly: “the clown that no one laughs at, they all just wish he’d die.” [ePluribus]

The Aryan Conspiracy against America’s first half-black president continues, as proven by this actual CNN screen capture. Also, we’re supposed to believe anybody at CNN cares about “Obama bin Laden” in 2007. Not even Bush pretends to act like Bin Laden is a big scary bogeyman these days! MORE »

While we were enjoying whatever people enjoy over the long War On Christmas weekend, that secret NRA graphic novel we discovered was causing all sorts of ruckus.

A bunch of dull morons over at the Daily Kos spent a lonesome day “proving” how we magically created all this beautifully frightening artwork because “Wonkette: Liar” (seriously, that was their headline). Smarter people over at a California concealed-weapon-permit site had more interesting things to say, but concluded the NRA comic was a hoax not by Wonkette but by a literary website we’ve never heard of — that theory lasted long enough to make it to Boing Boing, while CBS News producers desperately sought comment from Wonkette editors … in the comments.

More crap, after the jump.

MORE »

If you write fawning crap about politicians on your blog, apparently those politicians will give you huge piles of money to “keep up the good work.” Who knew? MORE »

• George Allen’s campaign trying to hire “conservative blog maven” to put out the fires next time he blurts out an onomatopoetic racial slur. [Hotline On Call]

• GOP attacks Kos, publishes dirty words on site. [GOP.com]
• Joe Scarborough covers “Fake News vs. Fox News” as if it’s real news. [Crooks and Liars]
• Tucker Carlson removed his satin shirt before calling the Democratic leadership, “wussies.” [Media Matters]
• Magic chicken bones indicate nation to enter recession. [Jeff Matthews Is Not Making This Up]
• The rest of the world hates America because, “they’re just mad we thought of bombing them before they thought of bombing themselves.” [Pandagon]

One more of these stories and it becomes a “pattern.” In Ohio, Republican Ken Blackwell (cue 10,000 left-wing bloggers e-mailing me stolen election theories) is running a (at the moment) losing campaign for governor against Democrat Ted Strickland. The Democrat is an ordained minister, and married, but he has no kids. You can guess the next part - a Blackwell consultant e-mailed Republicans and claimed Strickland was a big ol’ queerboy.

The e-mail, obtained by The Dispatch, was sent to an undisclosed group of GOP supporters - with instructions to forward it to others - by Gary Lankford, whom the party hired in July as its “social conservative coordinator”… Among other things, the e-mail says Strickland married his wife, Frances, at 46, has no children and lives apart from her. It also links readers to an Internet blog that directly questions the sexual orientation of both Stricklands and notes accusations he is “soft on those who sexually assault children.”

This is actually a slightly classier version of what North Carolina Republican Vernon Robinson (who’s achieved a little fame for his “Twilight Zone” ad promising to kick illegal immigrants and faggots back across the border) did back in May. His opponent, Rep. Brad Miller, is an occasional poster on Daily Kos who’s said nice things about chief blogger Markos Moulitsas. Robinson responded with the direct mail you can see part of in this post.

Brad Miller has gotten into bed with Markos Moulitsas Zuniga, a 35-year old musician who was raised in El Salvador before moving to San Francisco.

Kos is married and has a kid.

Brad Miller is a childless, middle-aged, trial lawyer whose ideological worldview was formulated when he joined the ranks of the hippie peaceniks and volunteered on Eugene McCarthy’s 1968 presidential campaign.

Miller is childless because his wife had a hysterectomy and can’t bear children. MORE »

• Republican congressman keeps day job after trying hand at blogging, comedy. [The Hill Blog]

• Two-and-a-half years in office and Schwarzenegger is still shocked by how redneck California actually is. [AP]
• If Kos is getting paid to hate Lieberman then his credibility will be, well, about the same as ours. [The Nation]
• Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah gives $1.5 billion, with a “b,” to aid Lebanese reconstruction efforts; feels the same way you do after dropping a nickel on the street. [AKI]
• Jon Stewart is so predictable you can set your binge drinking by him. [Comedy Central] MORE »

Yesterday’s NYT Magazine contained an interesting interview with Markos Moulitsas Z

As Daily Kos and other have pointed out, Bush’s hat tip to local culture in Mongolia — drinking fermented yak’s milk — means that the poor guy is drinking. “Again.” The sad thing about Bush resorting to drinking yak’s milk isn’t that it’s yak’s milk, it’s that it’s only 3% alcohol. Look, we’ve gone all Kitty Dukakis at times as well but if you’re going to sink, make it count. Hairspray, paint thinner… as a friend told us, “Dude, I’ve drank NyQuil when there was nothing else in the house. Actually, it blends pretty well with grapefruit juice.” Surprisingly, so does yak’s milk. MORE »

• Daily Kos poster, LGF commenters form suicide call help line. How-to line, maybe. [Mr. Snitch]
• m4m, must be over 18, willing to travel, kill people. [NYPost]
• We are pleased to report that Benton M Wilmoth IV still makes the shittiest money in the White House. [Froomkin]
• Roy Moore hoping to make Alabama safe for 5000 pound religious sculpture. [WP, The Atlantic]
• The Iraq war is not going so well, according to both Jon Stewart and, uhm, Andy Rooney. [C&L, CBS] MORE »

• Conspiracy theories that would bore Michael Moore.
• Jokes that have to be explained to anyone not already reading Daily Kos.
• Photoshop pranks that make the obvious literal.
• Offers for S0ft taabb v1ali$. Contradiction in terms, no?